This post https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,162964.0/topicseen.html has me thinking.........so I thought I'd see what others might be thinking as well.
I'm not a skinny jean wearing sort of guy, I know that. I think I'm more of the classic intellectual guy. The guy who studided Philosophy becasue it was the most interesting and amazing thing out there. (Truth......I have a degree in it....) A classic "gentleman" sort of guy......knows which fork of the 20 on the table goes for what, and how to use it.....yet perfectly happy with a hot dog on a paper plate in the backyard too.
Thoughts on your own journey?
I have to say I'm that laid back video game nerd. I'm definitely intelligent but overly so that I don't always have common sense. There wont be anything changing about me personality wise, just a physical change.
I'm a combination of an athlete and a scientist. I used to want to be Indiana Jones (even got a bachelors degree in Archaeology) and have been in sports all of my life. I strive to be trustworthy, wise, strong, patient, and empathetic. I also strive to be a gentleman though my couth level only extends to about 3 or 4 forks lol.
I wanted to become a better gentleman before I knew I wanted to transition, I doubt my personality will be doing any drastic changing.
Anyone else visit Art of Manliness?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F37.media.tumblr.com%2F9a95c35928818cbff91549261ed97a87%2Ftumblr_mzv42nHu8C1qaak3fo1_1280.jpg&hash=cabc317d40743a12a88017368be6a66b835cb71f)
About sums it up, lol
Hm, this thread made me think a bit, because honestly, I've never thought about what kind of guy I am or what kind of guy I want to be. I'm content to be happy in my own skin. As for self-improvement or growing into the type of person I want to be, I usually take things one at the time...like recently I noticed that I am not always as good with my time as I could be, so I have a journal where I keep track of how I get caught up in time wasting traps. I guess I'm pretty boring lol.
Quote from: Polo on April 11, 2014, 03:52:45 PM
I'm a combination of an athlete and a scientist. I used to want to be Indiana Jones (even got a bachelors degree in Archaeology) and have been in sports all of my life. I strive to be trustworthy, wise, strong, patient, and empathetic. I also strive to be a gentleman though my couth level only extends to about 3 or 4 forks lol.
I wanted to become a better gentleman before I knew I wanted to transition, I doubt my personality will be doing any drastic changing.
Anyone else visit Art of Manliness?
Art of Manliness ROCKS. I've been a regular visitor for quite a while.
There is a blog/site called "The American Gentleman" you may also enjoy.
Personally....I was "supposed" to be a Southern Belle (so sayeth my aunts) but ended up more Southern Gentleman. Even in college...
For both Old School and Modern couth, still can't beat Emily Post and her descendants.
Quote from: birkin on April 11, 2014, 04:09:57 PM
Hm, this thread made me think a bit, because honestly, I've never thought about what kind of guy I am or what kind of guy I want to be. I'm content to be happy in my own skin. As for self-improvement or growing into the type of person I want to be, I usually take things one at the time...like recently I noticed that I am not always as good with my time as I could be, so I have a journal where I keep track of how I get caught up in time wasting traps. I guess I'm pretty boring lol.
Time management is always manly!
Quote from: Polo on April 11, 2014, 03:52:45 PMAnyone else visit Art of Manliness?
Yep, I read their articles sometimes.
I've done some thinking on this subject and have some concrete things to work towards. A big one for me is learning better control of my voice when I'm angry. Sometimes I yell when I don't mean to, it's not cool. I'd rather be more chill like Bob Ross. Probably easier to be that chill when you're talking about happy little trees than in a frustrating situation, but it's something to aim for.
I like being the kind of guy I already am. I want to work on a few things, but I like working on things. I want to be stronger, more powerful, and get rid of weaknesses that aren't worth having. Other than that, I'm already the guy I want to be.
Oh yeah I also want the power to be open about myself without being punished for it.
Physically I think I could look a bit like Martin Freeman (we're both short and blond with a similar build) and I like his fashion style too. I could also easily pull the Sean Astin aesthetic. (Can anyone tell I'm a LOTR freak yet?)
Personality wise, I'm working on becoming someone who is quiet and collected, good to have in an emergency, and is very moral and lawful, but can determine the best course of action despite his biases. I'm very intelligent and articulate but can be quite pretentious about it, so I need to work on that. I am also very loyal and protective of those close to me, that's something about myself which I like although it can be a weakness at points.
Mainly I think I would just like to be a dog. Dogs are important.
never really thought about it that much...I guess the kind of man I want to be is not like my father...yeah think that sums it up for me
Someone who gets ->-bleeped-<- done, and isn't afraid to get their hands a little dirty or do it themselves and never just be too lazy to do something that needs doing. I want to be able to work with my hands and build and fix things, to remember and keep my appointments - and my promises, and to be conscious and act mindfully in regards to my body, mind, planet, and all the things that live on its surface and its its waters. I want to be someone who always leaves a place better than they found it (or at least no worse =p).
Most importantly of all: I want to be someone who laughs every single day of their life.
[those are just person goals... not necessarily man goals. Just so happens I want to be/am a man while doing those things.]
This.
http://fiercegentleman.com/10-qualities-fierce-gentleman/
I'm pretty much the same as I've always been - I'm a southern boy at heart (love fishing, hunting, the outdoors, tractors, farming, you name it...) but I'm also an artist.
I strive to be the kind of man that my Papaw is. Honourable, polite, determined, true to my word - I want to provide for my family and be a man of integrity.
I strive to be the guy who is the life of the party, who is friendly, accepting, loving and creative. No so much the 'class clown' type of deal, just the guy who is really fun-loving and likes being with friends, and exploring the world to satisfy his own curiosity. However, can easily switch demeanor to be gentlemanly when serious. I think I pretty much got it all down currently, I am me, I am the guy I want to be. All that's left is to change my physical appearance to match it.
I want to be a married man that is able to provide for his wife. I want to be a great husband with a wife that is madly in love with me. I strive to be a somewhat stereotypical guy that loves to watch live fights on t.v. and I want to be financilly stable one day, stable enough to be able to go to anime convetions yearly. In general I guess I just want to be a typical guy.
More forgiving, understanding and loving :3
I don't classify myself in this way, nor do I strive to be any sort of man. I just am who I am, and I'm mostly working on self-improvement. No particular goal except to get rid of certain demons and tendencies and to sort out some confusing issues.
I want to be a strong,athletic,outgoing,fun guy that has some what of a wild side and enjoys life.Physically i would like to be a ripped like Taylor lautner.
We were just talking about this in therapy.
Quote from: JayDawg on April 11, 2014, 08:51:06 PM
This.
http://fiercegentleman.com/10-qualities-fierce-gentleman/
I like this. number one doesn't fit me but I'll take 2 - 10.
Quote from: JayDawg on April 11, 2014, 08:51:06 PM
This.
http://fiercegentleman.com/10-qualities-fierce-gentleman/
Exactly this.
Personality wise, nothing will change but If I had to give a physical example:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjame-world.com%2F_pic%2Fpic%2F54-a.jpg&hash=2ba6498a1ce09cbc71f9ab69eba141b39432f01b)
A pretty boy
Same as I am now, I guess, except healthier. A geeky, very shy and reserved guy, but (HOPEFULLY) one who enjoys working out and hiking and doing cool things like that.
This might sound weird but i strive to be like my biggest rolemodel (transman) intelligent, tenderhearted, bold, athletic, responsible & handsome
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi60.tinypic.com%2F161ezys.png&hash=d4aaa5cfe50acc11220738af7ce9cb43737ff239)
I think I'd be the same as I am only in the right body... I think then many things I do/am now would make much more sense too... Including being a bit of a gentleman, old fashioned. I like the idea of helping and supporting my partner and people around me. I guess transforming would help in a way as people around me (mostly other men) would back off a little and allow me to do that without any awkwardness, if that makes any sense...
Looks wise... Well I hope I'll finally be happy with my looks! My entire life I've heard people thinking I looked nice/good but have always hated everything about me. I suppose I hope I'll learn to like what I see in the mirror (not in a weird way).
I don't see myself changing that much. I will continue treating people with respect and extending common courtesy to everyone.
What I DO want to be is someone who uses his white male privilege to be an awesome ally to those who are oppressed.
Thinking about this more, I am basically going to be the guy I am. Except hopefully a wee bit physically stronger and a fair bit more confident. And I won't be holding back who I am.
Quote from: Whynaut on April 12, 2014, 10:04:03 PM
What I DO want to be is someone who uses his white male privilege to be an awesome ally to those who are oppressed.
And this. Especially towards women. Nothing other oppressed groups but in a weird way I feel like I have a debt to pay. It's my dad's debt really, but it would feel good to right that wrong.
The man I have always been but never accepted.
Quote from: christopher on April 12, 2014, 11:15:48 PM
Thinking about this more, I am basically going to be the guy I am. Except hopefully a wee bit physically stronger and a fair bit more confident. And I won't be holding back who I am.
And this. Especially towards women. Nothing other oppressed groups but in a weird way I feel like I have a debt to pay. It's my dad's debt really, but it would feel good to right that wrong.
Christopher & Whynaut.....
I feel there is debt too. From family members who used that privilege to demean others, or control them.....and for the debt of the random jerks I see. I'm glad I am not the only one who wants to put a bit of good male karma back into the world.
Quote from: Greeneyedrebel on April 13, 2014, 08:36:16 AM
Christopher & Whynaut.....
I feel there is debt too. From family members who used that privilege to demean others, or control them.....and for the debt of the random jerks I see. I'm glad I am not the only one who wants to put a bit of good male karma back into the world.
I don't feel debt is the right word to describe my experience but I can see why you might feel that way.
I will never stand by while other men objectify women. Or call her a bitch for being assertive. Or blow her off as not knowing what she's doing with respect to some "manly" endeavor [electronics, cars, etc.]. I also want to be strong for PoC, though I am less familiar with their experience.
I think we all have a unique opportunity with this ->-bleeped-<-ty hand we were dealt. I have a disabled student in one of my classes who pointed out to his classmates, "Yes, I have this really obvious disability and it makes life hard, but I can also learn a lot that I would not have had the chance without this disability."
Quote from: Greeneyedrebel on April 11, 2014, 04:24:10 PM
Art of Manliness ROCKS. I've been a regular visitor for quite a while.
There is a blog/site called "The American Gentleman" you may also enjoy.
Personally....I was "supposed" to be a Southern Belle (so sayeth my aunts) but ended up more Southern Gentleman. Even in college...
For both Old School and Modern couth, still can't beat Emily Post and her descendants.
Could you please post the link? I am finding more than one site with that name. Thanks.
Also, I'd like to look like this guy:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fszuperblog.hu%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F10%2F125.jpg&hash=db7316f577fdd29229958574edf295cc88c84ef5)
Quote from: Whynaut on April 13, 2014, 11:04:31 AM
I think we all have a unique opportunity with this ->-bleeped-<-ty hand we were dealt. I have a disabled student in one of my classes who pointed out to his classmates, "Yes, I have this really obvious disability and it makes life hard, but I can also learn a lot that I would not have had the chance without this disability."
I very strongly agree with that. Trans* people are pretty much the only group of people that have both experienced and contemplated gender so in depth, and it gives us a very unique worldview.
Quote from: Brett on April 13, 2014, 07:46:38 PM
Could you please post the link? I am finding more than one site with that name. Thanks.
The older site is: http://americangentleman.tumblr.com/ (NO www)
And in Jan of this year they opened the new site: http://theamericangent.com/ (Still no www)
The older site has a lot more posting wise though.
I'll have to check them out, thanks man :)
Quote from: Greeneyedrebel on April 13, 2014, 08:36:16 AM
Christopher & Whynaut.....
I feel there is debt too. From family members who used that privilege to demean others, or control them.....and for the debt of the random jerks I see. I'm glad I am not the only one who wants to put a bit of good male karma back into the world.
Quote from: Whynaut on April 13, 2014, 11:04:31 AM
I don't feel debt is the right word to describe my experience but I can see why you might feel that way.
I will never stand by while other men objectify women. Or call her a bitch for being assertive. Or blow her off as not knowing what she's doing with respect to some "manly" endeavor [electronics, cars, etc.]. I also want to be strong for PoC, though I am less familiar with their experience.
I think we all have a unique opportunity with this ->-bleeped-<-ty hand we were dealt. I have a disabled student in one of my classes who pointed out to his classmates, "Yes, I have this really obvious disability and it makes life hard, but I can also learn a lot that I would not have had the chance without this disability."
I have always wanted to be a good person. I've always felt the ->-bleeped-<-ty hand I was dealt has given me a special chance. Lord knows I've learned to be creative and adaptable. I have the crazy transgender thing (heh!), the learning disabilities and vision issues. But more, I hope, it's let me be compassionate and always care for the underdog. I feel grateful for that.
But there is something more. My dad was awful to my mom and I. And honestly, my growing up situation was so messed up it's taken me a long time to know what is normal. I didn't like how my dad treated my mom, but she sort of normalized it herself and she was such an unhealthy person and difficult to be around that I sort of blamed her for some of what happened. I regret that. The fact that she let (did she have a choice?) the same thing to happen to me, from an early age is wrong but the thing is, I was strong enough to survive and get out. She didn't. For that, I feel a debt.
Well, hopefully I didn't bring this thread down too much :P
I strive to stay true to myself. I want to be strong physically and mentally. I've always wanted to be a father like figure, not only family wise but just a dependable guy people can trust without feeling they have to be anyone but themselves around.
I'm not overly masculine, I identify as a straight male, but im comfortable enough with that that i don't care if people see my feminine qualities. I like to draw i like to knit, I even partake in my friends conversations about Yaoi, but thats fine, I'm not trying to impress anyone, I'm just me. my hobbys don't define my gender and I'm comfortable with that.
I went into transition knowing I'd be a man who likes some feminine things. but that doesn't mean i can't have the body I know matches my gender just because of that.
Quote from: christopher on April 13, 2014, 10:50:24 PM
I have always wanted to be a good person. I've always felt the ->-bleeped-<-ty hand I was dealt has given me a special chance. Lord knows I've learned to be creative and adaptable. I have the crazy transgender thing (heh!), the learning disabilities and vision issues. But more, I hope, it's let me be compassionate and always care for the underdog. I feel grateful for that.
But there is something more. My dad was awful to my mom and I. And honestly, my growing up situation was so messed up it's taken me a long time to know what is normal. I didn't like how my dad treated my mom, but she sort of normalized it herself and she was such an unhealthy person and difficult to be around that I sort of blamed her for some of what happened. I regret that. The fact that she let (did she have a choice?) the same thing to happen to me, from an early age is wrong but the thing is, I was strong enough to survive and get out. She didn't. For that, I feel a debt.
Well, hopefully I didn't bring this thread down too much :P
I think you have a good point actually. I'm sorry your mom....or any female ever....was or is treated like that. It's wrong, horrible...on many levels. But at the same time, it seems you learned from it, even if that's just a lesson in the kind of mand you DON'T want to be.
These debts we are talking about...I don't know if they can be paid back in any fashion, certainly the actions of one person (me) can't make up for all the mistreatment of women I have seen in my lifetime....but I hope I can set an example somehow, show that it's perfectly possible to be a happy and confident man WITHOUT such behavior. Maybe just maybe that will click with some other guy somewhere. Ripples.
Like the tattoo on my forearm:
For all that I am
For all that I see
For all I'm a part of
For all that sees me
We can CHOOSE, actively, everyday....what sort of impact we want to have on the world.
Quote from: Greeneyedrebel on April 14, 2014, 07:14:05 AM
I think you have a good point actually. I'm sorry your mom....or any female ever....was or is treated like that. It's wrong, horrible...on many levels.
Why only females? It's horrible for anyone to go through.
Quote from: Edge on April 14, 2014, 07:58:52 AM
Why only females? It's horrible for anyone to go through.
It IS horrible for anyone to go through. I mentioned female in the reply because he had mentioned his mom as a specific person.