Hello all. I've been having a few issues lately and I was wondering if anyone has any tips.
First thing, I just turned 23 on Saturday but I still look hella young. It's a big issue with me when trying to date, because when I see a girl out in public that I'm really attracted to, who looks about my age, I can tell she's uninterested because I look to be about 16. Does anyone have any tips for looking older while my facial hair is still in the filling in stages? I'm about 14 months on T and I look older than I did in the beginning I think but I still look really young.
And second thing, I got misgendered again on my birthday and it ruined the morning of my birthday. Does anyone have any tips for me to look more masculine? Like haircuts that would work with my face to make me look more masculine or something. I dress pretty masculine I think.
Thank you guys in advance :)
Here's a photo for reference to my question about haircuts:
Photo taken approximately 5 minutes ago.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fv249%2FxSoxxMessedxxUpx%2FCAM00795_zpsd06ea609.jpg&hash=3c94fb600fe7801601346ea16d6bb09234d74b6b)
Well on the looking older thing the only advice I can give is give it time. Build some muscle if that's what you want, I know working out seemed to help me pass more especially after I got rid of the fat in my face. Try wearing button down shirts instead of tshirts, very few young teens wear these. Wear slacks instead of jeans. That kind of thing on the wardrobe front has helped me, especially since in my line of work I am around high school aged kids constantly. It seems the more professionally I dressed the more years they tacked onto my age.
Personally I've given up on facial hair hah, it's just not in the cards for me. And honestly I have taught 16 year olds at work who have full beards...so yeah. A beard may or may not help you on the age front.
Your face has a lot of the same structure that mine had at about the same point in hormone therapy, I think you may get some more sharpening in your facial features. I did right around 18 months and at 2 years it's very noticeable and has helped me pass quite a bit. Running helped me slim my body fat down and I'm sure this probably helped with the general fat reduction.
For haircuts I'm not much help since I tend more toward alternative and different hair styles. I pass better with longer hair and like longer hair so I have an undercut with a longer than usual crown. So far this has been the best hair style for me, I get the length I like and still pass since it's mainly a man's hair style. Short sides and back, and normally tapered from side length to crown. Mine is usually shaved on the sides and back and then long, no taper (very drastic length variation). Short on the sides and longer on the top seemed to be the key passing combinations from all my past haircuts. Try styling products if you want, try combing your hair differently. I started combing my hair forward and to the right instead of the left and all of the sudden it seemed (back when I first did it) I passed flawlessly. It was pretty interesting hah. Maybe cismen are more likely to comb their hair to the right? :P
ETA: Oh and a side note about facial piercings (I did have them...snake bites, ears in several places, eyebrow and an industrial.) you might need to play with the type of jewelry you wear. I had the best luck with plain titanium rings, black (I passed the best with black), and studs. I've since retired all my facial piercings to look more professional, except for a single small skull stud on one ear. And sadly I hate to break to you but I started passing more easily and as older once I took out my lip piercings and again once I took the rest out, minus the single stud on my ear. The rest of my piercings aren't visible so I kept them. I know piercings are hard to take out, and I love them!, but I made the choice to try it. I've noticed that around here guys that have piercings are very minimalistic unless they work in a very artist field or tattoo shop. I recently got my tongue pierced and so far it hasn't affected my passing. There might be hope for getting more piercings later but for now I like passing easily and as close to my real age so it was the sacrifice I made. Try different styles of jewelry and see if it helps you out.
And also it helps to learn to ignore the masses if they misgender you. It's not your fault they're wearing gender blinders. :)
Thank you for your response. As far as my attire goes, I work a full time office job so I usually dress pretty business casual (khakis, button down shirts, polo shirts) and I never really do anything outside of work so that's usually all people ever see me in. I do need to up my wardrobe choices for my free time though, as it's mostly band tees and jeans lol. I have seen 16 year olds with beards as well but it makes them look older. I think the facial hair I'm growing might not help my case since it looks like a very young man's facial hair. I just don't like not having it though, it makes me feel more comfortable. My sideburns look alright and I grow a little chin patch, but it's all curly and not full yet.
I would like to start doing more cardio, I just have to figure out what I'm capable of doing because I have a bad hip, knees, and back. I walk to and from the bus stop 5 days a week and since starting that in January, I've already slimmed down a bit. It's just not good for my hip because if I walk too much it gets way too painful.
I usually keep my hair short on the sides and back and the top longer, brushed off to the right side, I think I just need to find a good barber to cut it right because they specialize in men's hair and usually when I go in to a regular place for a cut, they shave off my sideburns without asking and make my head look odd lol!
And as for my piercings... I'd consider taking them out but idk... They've been a big part of me for nearly 10 years now and I just love having them, I don't feel right without them in, so perhaps I will consider different jewelry styles for them.
Have you thought of swimming for cardio? It's low impact and my sister does it and like you she has a very bad hip and knees. Or gyms usually have low impact cardio machines. If you have a Planet Fitness or something like that they are membership free gyms, pay as you go.
Yes I know what you mean about hair cuts. Finding someone who's good at not making us look like a girl or a kid is a challenge. When the lady that was cutting my hair left where she was working I gave up and had my sister help me cut mine since I had an idea of how to do it.
I am with you on the piercings. I miss mine and my face feels naked but it was a choice I had to make. Like you I'd had many of my piercings for 10 years or more when I took them out. I just switched to tattoos... :laugh: One thing I did try before removing them completely was wearing retainers (the clear ones) just to see if it could help. I also looked around online and locally to see what other guys in my age group with piercings were wearing.