Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: LittleEmily24 on March 21, 2014, 11:09:23 AM

Title: Transitioning and an Unexpected bad time..
Post by: LittleEmily24 on March 21, 2014, 11:09:23 AM
I'm in trouble..... I started transition and I'm not turning back for nothing.

Here's the problem: My parents own a shipping company which i work for, and we primarily ship things to venezuela... As i'm sure you're all aware.. things over there are really bad and my parents are not making any money... they told me and my big brother to start looking for a new job because one more month of how things are now, and they will have to sell the company.... Things in Venezuela are only getting worse and wont get better in such a short time...

Bigger problem: I'm in Florida (Miami to be specific)... surrounded by closed-minded, gawking hispanics who wouldn't know the difference between a transgender person and a lamp post, and this lack of knowledge results in dislike. Down here... I can get refused a job for any reason and discrimination down here is often masked by "we don't like you" and they arent legally required to go into detail either.... I'm very worried right now because my paycheck pays the majority of the bills... I'm also worried for my parents because they are un-hireable at their age....

I don't know what to do...

P.S. does anyone know if ENDA was passed? I can't seem to find information on that... I know it will make little difference in Miami since (like i said) they can deny you or fire you for whatever reason they want so long as its not blatantly and outwardly discriminant...

I feel like I started my transition at the worst possible time... I didn't expect things to get this bad.. none of us did. Maybe I just need some reassuring words but honestly I'm drawing a blank and crying... I couldn't find a job for 3 years when I was male... I can't imagine how much more difficult its going to be now...
Title: Re: Transitioning and an Unexpected bad time..
Post by: mrs izzy on March 21, 2014, 11:14:35 AM
Quote from: LittleEmily24 on March 21, 2014, 11:09:23 AM
I'm in trouble..... I started transition and I'm not turning back for nothing.

Here's the problem: My parents own a shipping company which i work for, and we primarily ship things to venezuela... As i'm sure you're all aware.. things over there are really bad and my parents are not making any money... they told me and my big brother to start looking for a new job because one more month of how things are now, and they will have to sell the company.... Things in Venezuela are only getting worse and wont get better in such a short time...

Bigger problem: I'm in Florida (Miami to be specific)... surrounded by closed-minded, gawking hispanics who wouldn't know the difference between a transgender person and a lamp post, and this lack of knowledge results in dislike. Down here... I can get refused a job for any reason and discrimination down here is often masked by "we don't like you" and they arent legally required to go into detail either.... I'm very worried right now because my paycheck pays the majority of the bills... I'm also worried for my parents because they are un-hireable at their age....

I don't know what to do...

P.S. does anyone know if ENDA was passed? I can't seem to find information on that... I know it will make little difference in Miami since (like i said) they can deny you or fire you for whatever reason they want so long as its not blatantly and outwardly discriminant...

I feel like I started my transition at the worst possible time... I didn't expect things to get this bad.. none of us did. Maybe I just need some reassuring words but honestly I'm drawing a blank and crying... I couldn't find a job for 3 years when I was male... I can't imagine how much more difficult its going to be now...

ENDA still is stuck

If any place you apply is a EEOC there in flordia you have protections.


Title: Re: Transitioning and an Unexpected bad time..
Post by: LittleEmily24 on March 21, 2014, 12:58:42 PM
How would i know?
Title: Re: Transitioning and an Unexpected bad time..
Post by: suzifrommd on March 21, 2014, 01:03:18 PM
There are a lot of large companies that have anti-discrimination protections for trans people. You can usually look up on a company's website and they'll tell you about their policies.

Of course that won't stop some ape of a hiring manager from taking one look at you and decide not to hire you because you creep him out.
Title: Re: Transitioning and an Unexpected bad time..
Post by: mandonlym on March 21, 2014, 01:07:21 PM
Do you have to disclose if all your legal documents are in your new name or is passing the issue?
Title: Re: Transitioning and an Unexpected bad time..
Post by: LittleEmily24 on March 21, 2014, 01:40:27 PM
I dont necessarily pass 100% just yet, you can see a picture in the before and after thread that I posted the other day (mind you i was without makeup though).

My name change hasn't gone through yet, still in the process. But anyone who sees me.. or rather... HEARS me... won't be fooled... my voice isnt horribly deep... in fact its not deep at all.. but its painfully male.
Title: Re: Transitioning and an Unexpected bad time..
Post by: vlmitchell on March 21, 2014, 04:06:03 PM
Short answer: honey, if you want it bad enough, you can do anything but my honest answer is that, if things are going like they are now and your parents need to sell the company, you'll want to move to a better/friendlier environment for trans peeps if you have to pick up and look for a new job while continuing transition. NYC/Atl/SF/LA/Seattle/Portland are my choices for 'if I need an easier time of getting a job, go here.'

Basically, the rest are correct, in that ENDA is definitely stalled in congress. That said, so long as you have a letter from your therapist, trans discrimination is covered under Title VIII workplace discrimination with the Federal-Level EEOC rules as 'discrimination based on sex' and thus, you have coverage but it's tenuous at best and, for anything low-paying, wouldn't be worth the cost of litigation (which is notoriously difficult as proving trans discrimination is a bitch in the first place.)

Also: Go back and finish school. Really. Higher education = Not having to worry about discrimination so much.
Title: Re: Transitioning and an Unexpected bad time..
Post by: Ms Grace on March 22, 2014, 02:36:06 AM
Have to say I wasn't aware of what was going on in Venezuela (most international news in Australia is all Crimea/Ukraine/Russia and the missing Malaysian aircraft at the moment), so I'm sorry to hear about your folks situation and the predicament it leaves you in. :(

Obviously can't offer you any info on Florida and US anti-discrimination but I hope you can find an organisation or business that is open minded and supportive. :)
Title: Re: Re: Transitioning and an Unexpected bad time..
Post by: brianna1016 on March 22, 2014, 03:32:35 AM
Stop worrying! Prepare yourself as much as you can. But more importantly, trust that the universe is going to put you exactly where you're supposed to be.
Title: Re: Transitioning and an Unexpected bad time..
Post by: Kim 526 on March 22, 2014, 08:31:23 AM
Boston is also a safe city. Look in monster.com for NYC/Atl/SF/LA/Seattle/Portland/Boston jobs; depending on what you do it might be a gold mine for you. Best wishes and best of luck! Hugs, Kim
Title: Re: Transitioning and an Unexpected bad time..
Post by: Paulagirl on March 22, 2014, 08:45:35 AM
I certainly hope for the best. You're stuck in a bad situation.
Concerning anti discrimination legislation- there is no such thing. Any HR person in the entire world can refuse you a job by saying you didn't interview well. Absolutely legally. As long as he didn't say, and you can prove it, 'Our company doesn't hire any of you disgusting, perverted ->-bleeped-<-s' he is free and clear. Sad but true.
Title: Re: Transitioning and an Unexpected bad time..
Post by: odysseus513 on March 22, 2014, 11:46:30 AM
Florida is tough, right to work states on the whole are bad for discrimination, but Florida more so than most. I'm a senior manager in West Palm and can't count how many people I've fired with "its just not working out" as the sole justification. To make it worse, if your background is shipping (logistics) its an even less tolerant situation. Unless your completely passable, I would go to a different area.