Theres a guy whom i had met online and he asked me out. Im not sure if i want to "go out" with him but if i do i want to know something.
Should i tell him im trans before so hes not "surprised"?
Emo you will get a hundred different answers to this one. I can only tell you what I personally do and that is tell them the first chance you get. I do this when someone shows interest and before they ask me out. I don't want to risk violence if they happen to be a person with strict preferences. I think it safe to do it this way and gives them a chance to reconsider and save face or discomfort. I know a lot of people here don't believe we have to disclose, but dating could lead to a relationship and I don't want to start one on misleading someone. Relationships are about trust and if you are found out down the line it could be disastrous to that relationship. Last thing is to meet an online date somewhere very public because you don't know who is online or really what they look like or are capable of. Have fun of course, but take steps to protect yourself. I would miss you around here! :)
I'd say something beforehand. If he still wants to see you, great, if not, at least you didn't waste your time going out with him. But ya, I believe honesty is the best policy.
It's difficult. You have to weigh up this for yourself.
If you do they might not have the chance to consider you as a woman first.
If you don't they may take it as a deceit. I suppose if they are open minded enough to go out with a train person without being overwhelmed by issues this throws up in their mind then they should appreciate it's not a deceit.
If you kiss them then that's different again. Non disclosure of trans status before even so much as kissing, is a criminal offence in some places.
I think a date or two before anything happens is a good amount of time to let somebody consider you as a woman before disclosure but that's me.
I think I'd tell someone on the second date, provided I felt I was passable. I tried telling someone on the first date, and she unexpectedly said she didn't want to see me again. If I tell them on the second date and they decline a third, at least I know that being trans is likely the reason.
Haven't actually ever had a second date, so I don't know how well this will work...
Thanx guys.
I told him. I doubt hes speaking to me again but i really do appreciate the help.