I'm an FTM who is certainly keeping my options for HRT and SRS open, but I'm starting to wonder more about living full-time but not making any bodily changes.
I already came out to my friends, and they now call me by the correct pronouns and seem to truly view me as the man I am. All this while I still physically appear female. Now I know that not everyone will accept me as a guy just because I say I am, but what I'm wondering about is if it's possible to live like this:
1.) Get a male haircut
2.) Dress in men's clothes (I already dress masculinely, but taking it to the next level, full-time)
3.) Go by a male name
4.) Bind
5.) Get a prosthetic (preferably a pack-and-play)
And carry on my merry way, living as a guy for all intents and purposes.
Some of the reasons I think I may be able to do this: I already have a decent amount of hair on my arms, my stomach, and my chest; I already have a fairly low voice and could probably work on making it sound regularly lower; and with the right haircut and no make-up, I could (hopefully) pass for a guy, a pretty boy type, but still a guy.
Anyone live this way successfully or done something similar?
Hi CandyCane,
I was recently at a concert where one of the spoken word artists, Ivan Coyote, sounds exactly like you describe.
For many years, he was non-op, non-hormone, binding, packing, living as a guy. More recently, I believe he did do some surgery, but it sounds like spent a few decades in "low-tech" mode. Some of his stories are hilarious, some heartbreaking.
If you want to look up his show, google "Gender Failure".
Interesting, JesseG! Thanks for the info. I looked Ivan up and according to his page, he is actually gender-neutral/non-binary. But I definitely want to find out more about how he potentially lived as a man like you said, with no hormones or surgery.
Anyone else on this forum actually lived this way?
I did it for a number of years as a mtf but also had a friend in school who was ft?. My friend didn't use any pronouns and it was very hard for people to grasp that concept. So they usually used female pronouns and because of that my friend never felt safe in male only places. For me, I would get all sorts of reactions. Some people saw me as male, some saw me as weird, and others saw me as trans.So most tolerated me. I also knew another female who kept her hair short and wore pants with button up shirts constantly. Because of this people would mistake her as a guy a lot. So it is possible to live intentionally and unintentionally as the other sex without taking hormones or having surgery. It just comes down to what you want from life.
I met a guy at a group I used to go to. He said he went 7 years living full time before finally deciding to start on testosterone. I think he said he was binding for some of it but not all of it. I didn't ask (because it's none of my business) and he didn't offer whether or not he was packing or if he had any surgeries. The point is, I think it's completely possible what you are debating.
Quote from: JesseG on April 30, 2014, 05:43:17 PM
Hi CandyCane,
I was recently at a concert where one of the spoken word artists, Ivan Coyote, sounds exactly like you describe.
For many years, he was non-op, non-hormone, binding, packing, living as a guy. More recently, I believe he did do some surgery, but it sounds like spent a few decades in "low-tech" mode. Some of his stories are hilarious, some heartbreaking.
If you want to look up his show, google "Gender Failure".
Just a note that Ivan goes by she (check out her personal website: http://www.ivanecoyote.com/). And she doesn't exactly "live as a guy." Though she does identify as transgender.
It's Ray Spoon, part of the same show, who is more on the male side, and did go by he for some time, but now prefers they.
Regardless, they are very awesome and very non-binary Canadian trans people.
Lucas Silveira, another Canadian trans person, did actually kind of do what you are suggesting--opting to live as a guy with just top surgery and no hormones for a number of years. But he did eventually start hormones in the end.
Really? Oh wow, I didn't know that about Ivan. Going by the stories I heard on stage that night, I was getting 'guy' - moreso than Ray, whom I've known for a while to be gender-neutral (gender-retired?). That's why I only mentioned Ivan in my response to CandyCane. I stand corrected.
My wife's known Ray personally since they were kids, which is why we were at the show. First she witnessed one of her school friends struggle with gender, and then her husband - seems almost common now, doesn't it?
Yes, the show was great, there was an undeniable charm and chemistry on stage.
Candy Cane Tie, I'm currently doing this, and have been for roughly a year. I consider myself a pre-T, pre-op FTM, but am pretty successful without either.
I'm lucky enough to have a male birth-name, so I didn't have to change it. If you really want to go full time, I'd suggest getting it legally changed and switching all of your I.d. and credit/debit cards. My experience is that people don't see the "F" and just look at the picture, name, and birth date.
With the other things you mentioned, I'd add working on male body language and speaking like a man; it's not just about making it lower, it's a style of speaking. For me, mastering how to speak like most guys do was the tipping point for me being regularly read as male.
It's definitely possible, but don't be surprised if people treat you like you are younger than you really are, which sometimes comes with a lack of respect or coddling treatment... Which is my current reason for wanting to start T. I get treated like a guy which is great, but I don't know if I'd ever be treated like a man without HRT. It's OK for now since I'm in college, but I feel like my time for getting away with it is limited.