Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: KamTheMan on March 01, 2014, 03:22:40 PM

Title: Using Her..
Post by: KamTheMan on March 01, 2014, 03:22:40 PM
I'm not that into her but I'm lonely and she knows I'm trans and doesn't care. It's like I'm suddenly in this relationship. At least she's cool and a good kisser. What would you do?
Title: Re: Using Her..
Post by: Adam (birkin) on March 01, 2014, 03:43:08 PM
Hard to say. If she seemed to be on the same page, I'd go along with it. But if she seemed to be way more invested in it than I was, I'd probably cut it off, cause I know how bad it hurts when someone doesn't like you back in the same way that you like them.
Title: Re: Using Her..
Post by: Darrin Scott on March 01, 2014, 03:49:38 PM
Quote from: birkin on March 01, 2014, 03:43:08 PM
Hard to say. If she seemed to be on the same page, I'd go along with it. But if she seemed to be way more invested in it than I was, I'd probably cut it off, cause I know how bad it hurts when someone doesn't like you back in the same way that you like them.

I agree. Be up front about your intentions. If you are not that interested, be honest. No one likes being used and mistreated. If she is still ok with being with you and you not being into her, then more power to you. But I personally feel this isn't a good situation. I find that you need to be ok by yourself and THEN with someone else. I know it's hard when you find someone who accepts you for who you are, but you need to do right by the person you're with too. It isn't just about you because you're trans. You need to be honest with her.
Title: Re: Using Her..
Post by: Kreuzfidel on March 01, 2014, 05:08:30 PM
I'd say end it now, for her sake.
Title: Re: Using Her..
Post by: Arch on March 01, 2014, 05:30:29 PM
I'd start looking for a nice gay or bi man...

All kidding aside. I was thinking about what I would do in a similar situation. The thing is, I'm too hung up over my junk to ever get involved with anyone until I've had a bunch of surgeries--and even then, maybe not.

If you aren't that interested in her, can you "downgrade" the relationship to friendship and get some of what you need that way? Or are you only into the physical stuff? Frankly, this doesn't sound like a win for either one of you.
Title: Re: Using Her..
Post by: KamTheMan on March 01, 2014, 05:34:20 PM
She going back to Peru in less than a month. That's another thing keeping me in it.. I'm 25 and haven't been in a relationship since I was 19. I miss kissing girls.
Title: Re: Using Her..
Post by: Arch on March 01, 2014, 05:36:57 PM
Unless you are planning to follow her to Peru, I don't quite see the problem. It's going to end in a couple of weeks anyway, and you both know it.
Title: Re: Using Her..
Post by: Jared on March 01, 2014, 05:50:06 PM
I'm lonely enough that I wouldn't really care. If it won't last more than a month why would you worry? If it wouldn't be the case than birkin, Darrin and Kreuzfidel gave the right answers.
Title: Re: Using Her..
Post by: KamTheMan on March 01, 2014, 09:14:38 PM
Yea I definitely agree with everyone's opinions. And Arch the physical stuff is definitely hard. She keeps pushing for more and I just don't know if can go there. I haven't had sex since long before my gender issues hit me and I didn't realize how I was going to feel about it until I was in the moment.