Hello everyone,
My name is Megan Christine (not my real name, but pretty close), from Europe. We celebrate individuality and freedom in the country I'm from, but you still have to be confined within the borders of "normality" to be socially accepted. The laws jante in all it's glory you can say :p
Here is a short version of my thirty six years :)
The beginning...
In a country far, far away a little child was born in '77, wrapped in the color blue. Healthy and full of energy, ready to take on life with eager.
Early years
As a child I must have been a pain in the ass for my parents not able to sit still for one moment and always being high and low, questioning everything around me. It wasn't before the age of four I realized something was terribly wrong.
I remember I saw a girl running naked around the pool and it just hit me, something is just not right here. I knew from that very moment that I was different; that I for some strange reason was equipped with something I shouldn't been equipped with. I just knew...
I was bullied in kinder garden, in elementary, middle, and High school all the way through the second year in college where I switched school and things started to go kind of better. I had decided that I had to do something, and did so when I moved out to attend university.
The courage
I remember that terrifying moment, in the doctor's office when I said: "I just can't hack it, I can't be a boy anymore." And then total silence, he wrote a name and a telephone number on a piece of paper and said: "you need to call him". And that was that. When I got back to the dorm I made that phone call and my life would from that moment be forever changed.
I thought my parents would be cool about it and supportive, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I thought they would support me since they rooted on people they'd seen in documentaries who had undergone the same transition and procedure, but no, they resented the whole idea. Other kids was ok, but not their own child, heavens not that. And it went so fare that they ransacked my whole room and found the doctors name and wrote a letter to tell him NOT to accept me into the treatment.
Thankfully the doc listened to me and did not take my parents wishes and desperate efforts into consideration. Because of that, my parents shunned me, and that took a really heavy toll on me. I flunked school. My parents would let me move back in if I stopped my quest for becoming my true self.
The war
I continued my transition and eventually on the HRT, that was the moment where my parents un-doubtfully started to notice some evident changes. Due to that, they made less food for the meals, ate without me and really made me feel that I was dead to them. They won... I stopped the whole thing, and told my self that I could manage to live as what I was born as.
I ended up getting a girlfriend, I moved to the other side of the country, 37 miles from my parents. Life was good, I had a steady job, girlfriend and a nice apartment with an awesome view, what more could a guy ask for? Did this last? Hell no. That feeling came creeping in the door again and at this point I was considering just jumping off the bridge. I even went as far as walking of that bridge looking down, but no... I did not want to do that. I did not have that in me, I wanted to LIVE as myself! Who was I letting others telling me who I was supposed to be? This is my life right? So, I took the courage and told my Girlfriend. I expected the worst but she supported me, she even pushed me to get back on the HRT ASAP.
And so it started again, I was back on the HRT and the ball had started to roll, my parents shunned me again and prohibited me to even contact my siblings and they told them never to take contact with me. My dad sent me a x-mas card where he thanked me for ruing x-mas and told me that I now was dead to him.
My mom even called my GF to try to convince here to talk me out of it, but she told the truth... She told them that she was the one who had pushed back into it, and that they should be grateful for it. Better to have a wonderful daughter than dead son.
So fast forwarding in time, I quit my job started another one back in the main capitol, told my boss there, and they were totally cool. Had a one on one for everyone who had questions and god so much support. By the time we could bought by a bigger company I had changed my name, and so far into HRT, real life experience that no one could really tell.
Later that same year, September 21st, 2001, to be more precise I got the phone call I had been waiting for so long to hear. "We know this is on a short notice, but can you come in on Sunday. We have you set up on Monday 7am".
I had almost just turned 24 and there it was, SRS, I could not have gotten a better birthday present.
The procedure lasted for several hours and when I woke up it wasn't without complications. I had managed to get compartment syndrome and bot my legs and I was rushed down to the ICU where I spent the next week under constant monitoring. With every vein punctured by IV's. Not to mention the artery tap and a CVC sticking out of my upper chest.
Aftermath
After months in the hospital I had lost almost all muscles tissue in my legs, I had to start training and almost learning to walk again. I had a pain so fierce I would not even wish it upon my worst enemy. It was almost unbearable. At some point I was looking at my new birth certificate with the new social security number, gender definition and name... thinking... If I die now it'll be OK, I made it... I made it.
What does not kill you truly makes you stronger.
I managed to recover. It took six years before the occasional, we're talking about every night, insane cramps in my legs to vanish.
A couple of years later I underwent breast augmentation, then FFS with Dr. Spiegel.
Epilogue
It's been 13 since my SRS, and this is the first time I've ever written about it in a Forum like this. But I really hope that this story will give those who seek it the boost they need to pull it through. Stay strong! :D
Life status: AWESOME, everyday us SATURDAY!
Relationship: First GF is still my best friend. Love her for the support and we still see each other often.
Professional Life: Been doing lots of cool things and had my current job for seven years now, where I work as an engineer and teacher at the academy.
This introduction may be somewhat dramatic, but despite the hell I had to go through to get where I am today. Every single moment is a chip off that rock that in the end has become me. I would not be me without those moments, good or bad, I am the result of all my experiences. I could not be me without them so I embrace everyone of the, they are me and they are who I am. :D
It was worth it, and I would have done it all again. Never ever stop fighting becoming you. It's a battle worth taking.
-MegC
What a wonderful Introduction Megan... Welcome to Susan's. Your story is truly inspirational...
Welcome Megan :) It's great to have you here! Thanks for sharing your story, it reminds me of how incredible people can be and how much they can endure... still coming out on top with loads of positivity. It's a breath of fresh air and welcome welcome welcome :D
Holy cow youre a tough missy!
But really thanks for sharing even after all that you made it and it was worth it?
@Veronica M: Thank you :D
@Jenny: It's thanks to you that I registered here, so I should really thank YOU :D
@Blue Rabbit: Thank you :D Yeah, so I've heard :D A trooper I recall Jenny called me ;) It was really worth the fight.
Welcome to Susan's, MeganChristine.
:)
Welcome Megan! Wow, quite the linguist! Do you "write?" That was pretty epic.
It really puts things into perspective when you deal with things like leg mobility. Something about staring down the loaded barrel of life makes all the little stuff a little smaller. ;)
Anyway you should totally write, because you're good.
Welcome Megan! All I can say is WOW, you rock girl! :)