Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: RosieD on March 14, 2014, 03:25:08 PM

Title: Anniversary
Post by: RosieD on March 14, 2014, 03:25:08 PM
So yesterday I was a tad down in the doldrums and wasn't sure what was causing it. It isn't normal for me to be morose, not through any great fortitude of character, I just tend towards bouncy Tigger than glum Eyeore so I needed to work out what was causing the upset as once I know that I can generally find a way out of the blues. It was only after I went rummaging through my email archive on a completely unrelated thing and found the official notice to my co-workers at the time that the penny dropped. A year ago yesterday I went full time and hasn't it flown by.

Does anyone else get a glum around anniversaries of transition milestones? How do you get past them?

Rosie
Title: Re: Anniversary
Post by: Ms Grace on March 14, 2014, 03:27:48 PM
I'll let you know in one year's time! But seriously I wouldn't have thought the one year anniversary of coming out at work would be a glum time, unless it didn't go well...?
Title: Re: Anniversary
Post by: RosieD on March 14, 2014, 04:11:17 PM
Oh there were no problems with work. I planned the whole thing with HR and local management a few months in advan. Wrote a letter that was dedelivered to everyone on my then project on a Friday I worked from home. I came in on the Monday and that was that. The glumness was caused by the need to acknowledge that he had died the same day. Once I had done that, wished him well (with an only half-humorous good riddance) I was back to my usual irritating self.

Rosie

Title: Re: Anniversary
Post by: Ms Grace on March 14, 2014, 04:37:08 PM
I hadn't thought of that angle, but fair enough. Unlike some people going through this process I haven't really had much of a him/her inner battle...although I did feel a bit sad about my male self the other day. I don't hate the male aspect of myself and in male mode I do consider myself a good guy (wow, really I'm actually crying right now!) - and I don't really see the day I go full time as "he dies" and "she is born" but I might have a really different perspective on that in a years time. Thanks for the interesting insight!
Title: Re: Anniversary
Post by: stephaniec on March 14, 2014, 04:48:12 PM
It's kind of different for me too. My maleness died along time ago so it's really not a part of my transitioning, but I understand what you mean.
Title: Re: Anniversary
Post by: stephaniec on March 14, 2014, 05:02:13 PM
On thinking some more I do mourn at times but it's not a fixed point in time
Title: Re: Anniversary
Post by: stephaniec on March 14, 2014, 05:11:37 PM
on thinking some more I guess there was a fixed time when my male self died in public, but it's more of a constant thing then an anniversary , but it happened when I was in high school and people became aware of this part of me. It was like a public death of being male.
Title: Re: Anniversary
Post by: mrs izzy on March 14, 2014, 06:03:48 PM
Yes, every New Years day.

For me it was a very dark day in my transition that first day of the year 2005. It does get better for me as the years pass.

Its true, rock bottom is truly a day that things turn around.

Isabell
Title: Re: Anniversary
Post by: RosieD on March 15, 2014, 01:56:47 PM
Quote from: Ms Grace on March 14, 2014, 03:27:48 PM
I'll let you know in one year's time!
Being a little slow on the uptake, as I generally am, I have only just noticed that you have moved your FT target date forward to Monday week. Congratulations!  And if you don't mind too much I shall be vicariously excited and be crossing everything (twice) that it all goes ship shape and Bristol fashion. Keep us informed or I shall have to fly over the pond to scold you ;-).

Rosie
Title: Re: Anniversary
Post by: Ms Grace on March 15, 2014, 02:26:03 PM
Thanks :) I'm writing a daily countdown commentary here (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,160236.msg1380525.html#msg1380525)... not sure how I'll cover events after that but will certainly be writing about it!
Title: Re: Anniversary
Post by: nikkit72 on March 19, 2014, 07:07:41 PM
Hey ! Happy anniversary. A bit late, but I have been a bit pre-occupied with stuff. Yes, I too get glum around anniversaries, but I have discovered the solution. I celebrate by getting smashed on every other day of the year that is not an anniversary.   ;D

Hope you are all cheered up now though.

Nikki