wasnt sure how to name this, but basically for some of us transitioning and still coming out, theres a point when your trans life meets your "real life", in other words, like facebook, I have been slowly transitioning it from "fake girl me" to real me, got rid of pics of when I was in girl mode from like high school and putting more dude pics up, which is fine, i changed the gender to male, but its hidden, and my name is what i'm trying to figure out to change, only some people know I want to go as ryan, but family and others still know me as my legal name which is brianna and i hate it with a passion my legal name lol anyway i'm at that point when people know i am transitioning and I will be starting hormones soon, but there are some family members who are still struggling to get it, and of course work I go by my legal name still, but dress and act like a dude lol so I guess i'm struggling with the do I just keep taking it slowly or just dive in head first and have everyone call me ryan, its funny cause it feels like i'm holding this deep dark dirty secret because i'm transgender sometimes, like me wanting to be a dude and liking chicks is this dark forbidden secret and the anxiety before telling someone this secret or even showing a little bit of that life, its hard to do, right now my closest friends know and my mom, but she doesnt really get it, i just think its funny the anxiety that builds up and feeling like its a dirty secret but then when people find out, its not a big deal to some, guess this is more of a rant than anything, and that others might feel the same sometimes, obviously I know i'm not crazy and its not a dirty secret, just the way society is, it can feel like it sometimes, and i guess I just cant wait to be me ryan with everyone and stop having to pretend to be "girl me" for certain situations.
Honestly, if it were me, I'd just get it over with and change my name on FB. Expect a lot of questions, but be honest when they come.
I don't know what the people around you are like, so I can't comment on how they'll react. But yeah, more times than not - it seems that most people don't throw a huge tantrum but are pretty much non-chalant about it. Just keep things simple and real - that's my advice.
thanks bro
I think it would be more easy if you either made official on your facebook status that you are trans to everyone.
You may get ALOT of message or even someone who may unfriend you but then you took the step and know where to stand.
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or
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make a new facebook profil beside the once you have and make it into your name and all the guy things,
You only accept people who know you are trans and who will get to know you are trans on that page and slowly it will grow.
Before changing my name on my social media accounts, I wrote a brief post on each stating that I was transitioning to male and would be changing my name. I invited my friends to ask me any questions they might have (nobody did) and then two days later I changed my name on all my accounts.
I decided to disclose in advance because if a strange dude's name suddenly appeared in their Friends list without any explanation, they could've unfriended be because they wouldn't know who I was. Instead, I got loads of 'like's and I didn't lose any friends. Guess I picked them correctly. ;)
I'm on the other side, but I get what you are saying all the same. My gender is like a complete blurred line at the moment and confusing. It would be nice to fully be on one side at some point, but I'm still in this middle phase. However, it seems like you are making some nice progress and won't be there too long in the grand scheme of things. Keep going and this will all be in the past. :)
thanks guys, I appreciate the support
I'm having this problem as well. I've changed my gender to transgender male on Facebook, and my Instagram posts that I've come out to my followers as trans* are (for the most part) also posted on my FB, but no one really pays much attention to my FB posts, so I don't know why I bother. If they notice it, fantastic, and if they don't, fantastic. If they don't care enough to notice it, then they're not worth the worry that comes with coming out. However, I haven't made an official coming out post yet, as I'm working up the courage (my mom is on my FB :-\ ), but, as I said, who would see it and care that doesn't already know? (Mostly close friends and family members only like or comment on my stuff anyway).
After telling my parents about it I decided instead of waiting for the next family dinner (which was 2 weeks away) I was just going to bomb it on FB instead because I couldn't wait to get it off my chest.
I actually did a private msg chat with most of my core family then I made an official post to the rest of my friends and distant family and shortly after changed my name/gender and went on with my life. Of course closer family members were a bit shocked and surprised but were supportive and friends actually didn't say a darn thing. I got more likes though on the status than I thought I was going to lol
But I tell you, nothing feels more calming than getting that weight off your shoulders even if you get negative noise back. I lost a few friends during my coming out wave but ya know what? I don't need people in my life like that anyways. Most of em were just after my "female booty" so to speak anyways so good riddance lol.
Just make a very clear, informed post and offer to link any information if anyone has any questions and offer to private chat with them as well.
I didn't have Facebook until after transition. But I like the idea of starting a new profile, adding people you are out to, etc. I am stealth and I now have a mix of friends who know and don't know my status. It's been so long since I came out that it is really no longer a topic of interest to those that know; I never talk about it, and whenever I refer to myself from "before" it is always with either gender neutral words (scouts, kid, child) but I will use my current name and male pronouns (ie report cards always said Jay needed to improve his penmanship). That sort of thing. Nobody really mentions transition any more and only family occasionally slips up on pronouns.
If you are going to be out and proud like many I know (not my thing; I'm a very private person) then just change your name on Facebook and be done with it.
Good luck!