So, if you're living in an apartment or considering it, and you're living full time as your true gender, my questions are, should you inform them (Staff and or manager) of your situation and what are the consequences of doing so? Like, if you're looking for an apartment could you not get it and if living in one, could they kick you out either before or after your contract is up? Is there any legal stand point in which you could go with if they discriminate against you? Lastly, any other kind of stuff you might have to say involving apartments and being trans?
EDIT: So, what about room mates? I mean, how hard is it to find one when they know you're trans and should they be told you're trans and how does one go about that when looking for a room mate? ???
It is not any of their business so I would not say a word. If they ever find out they could kick you out for not paying rent or causing damage though or any other excuses. I doubt they would be stupid enough for doing it because you are trans. :)
I live in an apartment and just started HRT today.
I've never told them or anything, and I have no plans to. It's none of their business whatsoever, and furthermore they shouldn't even care.
As long as you aren't noisy, have no lease violations, and don't burn the place to the ground, in all likelihood they will not care at all that you're trans, or even realize it. As long as you're a good neighbor and pay your bills you could probably be a giraffe for all they care.
I would never tell apartment managers anything about anything. I mean, I never would speak to those people, why would I unless I had to report something for repair or to give them new paperwork?
As far discrimination, in the US plenty of states would make it legal to not renew your lease for being trans, however I don't know in particular where you live so I couldn't really be more specific.
If they were to deny you housing or kick you out because you are trans then it might constitute illegal discrimination on the basis of sex under the Fair Housing Act. I'm not sure though, probably need to ask a lawyer.
Absolutely not. They can make what they will of running my background check and finding out I used to have a different identity.
Nothing needs to be said till you make a legal change in your name. Until that no one needs to know.
Isabell
They can't do anything to you. If they did, you would have every legal right to sue them. I've lived in the same place since 1998. When I changed my name in December of 2008, I informed them of the name change because I was (obviously) changing my name on everything else (bills, etc). They didn't care and were actually very supportive, so it was no big deal.
Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 27, 2014, 06:50:29 PM
They can't do anything to you. If they did, you would have every legal right to sue them. I've lived in the same place since 1998. When I changed my name in December of 2008, I informed them of the name change because I was (obviously) changing my name on everything else (bills, etc). They didn't care and were actually very supportive, so it was no big deal.
Yeah... Well I have to completely disagree with you here based on my personal experience. Depending on which state you live in, and your local state laws, landlords can terminate a lease for any number of reasons. I was renting from a large national leasing company, signed properly executed legal lease, and when my lease came up for renewal (I had been living there for over 5 years as a male) a short time after my legal name change, the management office told me I needed to resubmit my application and needed to perform a new background, employment & credit check on me. Even though they said it was not related to my name/gender change, and told me they were doing the same procedure with all residents after 5 years of leasing due to changes in employment and credit history. The true reason was because someone there didn't like trans-people and had an axe to grind. One of the maintenance guys there told me to my face who it was and why. I never was once late with my rent, lived alone, no kids, no parties, and never had a complaint or any issues there whatsoever in 5 years of living there. Then suddenly they needed a bunch of new detailed info on me, my background, my job, how much I make, tax returns, when my pets were last vaccinated, registrations and insurance on my cars, etc etc. Pure witch-hunt stuff. Just looking for a reason to throw me out. They claimed that since I lived alone I didn't make enough money to live there (not), when I know I made more than 90% of the people living there... including two and three people per unit. When I asked for a written policy stating the precise income level needed to reside there, they refused to provide me anything in writing. They just kept saying I did not make enough and refused to renew my lease. Their legal dept as well. They also acted like completed @$$holes throughout the whole process... old male name, wrong pronouns, jokes under their breath, the whole bit. Could I have fought the good fight, took them to court... maybe. Most lawyers I contacted wanted nothing to do with the case and told me gender discrimination of this sort is next to impossible to prove. If your landlord wants you out, they can find a way. Trust me.
So basically.... yes they can... you can get thrown out and there is little you can do about it. Money is about the best and only equalizer in these cases.
I want to add that your apartment manager probably has much bigger fish to fry than a transsexual living peacefully in their apartment.
There are probably tons of people doing all sorts of violations - smoking in their apartments, smoking illegal herbs in their apartments stinking the place up, being really noisy, sneaking in pets, making modifications to their apartment without permission, etc. I know in my apartment complex, you can't enter the back staircase nearest my apartment without smelling marijuana.
I guess the size of the complex matters too. There are hundreds of people living in mine, and they own another building next to ours, so the managers are generally pretty busy. Either way they really shouldn't care because they just want good tenants, and as long as you are a good tenant, you should never have issues.
If they did this in Australia It would make the national news in no time. We have laws to stop these kind of idiots discriminating against anyone on grounds of gender, sexuality, religion etc.
But back to the point it is no ones business until you decide it is or if you legally change your name.
According to the US Department of Housing and Urban Development, they can't discriminate against you. You're protected under the federal Fair Housing Act. That's not to say they may not try to find a clever way to get rid of you, but I think that would just be silly. Stuff like this does actually happen to some people though.
Telling them is totally your call. Personally, I'm not planning on telling mine until I go FT and/or change my name. It's really none of their business. It's medical & totally personal. IMO it's like disclosing that you have ADD, are gay, or are catholic.
However, if you do choose to tell them and you're discriminated against, you can file a claim online on HUD's website and they'll investigate.
I'm not sure where the OP lives, but I live in California. I moved into my apartment in September and started living full time shortly after. I changed my name legally this month and went to the office to ask them what paperwork they needed. They informed me that they didn't need anything until it was time to renew my lease, at which time they will need a opt of my new ID.
But like everything in out world your results may vary. Best of luck to you whatever you decide to do.
Ok, so varies from state to state but I'd think so long as cannot discriminate against based on sex is the case then people at least have a legal shot even if it is small and hard to prove. Anyway, new questions which I thought about (Though I may be forgetting some) and boy are they a doozy. ;D (I've also added them to the OP post)
So, what about room mates? I mean, how hard is it to find one when they know you're trans and should they be told you're trans and how does one go about that when looking for a room mate? ???
I know some of you watch the show COPS here in the US right. How many times have they been called for a disturbance which involved a trans person living in an apartment compared to cisgeders. I'm not saying they may not be friendly toward you and like someone else said they can find any excuse to terminate the lease. My advice would be to read the lease really carefully in that complaints from neighbors that are not of the disorderly nature can't terminate it or anything else. Try to get a sense of how the landlord thinks of things. Chances are in this day and age, and I know there are exceptions, you shouldn't have a problem as long as your not noisy and destroy the place.
As for the roommate deal, let them know up front or try to seek another transgender for a roommate. Advertise in the paper and then take it from there about telling them. Some may be alright with it, some may be trans themselves and some may insult you and say hell no. But I would definitely be upfront and on the telephone and when and or if they do come to see the place have a friend there just in case. Oh yeah and a background check wouldn't be to bad of a thing, a lot of stuff should be able to be gotten through public records or pay for a sight that does it. I used to see advertising for this all the time and it should be fairly cheap.
As far as the law is concerned, in the U.S. It can vary by state, and if you're in a particularly homophobic / transphobic state I would check out the state laws as it's slightly scary on what is currently happening in parts of the southwest and Midwest. That being said I live in Illinois where management can't discriminate based on gender (being trans is included) and while at this time I'm not pursuing a legal name change I brought up the subject of transition by asking what would be required to change my name on the lease. Since the main office receives my deliveries I couldn't dodge the subject since I now live full time. The property manger was great and they were even able to update my name preferences for official correspondences so my preffered name would be used. But any legal documents such as the lease remain in my old name. So.. I would say feel out the place and go for there.. But as far as roommates go I can't speak to that as I don't currently have any.
I was wondering about this myself.
I moved into my fairly new place last December. It's a brand new building and everything. I've come to know the new primary leasing agent. The leashing office is smack in front of the building so it's not as if I'll never have interaction with management. Let me say my building is pretty much all glass and I stay on the ground floor in the back of the building. I have a front door and a back one that leads out to the parking lot. I've had enough interaction with the maintenance man/ building keeper so avoiding him is a no since he's usually everywhere. He literally knows all the tenants by name so it's not like it's something I can ignore, oh did I mention he lives here also. At some point I think I'll have to interact with management to change my name on my paper work, so it's only a matter of time that they'll see me once I go full time. Also there's no getting around the building keeper since he does everything from clearing snow to delivering packages to my door whenever they arrive. It would be different if I were in a apartment where I naturally had minimal contact with the staff.
I agree with what most everyone said. However, if you are looking for a new room mate, I would tell them to save hardships down the road.
No it's not like owning a dog... nobody has a right to know... D:
Quote from: Jess42 on February 28, 2014, 09:15:04 AMAs for the roommate deal, let them know up front or try to seek another transgender for a roommate. Advertise in the paper and then take it from there about telling them. Some may be alright with it, some may be trans themselves and some may insult you and say hell no. But I would definitely be upfront and on the telephone and when and or if they do come to see the place have a friend there just in case. Oh yeah and a background check wouldn't be to bad of a thing, a lot of stuff should be able to be gotten through public records or pay for a sight that does it. I used to see advertising for this all the time and it should be fairly cheap.
Uhh, now THIS is one thing I meant by, how to go about that? See, it is NOT the general public's need to know nor should they know imo that anyone is trans. outing yourself like that could have serious problems too. (Which is why I'd never do such a thing in the first place and for other reasons obviously) So, exactly how can one go about advertising/trying to find a room mate without letting the general public know? The only thing I was able to come up with is, not mentioning it till you meet them but I have no clue if that's even possible. Like, do people normally say their gender when advertising for a room mate? If so, makes it harder to inform them and, and.. oh I don't know how else to say what I'm trying to say/express/ask but I'm sure some of you know what I mean and such. lol
You could try finding someone in a support group. If there is no one there, I'm sure someone will know a supportive family or friend who needs a room mate as well.
Quote from: Shana-chan on March 01, 2014, 05:19:56 AM
Uhh, now THIS is one thing I meant by, how to go about that? See, it is NOT the general public's need to know nor should they know imo that anyone is trans. outing yourself like that could have serious problems too. (Which is why I'd never do such a thing in the first place and for other reasons obviously) So, exactly how can one go about advertising/trying to find a room mate without letting the general public know? The only thing I was able to come up with is, not mentioning it till you meet them but I have no clue if that's even possible. Like, do people normally say their gender when advertising for a room mate? If so, makes it harder to inform them and, and.. oh I don't know how else to say what I'm trying to say/express/ask but I'm sure some of you know what I mean and such. lol
No you don't have to tell them upfront in the add. While talking on the phone you could mention it. Or that you live an alternative lifestyle and let them go from that. In an add you wouldn't even have to give your name. You can have in it to call first. I would never have them over and then lay it on them without having a friend there just in case. There are a lot of messed up people in the world just on the edge of sanity so always be wary of that. but I see where you are coming from about not knowing how to go about it. In this day and age a lot of men and women are roommates that have no relation other than being roommates.
Quote from: transgressingwaffle on March 01, 2014, 05:24:59 AM
You could try finding someone in a support group. If there is no one there, I'm sure someone will know a supportive family or friend who needs a room mate as well.
That is an excellent idea and probably the way I would go.
In case I forget, thanks everyone for all the advice from past, present and future. ;D
Quote from: transgressingwaffle on March 01, 2014, 05:24:59 AM
You could try finding someone in a support group. If there is no one there, I'm sure someone will know a supportive family or friend who needs a room mate as well.
Quote from: Jess42 on March 01, 2014, 12:15:40 PM
No you don't have to tell them upfront in the add. While talking on the phone you could mention it. Or that you live an alternative lifestyle and let them go from that. In an add you wouldn't even have to give your name. You can have in it to call first. I would never have them over and then lay it on them without having a friend there just in case. There are a lot of messed up people in the world just on the edge of sanity so always be wary of that. but I see where you are coming from about not knowing how to go about it. In this day and age a lot of men and women are roommates that have no relation other than being roommates.
That is an excellent idea and probably the way I would go.
Excellent ideas but for some, there are no friends, no support groups (IRL) and in sme cases no family members either who can be there in those cases. So, the only thing I can think of is to tell them via phone, have back ground checks done as suggested earlier and maybe, if the management is there then they can be there for a meet up. Other than that, I got no idea what else someone can do or how they'd go about looking. Does anyone else have any ideas, tips etc.?
Quote from: Shana-chan on February 28, 2014, 05:57:52 AM
Ok, so varies from state to state but I'd think so long as cannot discriminate against based on sex is the case then people at least have a legal shot even if it is small and hard to prove. Anyway, new questions which I thought about (Though I may be forgetting some) and boy are they a doozy. ;D (I've also added them to the OP post)
So, what about room mates? I mean, how hard is it to find one when they know you're trans and should they be told you're trans and how does one go about that when looking for a room mate? ???
It varies within states too. Here in Indiana transsexual rights to housing are no protected. In my city they're not protected. In the city across the river they are. I would suggest contacting an LGBT legal resource in the area you live to get a firm answer.
As for roommates. At this point my roommate is the only person on earth who doesn't know I'm in transition. And, I don't know how. It should be more obvious to him than anyone. I moved in as a man, and I'm very clearly not anymore. But, we never really talk beyond basic pleasantries when passing. If he ever stops to say "So... what's going on with you?" I'll tell him. But, I see no point in telling him otherwise. He's not family, or a friend, or anyone else who means anything to me in my life. So, as long as he's respectful around the house, and pays his share of the bills, that's the relationship we have, and I don't owe him any "Hey, guess what? I'm becoming a woman!"
What about perhaps advertising for a roommate in an LGBT paper, I remember seeing ads like this in the Washington Blade, I assume it would work or people wouldn't bother paying for ads (I assume they pay since the Blade is given out for free lots of times near my old Metro stop, and they gotta pay for it somehow). Now, if you are worried about someone getting your number just buy one of those ultra cheap prepaid phones for $20 and use that number.
In an LGBT newspaper it shouldn't be a problem to mention being transgender, in fact I would mention it because not every person in the LGB is fine with the T.
That being said all of that only really helps if you even have a local LGBT paper. Not every city does.
FHA protects you and if feel discriminate you can also reach out to your state attorney.
I told my apartment my new name had the change my name. Just so I can get my new name establish on my credit reports just for that simple fact. A name change simply will not change that easily with the credit bureaus.
I honestly had no issues with with apartments when coming out. Felt agitated yes.
Quote from: Shana-chan on March 01, 2014, 06:38:52 PM
In case I forget, thanks everyone for all the advice from past, present and future. ;D
Excellent ideas but for some, there are no friends, no support groups (IRL) and in sme cases no family members either who can be there in those cases. So, the only thing I can think of is to tell them via phone, have back ground checks done as suggested earlier and maybe, if the management is there then they can be there for a meet up. Other than that, I got no idea what else someone can do or how they'd go about looking. Does anyone else have any ideas, tips etc.?
I think that you got the right idea. If you have no one else that can be there then the landlord should be able to help you out with that one. If the person asks just tell them it is policy of the management. Definitely a background check is a must trans or not. Is there not an area around you that has a few LGBT groups or places that GLBT groups frequent? If so advertise in that area but still go through the background check and other precautions.
I just saw what I did with the letters and I can never get the letters right. Is it LGBT, GLBT, BLGT? I think I'm gonna' start using TLGB since the T is me. :D As a matter of fact we should all start using the letter that pertains to us first in the mix and that way no one is last in line.