Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Xhianil on February 17, 2014, 11:36:44 PM

Title: want to come out to friend, too scared to
Post by: Xhianil on February 17, 2014, 11:36:44 PM
I want to come out to my best friend, but I'm way too afraid. She's my absolute best friend who thinks I'm a biological girl, she's unknowingly helped me figure out I am female and is a constant help in my life, but her boyfriend acts transphobic and gets extremely jealous, and has tried to get her to stop talking with another MtF cause he sees her as a him. I also wanna come out to her my age, but I don't want  to be seen as a kid by her.
Title: Re: want to come out to friend, too scared to
Post by: Jessica Merriman on February 17, 2014, 11:43:50 PM
I totally understand. I worry she will think it is a betrayal if she figures it out on her own though. I would give her more credit and trust her to handle it OK. Just my opinion though. I had a guy approach me Saturday interested in me, why I don't now, but I told him who I was immediately. He identifies as hetero, but he is interested enough about me to take me out this coming Saturday to learn about me and transition in general. It may lead nowhere, but at least I told him now before things got to the awkward stage. People will surprise you when you least expect it. Show respect and trust and you could be the surprised one. :)
Title: Re: want to come out to friend, too scared to
Post by: Xhianil on February 17, 2014, 11:53:01 PM
I trust her, and I've at least told her I have secrets, but while kinda friends with her boyfriend I don't trust him.
Title: Re: want to come out to friend, too scared to
Post by: Jessica Merriman on February 18, 2014, 12:10:39 AM
Do you think she would tell him if she found out about you or protect you?
Title: Re: want to come out to friend, too scared to
Post by: Xhianil on February 18, 2014, 12:24:26 AM
In the end we all are human, mistakes happen, thing slip. I do it too, its just a matter of time unless you are always wary.
Title: Re: want to come out to friend, too scared to
Post by: Jessica Merriman on February 18, 2014, 12:31:40 AM
I know you will do the right thing for you. I hope when the time does come she accepts you and your friendship only gets better. Good luck baby! ;)
Title: Re: want to come out to friend, too scared to
Post by: Xhianil on February 18, 2014, 12:38:22 AM
I want to tell her, but I'm too afraid too, I'm such a idiot.
Title: Re: want to come out to friend, too scared to
Post by: Jessica Merriman on February 18, 2014, 12:45:30 AM
Quote from: Xhianil on February 18, 2014, 12:38:22 AM
I want to tell her, but I'm too afraid too, I'm such a idiot.
SISTER! Stop that right now. You are my family and you are not an idiot. There will be a day, the right day to tell her and you will. I have complete confidence in you, OK?