Told my folks today... it went really well! Certainly better than I expected and they are both understanding and supportive (we'll see if they still feel that way when the shock wears off).
I explained to them about my melt down in February last year and that after discussing it with medical professionals it became clear I still had "gender dysphoria" (don't like the phrase myself, but it helped to frame it for them). I stressed that I loved them, that I didn't arrive at the decision lightly but I couldn't continue to live my life as a man that I needed to live as a woman. My mum held my hand the whole way through (especially once my waterworks started flowing, and they were really flowing at this point!).
But they listened as I explained what I was doing, that I would be starting work next week as Grace, that work and friends were very supportive, that I passed well (& showed them pictures to prove it!) and they never once got upset or angry or ridiculed anything I said. My mother had to acknowledge that as a child I had never liked playing rough games with other boys, and that she had kind of wondered if I had ever really "given up" on my first transition. My dad was pretty stoic but said he was completely supportive of whatever I decided to do. He even let me hug him!
My mother said "I guess I have two daughters now" and I said "you always have" and she smiled and nodded. So happy!
So I will be going to my niece's birthday gathering after all (it's actually a joint thing for her and a belated one for me). I will be going in guy mode though as my sister and kids don't know yet, will talk to her at the end and then decide on the best way to tell the kids if she is open to it. Knowing my folks are supportive might help her feel OK about it.
Phew! What a massive, massive day!
Totally rockin' Ms Grace 8) Proud of ya Sis
Hugs
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Thanks ladies! :D
Quote from: AlyssaL on March 21, 2014, 01:14:43 PM
I am sure you feel much better now that you don't have that heavy cloud hanging over your head.
Oh yeah, you have no idea.if I was actually feeling quite zen about it beforehand. Once I'd made the phone call to arrange a visit I suddenly felt quite calm. "Come what may" and "All will be well" were the two things I told myself if nerves flared up. Getting it out was the hardest part, not because of fear, but just because it felt so painful to speak my truth. I certainly started crying, but kept going. Once it was out I felt so much relief it was unbelievable.
My mother did ask if my shrink had said "what causes it" (ie "what did she do wrong?") - ti told her it was innate, that nothing causes it, it's just the way I was born, which they both seemed to accept.
That's great! Have fun at the party :)
I reckon you need a new profile pic as I bet ure smile is twice the size now !!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I am so happy for you and your parents response to you.
Thanks all!
I'll be seeing my folks again tomorrow, no doubt they'll be early to the cafe and my sister will be a bit late, so that will give me a bit of time to test and see if things have gone weird between us. Hopefully not but I'm mindful of the stories from others who have initially had sincere parental support only to see it evaporate along the way.
I'm very happy for you and I am super happy that your parents accepted you very well! It's amazing when you can stop hiding who you are, even when you are not wearing female clothes. I am behaving much more freely now, even when I am trying to be who I was..
Good for you. I'm sure you feel so much better about yourself. Family is so important to everyone.
I am close to my folks and sister and her three kids, see them regularly throughout the year...birthdays, major public holidays like Xmas and Easter. My brother not so much, three hours a year is the most really, he shows no interest in what's going on in people's life and it's a major effort to pry anything about his from him.
I've supported my folks either by phone or in person, especially when sick or there's a family crisis or a major life event. I show an interest in their life and they in mine (although my father is a distant person he does at least care). So I guess what I'm saying is that it hasn't always been about me, me, me... I'm not a drama for them...it's nice to see that my folks can reciprocate when I'm having my own crisis.