So this weekend, my wife went out of town with the kiddo to go visit one of her best friends from high school. I hastily took the opportunity to get into girl mode for a full weekend because well, why not?!
Well when the weekend began, I was hell-bent on getting out into the world as myself and embarking on my first real life experience as a woman. To prepare, I spent a couple of hours getting my wig looking in tip-top shape, making sure I had my outfit picked out and everything was ready to go so I decided it was time. My body is already hairless, so I just did a touch up on my chest, and shaved my face, put on some make-up and was pleased with my look. Tried on a few different shirts after the one I initally picked out just looked bad on me, settled on my look, grabbed my purse and took a quick look in the mirror before I left. Bam! Not even a couple hours after shaving my beard shadow was prominent through the make-up. I tried touching it up, but it just was futile, so I decided today would not be the day I am going out.
So then I figured, "what the heck, I am hungry and dressed up, might as well get some delivery so I can at least interact with a stranger as a woman" and Papa John's had been teasing me with the images of their Double Cheeseburger Pizza so it all just made sense.
Staring in the mirror, for the first time I realized that I when I am in girl-mode I never actually talk! I'm usually alone by myself and am not really big on talking to myself, so I recorded my voice for the first time and played it back. Oh my lord it was awful! I start freaking out knowing that I am going to have to say SOMETHING in the next 30 minutes when the pizza guy gets here with my steaming hot pie. I scour YouTube looking for vocal lessons and start trying several different things. I figure out a way to sound somewhat feminine but almost as silly-sounding as a falsetto voice. The door bell rings. It will have to do!
I open the door, and am greeted by a sweet little lady, probably in her late 50's. She was very polite, and asked me how I was... I just stared at her for a second and then trying to remember how to speak in a voice blurted out "oh I'm good!" in a crackled voice that was reminiscent of my middle-school days. I signed the receipt, fumbled around with my gestures and must have looked like some drug-riddled freak to her, but when she left she said "Thanks, sweetie" and smiled and I felt a little bit better.
It wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but I guess it was a start!
After that I was texting a friend and she decided to call me in response to the text. I got scared and threw my phone because I am just not ready to converse as a female yet and I don't want to use my male voice. So after the weekend I have decided to have a shift in my priorities:
1) VOICE THERAPY
2) Laser Hair Removal
3) Hair transplants
4) Vocal Feminzation Surgery - Yosan magic
5) FFS
6) SRS
Now I am back in guy mode, but I feel more feminine than ever. It was truly a great weekend even if it didn't go quite according to plan. The hormones are definitely doing something, but I don't feel like I have changed too much.
With each small baby step we make, we also make huge leaps to becoming the person we truly are. Congrat's on this huge leap.
Pizza delivery peps see all kinds of things. Encountering a CD wouldn't even make them think twice.
Congrats on finding and having the courage for this huge step forward in your life! See, the world didn't end because someone saw you as YOU. I hope this positive experience bolsters your confidence and allows you even bigger experiences new and exciting. :)