Well I have been here for a bit now and really haven't seen to much chatter to the subject of un-learning masculine behavior. Yea there have been tid-bits here and there but nothing specific. So here I am at 56 years old and have spent 45 of those trying to fit in as a guy... Believe me the mask is hard wired pretty good too. So here I am, I have finally accepted the fact that guy modes isn't working and has drove me almost to extinction. I say almost because three month ago It actually got to where it was being considered. Anyway, not wanting this I got myself into therapy and Veronica was born. That said I really do like her very much and not real fond of the other person but coping.
So here is my question... I have spent 45 years or so learning to hide my femininity and now that I am coming out. (Slow but sure) How did you girl un-learn all the behaviors you put up trying to fit into your male counterpart???
Hmmm...Well if you are talking about "behaviour" in a subconscious body language context...I am still working on that right now (see my ongoing in depth analysis of the differences between "male" and "female" hugging ^^') but in general I found the greatest help for me so far has just been lots of mirrors!
Yes we all hate mirrors to some degree or another...because lets face it, we really dislike what we see most of the time.
But I have found that by buying lots of mirrors of various sizes (from full length to desktop ones) and strategically placing them around my home, I can often quickly catch a glimpse of myself and my motions out of the corner of my eye. If I realise I am moving or acting in an overtly masculine manner I can stop, realise what I am doing and why, and then "correct" it.
That's been the best thing for me...and it makes your rooms look bigger and brighter too boot! :D
Like anything, I would expect that practice make perfect. Perhaps when you're out and about
you could take notice of the mannerisms of cis females. There are a wealth of references on the net.
Here are a couple of links you may find helpful :icon_biggrin:
http://www.tgtoday.com/howto/howto.shtml
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usrs6cm2vQg&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8Veye-N0A4
Going from faking male behavior to faking female behavior is not a great improvement. Learn to relax and realize who you really are. It's not possible to turn things around rapidly. After you realize that you are most definitely NOT male, the rest will follow naturally. Be patient, time will make things right.
Randi
Quote from: Veronica M on April 01, 2014, 08:50:12 AM
So here is my question... I have spent 45 years or so learning to hide my femininity and now that I am coming out. (Slow but sure) How did you girl un-learn all the behaviors you put up trying to fit into your male counterpart???
Quote from: Randi on April 01, 2014, 11:35:43 AM
Going from faking male behavior to faking female behavior is not a great improvement. Learn to relax and realize who you really are. It's not possible to turn things around rapidly. After you realize that you are most definitely NOT male, the rest will follow naturally. Be patient, time will make things right.
Randi
That actually make a lot of sense Randi... I consider that to be very sound advice. And believe me I know for fact that I am not male with the exception of this appendage between my legs. Just took me a long time to admit it to myself. Never the less It's not like I am desperate to get rid of it, but yuck... LOL... Don't get me wrong, I love it on a guy but it is not me for sure. Anyway thank you everyone for your words of advice. Any other tips are more than welcome.
Hugs
I found that after a few years on HRT the dysphoria virtually disappeared. The need for SRS can be greatly diminished after a while. More and more transwomen are finding it's not really necessary for them.
Quote from: Veronica M on April 01, 2014, 11:46:57 AM
I am not male with the exception of this appendage between my legs
Quote from: Randi on April 01, 2014, 12:17:25 PM
I found that after a few years on HRT the dysphoria virtually disappeared. The need for SRS can be greatly diminished after a while. More and more transwomen are finding it's not really necessary for them.
I guess I should have rephrased that a little as I have not come out completely yet, but inside I am very much female. It's losing the all the crap I have learn trying to be a guy that I am trying to lose.
Early on during my meltdown that finally prompted my transition, I just couldn't bear to fake it anymore. My walk was fake, my voice was fake, my mannerisms were mostly fake. When I became conscious of this fact, all of the pieces started to fall into place. One of the first things I had to do to remain sane was to stop the dudely act and just do what came naturally. It wasn't a complete relief, but it helped a lot. Once I was able to strip away the facade, what remained was the real me. Some things that are generally perceived as masculine behavior survived the cut. It turned out that I legitimately liked sports, heavy metal, fixing things and playing in bands.
Same monkeys, different barrel.
Hi Veronica,
Quote from: Veronica M on April 01, 2014, 08:50:12 AM
So here is my question... I have spent 45 years or so learning to hide my femininity and now that I am coming out. (Slow but sure) How did you girl un-learn all the behaviors you put up trying to fit into your male counterpart???
The answer is not "unlearning" previous behaviours. You have 45 years of repressed thoughts feelings and emotions, that once released through you acceptance of who you really are, will take over from the non genuine male behaviours. The slower you accept the inevitable the slower the uptake of your new and proper experiences.
This is where you'll need to concentrate and "feel" these emotions and feelings take their place. At times you may have to "give yourself permission" to feel awkward/strange in adopting these new experiences.
The more you allow yourself to
feel these changes, the better you will present yourself and increase your self respect.
Embrace and enjoy.
Huggs
Catherine
One fun part for me was learning to cook, setting a nice table with candles. Having dinner with a man as a normal woman would. You should try that sometime. Don't forget the apron while cooking, dress nice & cook away. Maybe bake a cake. Just have fun, enjoy your feminine side.
And nails, nails, nails. Women do not do their nails as much these days, but so many mannerisms come from how one works with long, flawlessly painted nails. So much changes, without affecting your own behavior, and they are necessicary adjustments, if you simply grow and paint your nails.
Quote from: FrancisAnn on April 01, 2014, 09:52:37 PM
One fun part for me was learning to cook
I always thought I hated cooking, baking or doing housework of any kind unless it involved power tools. Wrong. These were tasks I once resented because they were nothing more than big fat dysphoria triggers to me. Doing (and yes, this is sexist and lame) what I once perceived as feminine activities but not being able to express femininity at the same time made me very angry and frustrated. I think learning to enjoy feminine things without guilt or frustration is just as important as dropping the old guy facade when it comes to squeezing the most happiness out of my life.
Yeah Jill!
I am amazed at how guilt free these new hobbies of mine are.
Who'd've thunk I would like to shop and play with makeup? Shoes! OMG shoes.
Quote from: Catherine Sarah on April 01, 2014, 09:42:42 PM
The answer is not "unlearning" previous behaviours. You have 45 years of repressed thoughts feelings and emotions, that once released through you acceptance of who you really are, will take over from the non genuine male behaviours. The slower you accept the inevitable the slower the uptake of your new and proper experiences.
This is where you'll need to concentrate and "feel" these emotions and feelings take their place. At times you may have to "give yourself permission" to feel awkward/strange in adopting these new experiences.
The more you allow yourself to feel these changes, the better you will present yourself and increase your self respect.
This make a lot of sense... In the last few months, I have been doing exactly that. LOL... awkward/strange is an under statement... But I have been learning that it's okay... I have felt a inner peace of late that is almost overwhelming.
Quote from: FrancisAnn on April 01, 2014, 09:52:37 PM
One fun part for me was learning to cook, setting a nice table with candles. Having dinner with a man as a normal woman would. You should try that sometime. Don't forget the apron while cooking, dress nice & cook away. Maybe bake a cake. Just have fun, enjoy your feminine side.
I absolutely love cooking. Hence why I need to lose weight before starting HRT. (Smile) But yes, I agree. My mother bless her heart taught me how to cook at a very young age and to this day I thank her for that. And one of the things I am so looking forward to is having dinner with a man as a normal woman would. Now my baking skills still need a little work.
Quote from: Tori on April 01, 2014, 10:14:39 PM
Yeah Jill!
I am amazed at how guilt free these new hobbies of mine are.
Who'd've thunk I would like to shop and play with makeup? Shoes! OMG shoes.
Right? Shopping makes me so happy now. I used to do surgical strikes at the mall. Run in, grab item, pay, run out. So hard to find size 13 shoes though. Good thing my wife had a closet full of them!
One suggestion I would have is to take an adult acting class. I have an acting background and it really helped me transition relatively seamlessly.
For me accepting myself and getting on HRT began to release the "authentic" me, and once that happened a lot of female mannerisms began to happen naturally. I recently gave a presentation in girl mode in front of a small group of people; the presentation was recorded and I watched it afterward. I could clearly see some of the girly mannerisms and expressions that were always natural to me but that had been suppressed for years coming out without me even thinking about them at the time I was giving that presentation.
The only problem I am having is that my mannerisms are getting way more femme and I am not out yet at work - today I was in a business meeting and I realized with horror that I was sitting with my legs crossed at the knee in a purely female fashion LOL...... be careful what you wish for!
I don't really categorize my activities into male or female traits much anymore 8) Sure I'm feminine as all get out :icon_chick: But is it really necessary to categorize every activity? Other than a few things most activities are just fundamental things anyone would do and sex or gender really has nothing to do with it
I cook and bake because I like good food and it's less expensive than going out, I keep a clean place because I like a clean place, I make repairs because something needs repair and I can't always afford to have someone do it for me
Okay, I love very flowing feminine clothing, doing my hair, my makeup and painting my nails and so forth, but when it's time to clean the oven and do other chores I'm not putting on my favorite dress
Hecks no!!! We're talking about putting the hair up out of danger and crap clothes I don't really care so much about like any other sensible woman would do
Get dirty, get grimy, take a potty break and look in the mirror and say "Dang, I look pretty hot bra less with just a man's tee-shirt and crappy old jeans on" Then touch up your lipstick, bat your eyes and get back to it
It's not all about preconceived norms imo, it's about you being you and being comfortable and accepting yourself for who you are
Just some of my thoughts
Hugs
Quote from: Eva Marie on April 01, 2014, 11:02:26 PM
For me accepting myself and getting on HRT began to release the "authentic" me, and once that happened a lot of female mannerisms began to happen naturally. I recently gave a presentation in girl mode in front of a small group of people; the presentation was recorded and I watched it afterward. I could clearly see some of the girly mannerisms and expressions that were always natural to me but that had been suppressed for years coming out without me even thinking about them at the time I was giving that presentation.
The only problem I am having is that my mannerisms are getting way more femme and I am not out yet at work - today I was in a business meeting and I realized with horror that I was sitting with my legs crossed at the knee in a purely female fashion LOL...... be careful what you wish for!
I really want to start HRT and my therapist has given me the go ahead, but at my weight right now I would look like a bowl of jello with boobs... ;D ;D ;D
But I have to admit I have found myself sitting different and my gestures have changed somewhat which to me is exciting to see. But yes when one is not out all the way yet one needs to pay attention... LOL...
Quote from: V M on April 01, 2014, 11:10:59 PM
Okay, I love very flowing feminine clothing, doing my hair, my makeup and painting my nails and so forth, but when it's time to clean the oven and do other chores I'm not putting on my favorite dress
Hecks no!!! We're talking about putting the hair up out of danger and crap clothes I don't really care so much about like any other sensible woman would do
Get dirty, get grimy, take a potty break and look in the mirror and say "Dang, I look pretty hot bra less with just a man's tee-shirt and crappy old jeans on" Then touch up your lipstick, bat your eyes and get back to it
It's not all about preconceived norms imo, it's about you being you and being comfortable and accepting yourself for who you are
Yes I agree, there is a time and a place for everything...
Quote from: Veronica M on April 01, 2014, 11:16:31 PM
I really want to start HRT and my therapist has given me the go ahead, but at my weight right now I would look like a bowl of jello with boobs... ;D ;D ;D
But I have to admit I have found myself sitting different and my gestures have changed somewhat which to me is exciting to see. But yes when one is not out all the way yet one needs to pay attention... LOL...
I forgot to say that there is nothing like just going out en femme to make you quickly learn and improve because then it is "for real". One example: I was introduced to someone and I stuck my hand out without thinking and gave a guy handshake to another woman. Whoops! That lesson stuck and I have never done that since. Another example: When dressed as a girl and getting asked for your name after you order coffee from Starbucks you will get weird looks if you blurt out your boy name :laugh: I only did that one once too.
I know that going out seems a long way off to you right now, but it will arrive quicker than you will believe.
Quote from: mandonlym on April 01, 2014, 10:47:21 PM
One suggestion I would have is to take an adult acting class. I have an acting background and it really helped me transition relatively seamlessly.
That and your genetics.
Your advice is rather perfect, though.
Non actors think acting is lying. Study the craft and you discover you're learning to tell the truth.
hang out with girls...you ll soon forget everything
guy friends teach you how to be manly
girl friends teach you how to be feminine
My lovely spouse says I'm way more "girly" than she will ever be, she is more of a "northwest" girl with layers of fleece, jeans and not a dress or skirt in her closet...however, she is a very stunning, tall Nordic beauty and loves to give me advice on makeup, hair and other girl stuff.
She took this pic of me a few hours ago doing dishes lol,
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi244.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fgg4%2FKR3259%2Fodds%2520n%2520ends%2F11FB768C-F114-4E6F-B756-7AE7C7FE0DBC_zpsytomjup3.jpg&hash=a4c01e0e931bbf67f5f6ff5a04b68c0948d45c6a)
Quote from: Veronica M on April 01, 2014, 08:50:12 AM
Well I have been here for a bit now and really haven't seen to much chatter to the subject of un-learning masculine behavior. Yea there have been tid-bits here and there but nothing specific. So here I am at 56 years old and have spent 45 of those trying to fit in as a guy... Believe me the mask is hard wired pretty good too. So here I am, I have finally accepted the fact that guy modes isn't working and has drove me almost to extinction. I say almost because three month ago It actually got to where it was being considered. Anyway, not wanting this I got myself into therapy and Veronica was born. That said I really do like her very much and not real fond of the other person but coping.
So here is my question... I have spent 45 years or so learning to hide my femininity and now that I am coming out. (Slow but sure) How did you girl un-learn all the behaviors you put up trying to fit into your male counterpart???
Think of it like learning to drive ...
The day you take your first driving lesson, you can't imagine how you're ever going to indicate, brake, press the clutch, change gear, steer, accelerate, change back up again ... just to go round a corner (BTW, I'm a Brit - well all learn on stick-shift!) Plus you've got to learn all the rules of the road, get used to looking out for other cars ... there's just SO MUCH to do.
Then you get good enough to take a driving test and if you concentrate hard you can do everything you have to do to pass.
Then a bit of time goes by. You're driving every day and suddenly you realise you don't have to think about it any more, you're just driving.
And that's how it will be for you as you un-learn masculine behaviour, struggle to be feminine, gradually learn how to walk, talk and behave like the women you are ... until it becomes automatic and you couldn't be male again, even if you wanted to.
Quote from: Eva Marie on April 01, 2014, 11:42:43 PM
I forgot to say that there is nothing like just going out en femme to make you quickly learn and improve because then it is "for real". One example: I was introduced to someone and I stuck my hand out without thinking and gave a guy handshake to another woman. Whoops! That lesson stuck and I have never done that since. Another example: When dressed as a girl and getting asked for your name after you order coffee from Starbucks you will get weird looks if you blurt out your boy name :laugh: I only did that one once too.
I know that going out seems a long way off to you right now, but it will arrive quicker than you will believe.
OMG... I could so see myself doing that. Then I would turn 15 shade of blush... LOL
_________________
@ mandonlym & Tori
While yes an acting class might be helpful, what I am projecting is not an act nor do I want it to be. It is more the clumsily male attributes I am trying to lose. But I think that will happen over time also.
Quote from: FalsePrincess on April 02, 2014, 01:11:27 AM
hang out with girls...you ll soon forget everything
guy friends teach you how to be manly
girl friends teach you how to be feminine
This actually is working the best for me. Sadly there are not many girls I know here local that know I am coming out. With that said however I have found a few trans girl here and I had no idea I could be such a chatty kathy... LOL
-------------
Well said Carlita... That make a lot of sense...
And Michelle, you look stunning. You are a very lucky girl that your SO stuck it out with you. Many don't.
Even after years of HRT, I still have a short fuse. I'm nearly always upset when I drive because of ->-bleeped-<-ty drivers (ie: texting with both hands), and yell at the TV when playing video games. I used to be a lot worse though.
Quote from: Christine Eryn on April 02, 2014, 10:38:28 AM
Even after years of HRT, I still have a short fuse. I'm nearly always upset when I drive because of ->-bleeped-<-ty drivers (ie: texting with both hands), and yell at the TV when playing video games. I used to be a lot worse though.
Congratulations. Welcome to womanhood. Most of my (cisgender) girlfriends meet this description.
Quote from: Christine Eryn on April 02, 2014, 10:38:28 AM
Even after years of HRT, I still have a short fuse. I'm nearly always upset when I drive because of ->-bleeped-<-ty drivers (ie: texting with both hands), and yell at the TV when playing video games. I used to be a lot worse though.
OMG... I hope not... LOL... I am probably the most laid back person you could ever meet. At least until I get backed onto a corner... Then the claws come out... ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Eva Marie on April 01, 2014, 11:42:43 PM
I forgot to say that there is nothing like just going out en femme to make you quickly learn and improve because then it is "for real". One example: I was introduced to someone and I stuck my hand out without thinking and gave a guy handshake to another woman. Whoops! That lesson stuck and I have never done that since. Another example: When dressed as a girl and getting asked for your name after you order coffee from Starbucks you will get weird looks if you blurt out your boy name :laugh: I only did that one once too.
I know that going out seems a long way off to you right now, but it will arrive quicker than you will believe.
You know that explains allot about why people look at me weird when I shake hands. lol it's little tid bits like this that many of us are not aware of and I enjoy reading this helpful info. :)
Can anyone else share things like this? Those "oh" learning moments.
I am used to people here balking at the concept of acting. Like I said and you confirmed, many think acting is lying. It really is learning to tell the truth.
What do you think the ladies here who actively work on their voice are doing?
What do you think your desire to unlearn masculine behavior is?
Is it lying? Is it fake?
A common early exercise for actors is called Finding Neutral. It is where you practice walking around, doing things... etc. without any of your common physical traits giving away who you are. Male me would do things one way. Neutral me would do things another. Once I have found neutral and eliminated all those male quirks, I can more easily work on female me. How Tori sits, gestures and does things.
I could go on for days. I have three degrees in the subject.
I understand acting is not everybody's cup of tea, but it is not the art of lying and being phony either.
A Tai Chi class would offer similar help.
Like RuPaul said. We are all born naked. Everything else is drag.
Quote from: Tori on April 02, 2014, 04:04:26 PM
I am used to people here balking at the concept of acting. Like I said and you confirmed, many think acting is lying. It really is learning to tell the truth.
What do you think the ladies here who actively work on their voice are doing?
What do you think your desire to unlearn masculine behavior is?
Is it lying? Is it fake?
A common early exercise for actors is called Finding Neutral. It is where you practice walking around, doing things... etc. without any of your common physical traits giving away who you are. Male me would do things one way. Neutral me would do things another. Once I have found neutral and eliminated all those male quirks, I can more easily work on female me. How Tori sits, gestures and does things.
I could go on for days. I have three degrees in the subject.
I understand acting is not everybody's cup of tea, but it is not the art of lying and being phony either.
A Tai Chi class would offer similar help.
Like RuPaul said. We are all born naked. Everything else is drag.
I'm sorry Tori... Actually an acting class isn't a bad idea... If I came off sounding like it was that was not my intentions. And you have some valid statements here also for sure...
No problem. I have heard similar responses to my suggestions since I first registered here.
I am just practicing explaining why acting can be a good thing, so I don't have to go through the "Acting is lying." part of the discussion every single time I mention it.
Besides, there tends to be more women than men in acting classes. Also performing artists are frequently very LGBT friendly. A great place to acclimate.
Quote from: Eva Marie on April 01, 2014, 11:42:43 PM
I forgot to say that there is nothing like just going out en femme to make you quickly learn and improve because then it is "for real". One example: I was introduced to someone and I stuck my hand out without thinking and gave a guy handshake to another woman. Whoops!
It's funny that you mention the handshake. I shake everyone's hand when I meet them, so I've given women a strong handshake on so many occasions (including when I was presenting as female). Sometimes they don't seem to care and other times they gave me odd looks. Never really knew if it was a social "faux pas" to give a woman a handshake like that.
Quote from: Tori on April 02, 2014, 04:32:31 PM
Besides, there tends to be more women than men in acting classes. Also performing artists are frequently very LGBT friendly. A great place to acclimate.
Good point...
I have a good one G Friends. I'm going to attend a 4 hour class on growing a vegetable garden. It's offered for free at a nice local public facility. I'll wager that I will be the only "male" person in class. Maybe grow a nice garden since it's spring time.
For me with acting there's something about inhabiting a character other than me that helps with getting over the self-consciousness and hangups of being me in real life. So it's not having to portray myself as a woman, but how to portray that character who is a woman. Though it was definitely hilarious in terms of my first acting class as a woman and being assigned a scene where I had to kiss a guy in the class. That was a leetle awwwkward...
Welcome to acting 201!
Play a woman, learn to be a woman.
:)
Surrender, laugh, and learn to be led while dancing.
Quote from: birkin on April 02, 2014, 04:37:38 PM
It's funny that you mention the handshake. I shake everyone's hand when I meet them, so I've given women a strong handshake on so many occasions (including when I was presenting as female). Sometimes they don't seem to care and other times they gave me odd looks. Never really knew if it was a social "faux pas" to give a woman a handshake like that.
What i've personally seen and experienced is that women don't really "shake" hands - they will reach out and take your hand but will sometimes cover it with the other hand, or hold your hand while looking you in the eyes. The grip tends to be relaxed.
A vigorous guy style handshake with a firm grip? I haven't ever gotten one from a woman, and that's what I did that one time before I caught myself. Duh!
LOL... Guys made fun of me because I have a feminine handshake, so I just started to avoid shaking hands - It drives the religious and political types nuts, but hey, that's their problem not mine 8)
Pfffff... I have so much ahead of me...
Quote from: Tori on April 01, 2014, 10:05:00 PM
And nails, nails, nails. Women do not do their nails as much these days, but so many mannerisms come from how one works with long, flawlessly painted nails. So much changes, without affecting your own behavior, and they are necessicary adjustments, if you simply grow and paint your nails.
Tori - this is so absolutely true. I've grown mine quite long, and if I have to use a touch screen keyboard on a phone, well, it's impossible to do it without it looking like a girl. :-)
xxx
J
I would like to go back a page and comment on the use of acting technique to improve ungraceful male mannerisms and behaviour. There is a body of theory which suggests that one can achieve character from the inside out but for the elimination of masculine, I think there is a lot to be said for first going to neutral to understand what we had been doing as added posture and movement, then through observation and practice to gently work on grace and poise. Be aware of the space you are taking up and moving through. Move through it with smoothness and and a slightly slower pace so that you raise your awareness of what you are doing. As you change posture and how you move, you will also change how you feel. You will feel lighter and your own femininity will be enhanced and create a loop of ever improving grace and beauty. And it is in gentle grace that the beauty of the feminine can be discovered within.
There is also a lot to be said for dance, particularly ballet for helping you feel light and graceful. Although I did dance and mime in my youth, I had lost much of it. After doing an adult ballet bootcamp, much of it came back. :)
Quote from: DiDi on April 04, 2014, 09:48:27 AM
I would like to go back a page and comment on the use of acting technique to improve ungraceful male mannerisms and behaviour. There is a body of theory which suggests that one can achieve character from the inside out but for the elimination of masculine, I think there is a lot to be said for first going to neutral to understand what we had been doing as added posture and movement, then through observation and practice to gently work on grace and poise. Be aware of the space you are taking up and moving through. Move through it with smoothness and and a slightly slower pace so that you raise your awareness of what you are doing. As you change posture and how you move, you will also change how you feel. You will feel lighter and your own femininity will be enhanced and create a loop of ever improving grace and beauty. And it is in gentle grace that the beauty of the feminine can be discovered within.
There is also a lot to be said for dance, particularly ballet for helping you feel light and graceful. Although I did dance and mime in my youth, I had lost much of it. After doing an adult ballet bootcamp, much of it came back. :)
Thank you DiDi, That make a lot of sense... But at my age, I am going to have to pass on the Ballet... LOL... And if I did attemp it I would hope no one had a video camera around. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: DiDi on April 04, 2014, 09:48:27 AM
There is also a lot to be said for dance, particularly ballet for helping you feel light and graceful. Although I did dance and mime in my youth, I had lost much of it. After doing an adult ballet bootcamp, much of it came back. :)
Yeah I guess I didn't even think about dance... I've been doing ballet / jazz since age 7, then modern since high school, and have danced in the downtown New York scene in between my bouts of schooling. Soooo glad to have totally supportive, non-gender policing parents. There's so much stigma attached to dance for young boys but somehow my family never had a problem with it.
Quote from: DiDi on April 04, 2014, 09:48:27 AM
I would like to go back a page and comment on the use of acting technique to improve ungraceful male mannerisms and behaviour. There is a body of theory which suggests that one can achieve character from the inside out but for the elimination of masculine, I think there is a lot to be said for first going to neutral to understand what we had been doing as added posture and movement, then through observation and practice to gently work on grace and poise. Be aware of the space you are taking up and moving through. Move through it with smoothness and and a slightly slower pace so that you raise your awareness of what you are doing. As you change posture and how you move, you will also change how you feel. You will feel lighter and your own femininity will be enhanced and create a loop of ever improving grace and beauty. And it is in gentle grace that the beauty of the feminine can be discovered within.
There is also a lot to be said for dance, particularly ballet for helping you feel light and graceful. Although I did dance and mime in my youth, I had lost much of it. After doing an adult ballet bootcamp, much of it came back. :)
Thanks for posting these suggestions DIDI, they sound like great ideas. :)
Quote from: Eva Marie on April 03, 2014, 10:28:13 PM
What i've personally seen and experienced is that women don't really "shake" hands - they will reach out and take your hand but will sometimes cover it with the other hand, or hold your hand while looking you in the eyes. The grip tends to be relaxed.
A vigorous guy style handshake with a firm grip? I haven't ever gotten one from a woman, and that's what I did that one time before I caught myself. Duh!
That explains so much, lol. I always wondered why some girls gave me a weird look.