Hi !
I'm finally going to see a therapist next week (if my mom doesnt change her opinion again about seeing a therapist... I hope she won't) and I dont know what I should say the first time. Should I speak about gender issues on the first time or should I wait ? I have to tell the therapist my story and all but should I tell "Hello I'm a french boy and I'm transgender !" once I see a therapist ?
Please tell me :-\
Hi LF,
The first session is usually all about getting an idea of who you are and what interests you. Specifically, name, address, date of birth, what school you go to, what's your favourite subject, what sport do you play etc, etc, etc.
Questions are generally non specific, eg what things upset you, what things make you happy etc.
Second session is where things start to get down to business. How do you feel about yourself, what makes you think you're TG, have you been abused, etc.
Most of your time will be spent answering questions. Generally speaking the therapist sets the agenda in the first couple of session. You set the agenda later when you want to spend time on more serious matters you want to work on.
Hope it goes well for you. Keep in touch and let us know how you are coping.
Huggs
Catherine
When I went to my first session, she was like well what do you want to talk about, I looked at her probly for a good 3 minutes, without saying anything and was finally like, I'm not good at opening up and talking, this isnt easy, so then she said ok how about I ask you general questions instead first and then next thing you know, I'm talking to her about being transgendered and how I want to take T and how I dont feel gay and my mom thinks I'm crazy, the therapist will get you talking lol
Je ne suis pas votre fort historyi par le mien, ce que vous allez dire, c'est:
Je suis si malheureux dans ce corps, je ne suis pas un homme, je suis une femme!
Cette histoire n'est pas de nuages, je savais que je suis un des femelles j'avais quatre ans.
Je n'ai pas Comod fois puis-je vivre le reste de ma vie semblant d'être un homme .... est si écrasante que cela interfère avec mes études et felizida, aidez-moi s'il vous plaît
(Je m'excuse pour mon français, qui n'est pas si bon. Suerta bon ami)
Thanks for your replies :)
I'm not even sure that my mom wont change her opinion again and that I'll see a therapist so thank you in advance ;)
Peky you were not forced to speak in french :p
I hope it will be fine.
I too feel like playing my boy role... :-\
When I told my mom the first time she thought I was "just gay" but I love women so ... I'm lesbian that's not the same :D
It's harder to speak to my mom than to a friend or to you on the forums because I make my mom sad because she thinks I'm insane because she didn't do parenting right... and she make me sad then :embarrassed:
So, let's see what will happen next... *hope* :)
Your therapist should make you feel comfortable and ask you questions. My therapist asked more about my goals than my past. I didn't talk about gender for 8 months (but I had other things to work on). They should talk about privacy and their policies (cancellations and stuff).
You may want to ask them questions about their method, or experience with trans clients, etc.
I recently started seeing a therapist. I am usually shy and have a hard time expressing my feelings. However the therapist put me at ease by asking a lot of general background questions and then giving me room to talk as I wished. I have found it very easy to talk to her about things I have never been able to express to those close to me. Just be honest and talk about whatever concerns you and you will be fine.
Okay. I've lot of things to say about only years of this life. I cant wait more !
My therapist is pretty blunt which is what I was looking for in a therapist when I found her. I did not want to waste time with niceties or beating around any bushes; I was willing to pay top dollar out of my pocket for the best & quickest therapy I could get and did not want to waste time & money on unnecessary stuff.
So I was not surprised at all when she started out by asking me why I was there. I took my gaze off of her and picked a spot on the wall to look at and started telling her about me, and we were off and running.
I did the same thing Eva, I tried to keep eye contact but its not easy talking about personal things and especially about being transgendered, so I picked a spot on the wall and looked at that while talking and it felt easier.
Yes it's already quite hard for me to speak to other people cause I'm shy and speaking about personal problems will be harder than usualy... :-\
At my first therapy session, we had an hour and a half to talk. Once he asked me: "Why are you here?", I spoke for an hour and 15 minutes straight.
Walked out with an official diagnosis of GID after that.
Mission Accomplished.
It was very difficult to open up period, let alone to my Therapist, but she was kind and understanding and it helped that she specialized in Trans* issues... soooo it was kind of a forgone conclusion as to why I was there. Even with that, it was difficult to say the words. She started by asking some personal questions nothing too personal. Eventually I felt comfortable enough to open up to her, but for me to feel totally comfortable I had to ask that I assumed everything that I say is in confidence. She of course agreed that everything is in strict confidence, and that gave me the courage to come out and tell her I was transgender.
I hope the therapist I'll see will be as kind as yours :)
i hope mine will be aswell if i go in and say I'm 1000000% sure i want to start the Transition from MTF and go on HRT how long will it take i know its a long time to wait but I'm getting worse by the day I'm always depressed and can't live like this no more i just want to be me :(
Quote from: <3Ronnie<3 on February 24, 2014, 02:04:51 AM
i hope mine will be aswell if i go in and say I'm 1000000% sure i want to start the Transition from MTF and go on HRT how long will it take i know its a long time to wait but I'm getting worse by the day I'm always depressed and can't live like this no more i just want to be me :(
I know that you are extremely anxious to get the ball rolling, but in all honesty you might reconsider going in with that kind of attitude. Sure you should know what your goals are, but don't go in and demand HRT & transition right off of the bat. Instead, give the therapist a chance to do their work and see where it takes you and I think that you'll be very pleasantly surprised at the outcome.
I view the time I spent with my therapist as some of the most valuable time I could have possibly put into my transition; it has provided me with
resources and with the confidence that I need as I move forward. I consider my therapist to be a trusted partner in my transition.
Quote from: Eva Marie on February 24, 2014, 07:14:00 AM
I know that you are extremely anxious to get the ball rolling, but in all honesty you might reconsider going in with that kind of attitude. Sure you should know what your goals are, but don't go in and demand HRT & transition right off of the bat. Instead, give the therapist a chance to do their work and see where it takes you and I think that you'll be very pleasantly surprised at the outcome.
I view the time I spent with my therapist as some of the most valuable time I could have possibly put into my transition; it has provided me with
resources and with the confidence that I need as I move forward. I consider my therapist to be a trusted partner in my transition.
yh i was really stressed earlier just had to vent but yh sorry about that :) and yh i would first like to get to speak about my past and get them to make the right choice i can open upto people very easily and i hope i can speak to my therapist about anything like that after some time if he/she agrees with me and i do start HRT it will be the best day of my life "so far" is there anything i will need to bring with me on my first session ??? thanks for the reply eva marie :)
I'm stressed too about seeing a therapist ^^
Quote from: LonelyFrench on February 24, 2014, 03:48:11 PM
I'm stressed too about seeing a therapist ^^
well i hope everything works out for you :)
I hope you'll be fine too :)
Quote from: <3Ronnie<3 on February 24, 2014, 10:18:05 AM
yh i was really stressed earlier just had to vent but yh sorry about that :) and yh i would first like to get to speak about my past and get them to make the right choice i can open upto people very easily and i hope i can speak to my therapist about anything like that after some time if he/she agrees with me and i do start HRT it will be the best day of my life "so far" is there anything i will need to bring with me on my first session ??? thanks for the reply eva marie :)
No need to apologize :)
Therapy is for you. The therapist is there to help you. Therapy is a process where the therapist guides the therapy session but you are the main contributor. The therapist adds their insights and knowledge into the discussion as appropriate, and will give opinions if asked about something, but it will be you doing most of the "work" in the session, guided by the therapist. It sounds hard when I put it that way, but what you will find is that your therapy time will fly by (my sessions are 50 minutes in length) and you will be surprised each time when it's over.
So bring whatever you think will help or will contribute to the session, like writings or journal entries or whatever. What I bring each time are my thoughts, organized into topics that I want to discuss. What usually ends up happening is that our discussion wanders far away from my list of topics :laugh:
The therapist may assign "homework" at the end of each session. My homework assignments were all over the map, including one assignment that was for me to leave the therapy session and go shopping at a local nearby mall to gain experience as Eva. That was terrifying, but it built my confidence level.
i will I've got my appointment tomorrow with my nurse and a GID doctor <-- i think thats what he is called i don't know but hopefully that will go well
Quote from: Eva Marie on February 25, 2014, 08:43:44 AM
No need to apologize :)
Therapy is for you. The therapist is there to help you. Therapy is a process where the therapist guides the therapy session but you are the main contributor. The therapist adds their insights and knowledge into the discussion as appropriate, and will give opinions if asked about something, but it will be you doing most of the "work" in the session, guided by the therapist. It sounds hard when I put it that way, but what you will find is that your therapy time will fly by (my sessions are 50 minutes in length) and you will be surprised each time when it's over.
So bring whatever you think will help or will contribute to the session, like writings or journal entries or whatever. What I bring each time are my thoughts, organized into topics that I want to discuss. What usually ends up happening is that our discussion wanders far away from my list of topics :laugh:
The therapist may assign "homework" at the end of each session. My homework assignments were all over the map, including one assignment that was for me to leave the therapy session and go shopping at a local nearby mall to gain experience as Eva. That was terrifying, but it built my confidence level.
ok i will just bring my laptop its got all my diary pages in it with all my forts and feelings about my life so i hope that will help the therapist understand me and he/she get to know me more and yh i get carried off subject a lot to haha when i speak to my nurse who comes round every week we talk about how I'm doing for about 10 mins then we just go on about random stuff haha you're info has helped me a lot ill also bring my doctors notes with me aswell I've just finished work so I'm gonna go grab a bite to eat
QuoteAva Marie wrote:
The therapist may assign "homework" at the end of each session. My homework assignments were all over the map, including one assignment that was for me to leave the therapy session and go shopping at a local nearby mall to gain experience as Eva. That was terrifying, but it built my confidence level.
The best "homework my therapist gave me was to join a trans* Gender Support group to build my confidence with others like me. By invitation only, I needed to be interviewed by the moderators. I was petrified to let others know about me but now I have such wonderful friends, confidence being built, and barriers are being removed. Ronnie, I wish you sooo much luck sweety, you won't regret it.
xxx
Quote from: ana on February 25, 2014, 04:40:56 PM
The best "homework my therapist gave me was to join a trans* Gender Support group to build my confidence with others like me. By invitation only, I needed to be interviewed by the moderators. I was petrified to let others know about me but now I have such wonderful friends, confidence being built, and barriers are being removed. Ronnie, I wish you sooo much luck sweety, you won't regret it.
xxx
thank you for such a nice reply so far the only site i have joined would be this one most of my friends know i don't feel a boy and wish to change from MTF and every now and then i go out in female onesies and wear female plimsoles because I'm not ready to go out fully in female clothes until i look more like a female physically to feel more like my inside my mum knows I'm seeing loads of people and always having meetings with doctors but she doesn't know i plan to change my body i know if i said i want to be a girl she would have the shock of her life and i don't know if she would want me living at home or if she would accept me if anything i get so depressed a lot during the day and night knowing every day I'm turning more masculine and growing hair on my arms, face, and chest i just look at myself in the mirror or when I'm in the bath and feel like if i just closed my eyes and wished to be a female and when i opened them i wouldn't see the one i have now i know in myself i was born in the wrong body but will the therapist think the same id hate to go through all of this to be told that they won't help me to be honest i couldn't imagine a life were i have to continue like this i know its not a phase because i have felt this way since i was 6 i also dream a lot about being female and I'm so happy until i wake up then it just takes a lot for me to even leave the house but i have to goto work so i can't just sit indoors all day but if i was agreed to start the transition id probably give the therapist the biggest hug ever haha anyway I've got finger cramp now so I'm gonna end this reply thank u everyone for the support <3 <3 <3
It's exactly the same for me, Ronnie, except the fact that I'm in high school... It's hard to come out to students or teachers... :embarrassed: