Hi family. So this may be an unpopular topic, but I need to bounce this off you guys.
Prior to medically transitioning, I was read as male pretty much all the time, beginning in my early teens. Women telling me I was in the wrong public restroom, being called 'sir' and 'young man' on a daily basis. I was always athletic, muscular, and despite my having boobs and for some time, long hair, I was read as male.
Fast forward and here I am, on T for 5 years. I've got facial hair and have had chest surgery so I'm still being read as male.
I'm still in shape, still athletic, still muscular. Somehow, I feel that maybe I felt more male BEFORE going on T! It's hard to explain but I think I was more masculine when I ID'd as female. Hmmmm. Can anyone relate to this, even a little?
Thanks!!!
I don't, but I have a theory. When you lived as female (not sure how else to say this), you would have been the most masculine, muscular, etc. of "women", now as a male you are more in the average range. Average muscles, perhaps a little short(?), etc. So on the grand bell curve in life your rating comes more in the middle and not at the upper end anymore. Does this make sense?
I was short as a female and it didn't bother me ever. Now it annoys me a *little* because I am at the very further edge of what it is normative.
--Jay
QuoteSomehow, I feel that maybe I felt more male BEFORE going on T! It's hard to explain but I think I was more masculine when I ID'd as female. Hmmmm. Can anyone relate to this, even a little?
Yes. Others have noticed that about me too. I think it may be partly what Jay said. We're just perceived differently now.
aleon, yes! that makes so much sense. thank you--worded perfectly.
I can kind of relate. I was ID'd as male quite a lot before I had even considered transition. I lived mostly as male pre-t; but even in that time I'd started identifying as a femme man. I've been on t for almost a year and a half, live exclusively male, but I still feel more feminine than when I identified as female. Life's strange sometimes, haha. I think it's normal to have your thoughts and perspectives change throughout transition.
I'm really quite relieved to know I'm not the only one experiencing such feelings. Thanks, guys!
I can relate as well. When you were seen as female, you were the tough one, I bet. I was seen as that as well on many levels. I was one of those rare, cool gamer 'girls' who was athletic as well. Now I'm just a tiny, slightly average man. It's a step back in that regard. But I'd still pick being a male over a female any day.