As I gear up for surgery and budget my finances, this thought hit me; $28,000 buys me into social acceptance, potentially romance, and happiness.
$28,000-the price for breast, FFS, and SRS. These are the things that will make me acceptable. These are the things that will make me more than just screwable. These are the things that make me more pleasing to the everyday person. With these surgeries I can be placed neatly in a box and judged differently with a new set of rules.
$28,000 buys love and romance. It's buys all the ups and downs that come with it. No, I'm not saying by getting these surgeries I'll instantly find love. I very well may be the pretty cat lady. I very well could meet a man and be killed...the irony...$28,000 makes me a candidate. It's make me be looked at as a viable option when before I was only good enough behind closed doors.
$28,000 buys happiness, or so it seems. It buys all of my wildest dreams. Waking up with no makeup and still feeling accepted, not having to worry if my tuck came undone, not having to find the right shirt for my non-existent breast. FFS, SRS, and BREAST are for me, but more for "them." If they accept me, the world at large, the happier I'll be....right? That's how it works? I can accept myself all day, but at the end of it all, it's their approval I seek.
Think of the hours spent we put into ourselves. The research, the constant planning, wishing, hoping, the disappointments. What an investment we make for love, acceptance, happiness, and a lack of courage. The lack of courage to come as we are. That sounded a bit self-hating....I most certainly don't hate myself, but I hate this lifestyle. I would never wish being Trans on anyone, it's lonely. Unless you have $28,000.
Just a thought that crossed my mind that I wanted to share.
Quote from: Melia02 on March 11, 2014, 08:14:04 AM
As I gear up for surgery and budget my finances, this thought hit me; $28,000 buys me into social acceptance, potentially romance, and happiness.
$28,000-the price for breast, FFS, and SRS. These are the things that will make me acceptable. These are the things that will make me more than just screwable. These are the things that make me more pleasing to the everyday person. With these surgeries I can be placed neatly in a box and judged differently with a new set of rules.
$28,000 buys love and romance. It's buys all the ups and downs that come with it. No, I'm not saying by getting these surgeries I'll instantly find love. I very well may be the pretty cat lady. I very well could meet a man and be killed...the irony...$28,000 makes me a candidate. It's make me be looked at as a viable option when before I was only good enough behind closed doors.
$28,000 buys happiness, or so it seems. It buys all of my wildest dreams. Waking up with no makeup and still feeling accepted, not having to worry if my tuck came undone, not having to find the right shirt for my non-existent breast. FFS, SRS, and BREAST are for me, but more for "them." If they accept me, the world at large, the happier I'll be....right? That's how it works? I can accept myself all day, but at the end of it all, it's their approval I seek.
Think of the hours spent we put into ourselves. The research, the constant planning, wishing, hoping, the disappointments. What an investment we make for love, acceptance, happiness, and a lack of courage. The lack of courage to come as we are. That sounded a bit self-hating....I most certainly don't hate myself, but I hate this lifestyle. I would never wish being Trans on anyone, it's lonely. Unless you have $28,000.
Just a thought that crossed my mind that I wanted to share.
For all of the haters who think we do this for 'kicks'. Amen sister.
You speak the truth.
... what a world...
.... now if only I had $28,000 (or the FTM equivalent).... =p
Sometimes I sit back and am jealous of how much some of my friends know about certain things... Then I realize I have all this knowledge about the trans community. The hours they've had free to browse the internet about whatever I've spent reading up on surgeries and hormones. Sure.. I wish I'd have had the time to learn about some of those things they know, but I know about trans things... I guess its something....
Well it is kinda true...
kinda sad too...
I certainly wouldnt wish being trans on anyone else either.
I guess for about the price of an average car societal norms get to somewhat fade away. :-/
So I am left to wonder is the high price of being me so expensive because I am worth it or because I am worthless?
Yeah I hear you. I think of all the time I've spent, and all the money I have/will spend on this, and it's kind of disappointing. Like, I am young, I should be enjoying my money and time more.
Sad but true, hugs.
If it is what is going to help my depression and quality of life i will suck every last flippin resource out of this world. A sad thing but atleast ill be able to look in a mirror and not want to die.
Quote from: Miyah48 on April 02, 2014, 05:27:08 PM
If it is what is going to help my depression and quality of life i will suck every last flippin resource out of this world. A sad thing but atleast ill be able to look in a mirror and not want to die.
You bet!
Agree,
If anyone thinks this is a choice they are ignorant or just don't want to know the truth. I am giving up a wonderful wife and home in 4 weeks and will support her until she no longer needs me.. meantime, I am going to be living as cheaply as I can.. all that matters now is transition and I suspect in the USA i will spend more like 70k on myself.
I honestly wish I were not a girl.. it was so much easier as a guy.. but I know I can't change my brain.. its been female since I was born.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, I would give every material possession I have or have ever owned and leave everyone I know to look in the mirror and be happy for once in my miserable life. I'm getting closer by the day though.
Christine,
I never once saw a pic of myself I liked unless it was one of the more fem pics when I was younger. I am just now starting to like what I see because I have changed with HRT and the girl is starting to appear..Its an awesome thing to see.
Carrie
Quote from: Christine Eryn on April 11, 2014, 02:01:37 PM
I've said it before and I'll say it again, I would give every material possession I have or have ever owned and leave everyone I know to look in the mirror and be happy for once in my miserable life. I'm getting closer by the day though.