I felt incredibly nervous out. Someone stopped to ask me for change and then asked me why I was wearing a skirt. Good thing a friend turned and said 'because SHE wants to.' But it's left me feeling terrified. I dont know if I can present this way in public. It made my stomach turn walking home
at least you tried.
you definitely have more courage than me.
i cant even buy tights let alone wear them.
try to ignore all of them
wear tights!
Ignore them
just do what makes you feel comfortable
I agree with everyone, ignore them. I mean, if someone says your head looks weird on your shoulders are you going to leave it at home also? It is no ones concerns what you wear, how or why. Live YOUR life for you, not everyone else. People will find something wrong with us all the time. :)
Do your best to ignore them as everyone has said. Remember that a lot of the time, its all in your head with what you think people will see you as. My biggest concern out in a skirt and then dress wasn't if I could pass or not (Had plenty of those times though) but whether people would see something sticking out or not because, I haven't ever tapped (Or whatever it's called) before so it was quite nerve racking and also I had to do something to keep it from showing which wasn't too pleasant but I had a lot of fun still. Also, least you have someone, a friend in this case who would call you a she and mean it and defended and stuck up for you. lol Many of us don't have such a friend let alone anyone. lol So don't worry about it too much.
I am less than two months into HRT, and the feminization effects have been pretty minimal so far. I am probably not even going to attempt female clothing out in public until I am guessing I am about 6 months in. To me, wearing a skirt in public is the ultimate transition statement, but I suspect that is a pretty long ways off right now (sigh). Ironically, my legs right now are far by far my feminine feature.
Quote from: April Lee on March 31, 2014, 05:41:00 PM
Ironically, my legs right now are far by far my feminine feature.
Then use them! This is so skirt season. ;)
Stepping stones. Maybe try toning it down slightly (whatever that would mean to you) and then slowly add things back as you become accustomed to them. Confidence will go a long way in terms of your acceptance as a female in society.
All things considered, just make sure you feel comfortable in your get-up. That is key! Clothing has a very transformative effect. Perhaps you pushed yourself a little too far and became slightly self conscious in the moment? If so, that is okay. You have to start testing the waters somewhere :) Don't let it get you down!
Quote from: jaybutterfly on March 31, 2014, 12:52:35 PM
I felt incredibly nervous out. Someone stopped to ask me for change and then asked me why I was wearing a skirt. Good thing a friend turned and said 'because SHE wants to.'
Excellent answer.
I've found that if I give a simple answer, on the assumption that people are simply curious and not trying to put me down, I almost always get a positive response. In fact, I find I need to (non-verbally) cue them that they're not making a faux pas by asking.
Mind you, I wasn't that confident at the beginning. I started out with plain denim skirts and only wearing them outside in the early morning, before sunrise, when not many people are out. With each step, I discovered that most people either don't notice or don't care, and most of the ones who do show some response are positive. It's been as much a matter of me not moving any faster than I feel comfortable as anything else.
Quote from: Jennygirl on March 31, 2014, 05:56:11 PM
Stepping stones. Maybe try toning it down slightly (whatever that would mean to you) and then slowly add things back as you become accustomed to them. Confidence will go a long way in terms of your acceptance as a female in society.
All things considered, just make sure you feel comfortable in your get-up. That is key! Clothing has a very transformative effect. Perhaps you pushed yourself a little too far and became slightly self conscious in the moment? If so, that is okay. You have to start testing the waters somewhere :) Don't let it get you down!
^ this
The first time I went out in public in a skirt I was wishing 15 minutes later that I hadn't worn it, and within 30 minutes I was having a full blown panic attack about it. I was on my way to a therapy session so there was no time to turn around and go back home to take it off. I survived and went straight back home afterward and yanked it off, thinking "never again" :P
Several months later I am far more confident in girl mode and I went out all day on a recent Sunday with a girlfriend wearing a skirt and thought nothing of it.
Maybe like me you just need to work up to it in little steps?
An outing isn't exactly a roadblock, even if it makes you feel miserable. I wear skirts about 98% of the time...okay maybe 97% (trying to tally certain farm chore days and working on car days...) I can guarantee in the early days my appearance was much more androgynous that passing, and that didn't stop me, though I did avoid my "regular" locales until later in transition.