Hello there. I'm am the father of a mtf transgender 10yr old..........
My daughter has always acted like a female since she was very young (around 3) and only has been dressing the part for two years after I switched her school so she could start fresh as a girl. I cant imagine the inner struggles she has within herself and this site looks like it will be helpful for myself as well.
I'm going through some issues with the school (bathroom situation), family members, neighbors ect, and it's so hard to protect her from this cruel cruel world. To be completly honest, I was so against it in the beginning and wanted to force her into being the boy that her birth certificate says she is. What a mistake..... I almost lost her love.
I'm still not perfect and sometimes slip up and say "him and he" and she quickly corrects me. I say "I'm sorry" and give her a hug and I think she understands it's hard for me too. I'm really scared about how she will be treated in her teenage years if any of her classmates find out when she wants to date in a few years. Just like her, I struggle daily to know what to do and how to handle certain situations.
Thanks for listening and hopefully I can learn to be the best dad I can be through the eyes of you.
Hi Dad, and welcome to Susans! We have people come to visit us from all over the world, expressing different points of view, and you are likely to find someone to help you along your way :) Here are some important links and things to ponder as you begin your journey here.
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
I'm privileged to help as a support therapist for families with young gender incongruent children. Thank you so much for being a Dad to your daughter. She needs you, she won't say it though!
I'm in Australia, if I can help please let me know, but it sounds as if you are doing great.
Hugs
Cindy
Quote from: Supportive Dad on March 21, 2014, 06:48:38 AM
Thanks for listening and hopefully I can learn to be the best dad I can be through the eyes of you.
Oh. My. God. Best dad ever!
I wish I had the opportunity to live my life as it should be since I was that young. I didn't have.
While I second that she will never let you know how great you are, I bet she already realised. And she will love you forever for what you already give her. Just continue to improve and she will not mind any slipping at all.
Agree, we should give you a medal for it "BEST DAD EVER"
I just wanted to thank you. You're making that little girl's life a million times easier than it would have been if you weren't so accepting and supportive. I can only imagine how much better my life would have been if my father had allowed me to be myself when I was a child, and I hadn't had to deal with decades of repression that turned me into a bitter, angry person and almost ended in suicide.
Hi Dad :D ... Alright with you?
Wow ... congratulations on the great father you are ... I say this, because I'm living in reverse ... in my case, is my daughter who knows the "Sttefanne" :laugh: ...
I strongly believe that in the future, your report will be followed by several people... because what must prevail is the love between people ...
I wouldn't say I'm the greatest dad in the world, but one thing is for sure.............I love her too much to let her go through this alone. This has to be the greatest emotional struggle one could ever go through. I raise my glass to all of you that keep going and hold your head up high everyday .
As a kid who was terrified from speaking about anything regarding gender issues after learning that it wasn't acceptable in my home, I can tell you from experience having a supportive and understanding parent, especially one who is willing to learn and seek out a better understanding of their awesome child, is one of the single most amazing and important things.
:)
You're a damn good dad, and in some alternate dimension where I'm actually a guy and might have kids, I hope that me is half as good of a dad as you
Dad of the century!! ;D
I am so glad you are supportive of your daughter. I cant tell you how many HAPPY tears fell as I read your story. She can enjoy life now and not live for 40 years being forced to assimilate as the wrong gender like I did. Congrats Dad!! :)
SD! I must commend you on your bravery and your menschlichkeit. As a small comfort to you, the world is a much less cruel place than it was when I was 10, for transgender individuals. Your daughter will grow up the way I wished I could, God bless you, and yes, she will go through some rough patches, but I'll bet that they will be more like the rough patches every other girl goes through, thanks to your foresight and understanding. You have given her her life. When, like other adolescents coming to the age of reason, she does finally grow a brain, she will know and comprehend what you did for her. (Does this sound like I grew some teenagers? Yep, did that...) In the mean time, know that she loves you and always will, even when she says, "GET OUT OF MY LIFE! ...but erm... can you give me a lift to the mall first? ...and um... can I have forty bucks?"
Quote from: EllieM on March 21, 2014, 02:38:13 PM
even when she says, "GET OUT OF MY LIFE! ...but erm... can you give me a lift to the mall first? ...and um... can I have forty bucks?"
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No kidding Ellie! ;D
;)
Quote from: Supportive Dad on March 21, 2014, 12:58:01 PM
I wouldn't say I'm the greatest dad in the world, but one thing is for sure.............I love her too much to let her go through this alone. This has to be the greatest emotional struggle one could ever go through. I raise my glass to all of you that keep going and hold your head up high everyday .
You rock dude 8) Good on ya
wow. You are pretty amazing.
I just wanted to let you know that I think what you are doing for your daughter - being her dad, and loving her for who she is- is the most wonderful gift you can give her! My parents have decided to remove themselves from my life due to me being transgender. It has completely turned my life upside down. I think you are a wonderful example for all parents out there, thank you!!!
Just wanted to throw my two cents in- you rock, dude. We need more Dads like you in the world. Then it would be a kinder, gentler place. Just keep doing what you're doing. Your daughter is going to have such an awesome childhood with your guidance. :)
Wow Dad, I think you are amazing. I don't know of to many girls on here that have been privileged enough to have a truly supportive father. Your little girl is very lucky and you should always be proud that not only does she have the courage to be who she is (because of you) but you are a big enough man to support her. Keep up the good work and remember you can always look here for advice and support. This is an amazing supportive site. You are always welcome to share your thoughts and questions. Once again I just have to say you are amazing and I know you inspire many to be the bigger person in uncomfortable situations. Thank you for posting because you made my day already.
Welcome to Susan's, Dad. It's wonderful that you are supportive of your daughter. It's important to do your research and ask questions that you may have.
:)