most people I talk to or read about say they always knew or they knew from a very young age IE 4yr-6yr. I myself think I started to feel different around 11 or 12. Is this age kind of late to have these thoughts?
It's just been my whole life. Ever since my earliest memory. There's never been a time where it wasn't a constant thing I dealt with.
Everybody's different and figures things out at different times, tho.
Quote from: jussmoi4nao on February 17, 2014, 10:08:41 AM
It's just been my whole life. Ever since my earliest memory. There's never been a time where it wasn't a constant thing I dealt with.
Everybody's different and figures things out at different times, tho.
^This. There was never a time I was not like this. One of my earleist memories is asking my mom when she was freshening her lipstick if I could use it. I was 4. Things just got worse from there. I also remember I had a dream at age 5, maybe earlier, cause the dream took place in Philly, before I moved to the burbs, and I got a dress for a present and I ripped it up and said I didnt want it. Not sure what taht means. Maybe the dress was ugly lol at age 6 I was corss dressing. At age 7, I only played with girls. At age 8, i was kicked out the girls room and made a mockery of. At age 9, my teacher wanted to call the police, because I was so depressed all the time that she thought I must be getting beaten at home and even made my parents come in for a conference. i could go on and on...
I knew when I was 4.
I honestly don't remember much from my childhood.. but I think I was 13 or 14 when I first searched online for "gender change". I don't know what triggered it, but I don't think there was much sign of it before then.
Sometime in my middle school years ~ I had the misfortune of being bullied on a daily basis so my mind and body took on a defensive/predatorial survival mode and all other things got pushed to the side until I had some alone time or peaceful time to let my guard down; I'd say maybe age 12 or 13, I realized that everything just felt wrong, and i was severely depressed but no one could figure out why ~ I went to 3 different psychologists who hypnotized me, dosed me up, diagnosed me. I took anti-depressants for a while but it didn't help (it helped to some degree but the depression always came back). No matter what i did, the depression remained, so I knew something was "off" around my middle school years, and it wasnt until around September 2012 that I started making a closer connection (once I was already an adult living on my own, with no friends or people I felt I needed to "impress" or "hide from", so I was officially no longer in survival mode because I had no one to fear... other than my wife lol)
So while I made the true discovery not too long ago, my life never made sense as far back as i can recall the confusion setting in, which was about 6th or 7th grade ( 12-13)
In my middle school years around age 12 or 13
Looking back at when I was 4 I know something was wrong just felt different with the gender thing but really was strong in Second third grade for sure and really hard when I was 12 or 13.. puberty really hurt but in those days no internet and I did not know what was wrong. My dad would say I was standing like a girl.. and things like boys don't do that... so I learned early on to be a guy and we were well known in sports.. so then I put my whole identity into athletics.. I thought I was the only one in the world like me until I was at a library and brave enough to pick up a book.. at 30ish years old and I cried...
Carrie
I didn't acknowledge it until I was in my forties (even though I began cross dressing at twelve), but looking back on my life it is very clear that the signs were there from about the time I was five years old. When I start therapy my therapist had me fill out a form that chronicled my gender history. The form asked specific enough questions that forced me to take a deep look at myself and my past. One of my earliest memories was tucking my genitals between my legs because I liked the smooth look rather than something dangling there. I don't think I was even old enough to understand that girls had different parts down there than boys did, but I clearly remember not liking what I had and wishing it wasn't there.
Quote from: kg85621 on February 17, 2014, 10:01:57 AM
most people I talk to or read about say they always knew or they knew from a very young age IE 4yr-6yr. I myself think I started to feel different around 11 or 12. Is this age kind of late to have these thoughts?
I first knew I wanted to be female in my mid teens, probably around 14 or 15.
Of course it took another 35 years before I realized that I was transgender.
I started feeling this way when I was about 13, I started looking online soon after and by the time I was 15 I knew.
I was just too scared to do anything about it :(
When I was 9 I was at an all boy's school.Our teacher Miss Bennett made boy's play a girl's part in plays,all the boy's were terrified of being picked(no one said no to Miss Bennett!).I wondered what the fuss was and hoped she'd pick me
4
I think I was three when I first realized someone was wrong. They tried to tell me I was wrong, but nope, I'm never wrong, it was them.
I wanted to wear girls' things when I was 4. I also preferred to play with girls instead of boys. Never dressed until I was 43 (except for the school xmas pageant in 2nd grade when I got randomly selected to be one of the "9 ladies dancing"- OMG, did the kids let me have it. That incident alone may have kept me closeted for an extra decade or so). Once I took the estrogen it was only a matter of weeks before I was finally able to admit to myself that I am truly, undeniably a transsexual and in need of a full transition.
I don't remember those really young years. But in early high school I was cross dressing and spent a lot of time looking at the women's clothing in the Sears catalog. It wasn't until a few months ago that it all made sense and I admitted I was trangender at 56.
Quote from: Kaydee on February 17, 2014, 05:12:43 PM
I don't remember those really young years. But in early high school I was cross dressing and spent a lot of time looking at the women's clothing in the Sears catalog. It wasn't until a few months ago that it all made sense and I admitted I was trangender at 56.
yes, the sears catalog
I myself knew at 14 there was something different about me . I would not say there was something wrong.
Maybe if I was born with fish gills then I would say something was wrong.
There is nothing wrong with us !
I was a very weird kid in the sense that I did a lot of gender bending and dressing up and got the sense that I was different in some way. However, I didn't come to the conclusion that I was meant to be a girl until I was around ten or so.
32. Seriously. :) I consider myself to have been a cis boy who grew up into a trans woman; it happens.
(And yes, I'm fully transitioned including GRS, and beyond thrilled with that.)
Quote from: Kaydee on February 17, 2014, 05:12:43 PM
I don't remember those really young years. But in early high school I was cross dressing and spent a lot of time looking at the women's clothing in the Sears catalog. It wasn't until a few months ago that it all made sense and I admitted I was trangender at 56.
OMG I totally forgot that I used to look through all the female clothing magazines that we used to get in the paper!
I spent years feeling something was wrong. I had little clue as to what. I only really put the pieces together when I was in my thirties. That doesn't mean I didn't hate being called boy, man, etc.. I did. I just never figured out why until recently.
It's crazy ,I've known for a long time some thing was very different with me. but I was too embarrassed to try to ask counselors I've seen in the past about it because I had a severe cross dressing problem. My brain finally just shut down and I got help.
Quote from: Mariax on February 17, 2014, 08:29:15 PM
I spent years feeling something was wrong. I had little clue as to what. I only really put the pieces together when I was in my thirties. That doesn't mean I didn't hate being called boy, man, etc.. I did. I just never figured out why until recently.
Same here, except the feeling I had was that I was different, and I could not put a finger on what the difference was so I eventually just quit worrying about it. It wasn't a strong feeling, but the difference was clearly there, weaving itself into all the aspects of my life.
I only started figuring it out in my mid-40s. Before then I considered myself just to be an average, middle aged, somewhat weird married guy with no friends. With therapy my past became crystal clear and I could see and understand what the difference was.
First memories of gid were when I was 4 I think or maybe 5. It was not wrong for me at the time. The wrong business only came later by the expectations of society. But I noticed something is different. Now I obviously did not understand this whole business at that time. I was not thinking about transitioning before I could read ;D At kindergarden I tried a few times to play with the girls. Lent my mothers clothing for the first time at age seven. And all my life have had the feelings on envy and curiousness about being on the other side. And still much later I am still figuring myself out. But the whole gender business has always been present in different ways.
My entire life, and my first memory, which has never changed, is wearing little girl clothes and playing in my mom's makeup. I was four when I found out, once and for all, that I was a boy. A few years later were when I started praying to wake up as a girl. I haven't thought about the praying much till lately, but when you believe in God and Christ you also believe he can and does do miracles. I'd wake up each day disappointed and sad because I had to live another day with the heart and soul of a girl in the body of a boy. I really don't think anything could be much worse than being transgendered. Most fathers' first question about the brand new baby isn't, 'is it healthy?', it's 'is it a boy or a girl?'
What age did I know someone was wrong? Very early, my parents were pretty good at letting me know I was wrong.