Hi,
I'm really considering seeing a shrink in hopes that they'll help me figure some stuff out but I'm worried it's just going to turn into me paying £200-250/hour for "how do you feel?" "tell me about your relationship with your parents" yadda yadda yadda (my first suspicion is that he'll blame my thoughts on an absent father which is just some annoying Freud bs). Also I live in the North UK so it seems my options are either hope my GP knows what he's doing and ask to be referred, wait up to 2 years or just pay and go down to London. Either way no legitimate hormone therapy without psychiatry.
Also I'm worried about how to start a conversation with one. "Hi, I think I'm transgender" dressed as a man? Not exactly going to inspire people into taking me seriously if I don't even trust my own convictions and just seems like it'll be an eyeroll moment. The only guy I can find is from a company called gendercare called Dr. Stuart Lorimer (I would be grateful if anyone in the UK can tell me anything about this man, thanks).
I'm just struggling at the minute, every time I go out in public I'm feeling nervous to the point of just locking myself in a room. The anxiety seems less when I can just lock myself away. Even when I convince myself to take action my fears of passing just mess it up anyway and makes me feel a joke.
So really what I'd like to request is just some general insight into how things went for the people who have/are seeing a psychiatrist. Thank you.
The therapy I have had wasn't related to being transgender, but I will say how much it helps of hinders totally depends on what you need. For a few sessions, the therapist wanted to try and help by trying to get me to be positive about my parents, which wasn't at all helpful. She realized this wasn't helping anything, and really had me work on trust issues on people not my parents and that was very helpful... I used to suffer some pretty bad social anxiety and basically after a few sessions with her, and looking at things in a different way I basically overcame it.
I could see however, if she had been stuck on her initial concept that I was the problem in my relationship with my parents and that is what was causing my issues with socializing and trusting, that we wouldn't have got anywhere. She didn't have some strong professional ego, but if she did I would have expected her to do exactly that. In the end, she realized that I was right more or less and my parents were not only the source of the problem in my relationship with them, but she supported my bid to seek emancipation from them. Which with the help of my brother stepping in for legal guardianship I managed to get at the age of 14.
So my point in that whole story is that, if you have the right sort of person I could see it helping dramatically as it did in my case. Honestly, GID, puberty, and a terrible life at home probably would have meant I wouldn't have made it out of my teenage years alive if not for at least a few adults like my therapist listening to me. I am very thankful the school set me up with her even if their reasons where shaky (I wore lots of black, and a pentagram necklace so they thought I was going to shoot the school up or something-I wasn't).
Like most things to do with transition, try it and see if it works for you. If so, continue. If not, it's not the end of the world. One size doesn't fit all, and not everyone follows one path.
My therapist helped. I went in there thinking I didn't need therapy, but it turns out that it was useful. Some of it is the usual "And how does that make you feel?" stuff, but thinking about how it actually does make me feel forces me to be a little more diligent. And some of the therapist's insight is useful.
I see it as more like a safety net. Talking to someone who has seen this stuff before and who can help you confirm your suspicions about who you are.
That said, there are some real quacks out there in with the good therapists, and it's hard to figure out who is who. One man's meat is another man's poison in the therapy game, and what works for me might not work well for you.
And if it's a hoop you've gotta jump through to get to where you want to be, then start jumping!
I would not have changed on thing about my transiton and the professional help i had from my therapist(s). I was lucky and seeked out what i felt was the best in the field of GID. Yes spent $$ out of pocket but was worth single dime.
When it came to my letters i had no issues and they where more then happy to do what was needed.
Isabell
I didn't think I needed Therapy as well. After the first session though I knew I would grow to depend on their impartial view of myself. I use every session now as much as I can. Beside giving me support and sometimes tough love they have thought of things I needed to do during the process I would have never thought about on my own. I plan to see them even after SRS the help is so valuable. It does help to have someone in your corner! :)
How much a shrink helps you depends on you, the shrink, and the problem at hand....
In my case, I saw a nice psychiatrist for half an hour, after which she gave me a letter recommending HRT and SRS.
At that time I have been doing the RLE for over a year. Basically, a few neurosis aside, I am of sound mind and do not suffer from any mental illness. It made it clear to her that I have no doubts or confusions -what so ever- as to what my gender identity is, and that I am a mature and emotionally stable woman.