Apologies if some of these questions seem a bit candidI'm pre-op and have recently been signed off by the psych team at Charing Cross (London GD centre) and referred for GRS.
I'm about 3 years into transition and had FFS last year. Cosmetically I'm quite satisfied with the results ... but still have extreme numbness in my scalp/cheeks/lips/chin (7 months now) and I am worried it may not improve ...
I'm
TERRIFIED of GRS! :'(
I
do want the surgery (because I am not happy with my current ... plumbing ... it is not acceptable to me) but it scares me in many ways ... there are the "normal" fears of any big surgery , but the questions of ...
- Will it look "OK" afterwards. (I do hope to be physically intimate with other lesbians)
- Will I still be able to achieve climax. (I can at present when stimulated as if I had the proper bits at the moment)
- How onerous will dilating bee for the rest of my life
... all leave me feeling extremely panicked! Will I lose sensation, will a partner find my plumbing acceptable, etc.
I'd appreciate hearing the experience/advice of others who have had GRS as to their experience (good/bad/how you coped)
Sam x
Hi Sam,
Hoping to put your fears to rest. And remember what fear stands for. False Evidence Appearing Real.
1. Yes it WILL look OK afterwards. Once the swelling and bruising subside it all looks very natural.
2. Yes, you should become quite sensate once the swelling goes down and nerve tissue reconnects. Keep stimulating yourself now to keep the brain synapses active.
3. Dilating is determined by your attitude. You can either make it a pleasure or a task. Your call. Either way it does take up a considerable part of your day for the first 6 months. As does your new personal hygiene.
As to whether your partner finds your "plumbing" acceptable is purely up to them, irrespective of what you do. You can't be held responsible for someone's thoughts and feelings. The only one who can change someone's opinion is that person, no one else.
How did I cope? Beyond expectation. If it wasn't irreversable I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. For me it was totally painless. I did my homework on all aspects of the surgery, expectation of the hospital and meditated a lot on the overall process to ensure mind and body were totally and completely at peace with the entire procedure. That was essential, for me.
What other doubts do you have?
Huggs
Catherine
Your worried and scared I totally understand. But you already know the answer to your questions. But you will still freak out and think of all the worse case possibilities until you actually have the surgery and recovery :)
Well, you already know there are no guarantees. But if it helps, I had GRS over 18 months ago now, and dilation is barely an annoyance at this point. :) Once a week for 15 minutes is the goal from the surgeon (currently doing 2X weekly/15 minutes each session).
I'm 100% sensitive and functional - orgasmic in my sleep 3 weeks post-op - and at least one gynecologist couldn't tell. From what I hear, the UK surgeons are at least as good as Brassard, who worked on me...
Good luck!!
Thanks all for you replies. the "black dog" has moved on ... due to talking/sharing and putting in some action.
I hold in the balance that I do not wish to continue with my current plumbing and GRS is the option ... just gonna have to accept that there are risks involved.
The reading of other's posts here (and elsewhere) and some more research on the different surgeons has helped settle things in my mind ... and I'm pretty much now considering Brassard as my favoured choice.
Sam x
Quote from: JourneyingSam on February 21, 2014, 01:06:51 PM
Thanks all for you replies. the "black dog" has moved on ... due to talking/sharing and putting in some action.
I hold in the balance that I do not wish to continue with my current plumbing and GRS is the option ... just gonna have to accept that there are risks involved.
The reading of other's posts here (and elsewhere) and some more research on the different surgeons has helped settle things in my mind ... and I'm pretty much now considering Brassard as my favoured choice.
Sam x
If you do use Dr. Brassard i think you will be happy. The residence is a geat addition to the surgery. Haveing 24 hr care post for a week is something great to have.
Wishing you the best.
Isabell
I will talk from my experience
1) it does look "ok" right now, but sort of... messy. I will have small revision in summer, because right now it's asymmetrical
2) I am 3 months post op and I am only able to achieve climax white working out the muscles inside the new vagina, clitoris stimulation does not feel anywhere near good :( I hope it will go away over time, because I am also gay and it is so important to me
3) I only dilate once a day now per Dr.'s instructions, because I have only asked for 2 inch depth and depth is not important to me at all. At first I was doing 4 times a day for 30 minutes and was sick of it :)