Recently the guy I'm seeing has been working through his feelings about me being trans, and asked me about the process other lovers went through to deal with it. I told him I don't really know but I'll try to find out.
So I just got off the phone with the only person I seriously dated while I was transitioning, about twelve years ago now, and who's still a good friend. I asked this question: how did you, as a heterosexual man, come to terms with dating a transwoman?
I'll paraphrase what he said: "Honestly I just forgot about it after a while. I knew you as a boy but once you started identifying as a woman I became attracted to you so I just went for it. And then eventually your history was just not something I actively thought about since we were acquaintances before you transitioned, but my main experience of you is as a woman.
"Until you brought up this question, I actually forgot you were trans. It's not something that I actively think of when I think of you. The only time in the past few years I've associated you with being trans was when I was thinking of your accomplishments, and how you're such a go-getter despite being in a field that's so male-dominated. And then I thought, oh yeah, that's right, you have your history so you have a deeper understanding of what it means to be an ambitious woman."
This reaction was really unexpected to me, especially since we knew each other for at least a year before I transitioned, and I always think it's something he's conscious of when we're together. Apparently not. It'll be good to relay this to my current guy; I might actually have them talk to each other.
Have you asked other people how they perceive you? What did they say?
I have only been Full Time since January 1st, but the other day I was buying a big bag of dog food and one of my friends stopped in at the same time. He carried it out of the store for me without thinking. He already considers me a female without thinking about it. I guess people get used to it faster than we imagine. This has been my only experience this far. :)
That's so awesome Jessica!