This one's for those of us who've been there and done that to pass on some 'wisdom' to our sisters still getting started on their journey. We all had a ton of little things we obsessed about as we came to grips with who we are, here's the ones that just won't matter by then, so why let them get you down today?
Here's a couple to get started:
if your earlobe/handwriting/shoulders/feet/etc. is/are feminine enough.
what your family thinks about your transition.
Come on girls, add on your favorite bug-a-boo you out grew!
Lol what?! I saw that some where else yesterday about the handwriting. Whats the big deal about handwriting? And I never knew male and female peeps wrote in different styles 0-o And who the hell writes anymore? Use a computer it's 2014! I've not wrote a word since I finished school. Darn... Bet my handwriting sucks so bad now!
Quote from: Blue Rabbit on April 29, 2014, 04:41:10 PM
Lol what?! I saw that some where else yesterday about the handwriting. Whats the big deal about handwriting? And I never knew male and female peeps wrote in different styles 0-o And who the hell writes anymore? Use a computer it's 2014! I've not wrote a word since I finished school. Darn... Bet my handwriting sucks so bad now!
I guess that's why women can't be doctors?! Actually I am sure I was stressed about that too - especially changing my signature... I did go out of my way to think about it, but heck, 10 years later I had forgotten all about it!
I seeeeeeeee!
Well hopefully! I shall worry about NO transgender stuff in ten years cause I'll love my own skin, I won't worry about sounding like a man and I'll have new issues! Like being f&@#ing thirty. Wow.......
(Mod edit: no swears please)
In ten years ill be 50...wow
I won't worry about clothes snd looking hot
Quote from: Blue Rabbit on April 29, 2014, 06:30:26 PM
I seeeeeeeee!
Well hopefully! I shall worry about NO transgender stuff in ten years cause I'll love my own skin, I won't worry about sounding like a man and I'll have new issues! Like being f&@#ing thirty. Wow.......
Yeah, I'll be 35. YAY! Seriously, that is major depressing.
Well, I'll look forward to seeing how this thread turns out. Right now, I panic on many things as I'm still early in. As for what you mentioned, family problems, and concerns about my shoulders and feet do get to me. Hopefully, they won't bother me in time.
i'll be 33 in 10 years....starting to feel a little bit old lol but good news is I wont be worrying about if I pass or not by then, love hate relationship right there with time
I'm 3 years in and don't worry about most of the things I see posted around here..
I never worried if my earlobe/handwriting/shoulders/feet/etc. is/are feminine enough.
I will be 45 !! OMB .. :o
I wont be thinking much about myself but my love ones, I wish that my parents still be there with me, I will support them, take them shopping, eat good food, etc
also my partner, my brothers & sister , and my lovely dog
Quote from: kelly_aus on April 29, 2014, 07:32:58 PM
I'm 3 years in and don't worry about most of the things I see posted around here..
I never worried if my earlobe/handwriting/shoulders/feet/etc. is/are feminine enough.
Right on! (a common Seattle thing to say) That line was me trying to be silly. I was trying to point out that the little nagging things that we make such a big deal about when we're young in our transition seem silly in hindsight. I am positive I stressed out about everything from the length of my eyelashes to the shape of my toes. It seems way too important at the time for something that usually you can't do anything about.
Quote from: Blue Rabbit on April 29, 2014, 06:30:26 PM
I seeeeeeeee!
Well hopefully! I shall worry about NO transgender stuff in ten years cause I'll love my own skin, I won't worry about sounding like a man and I'll have new issues! Like being f&@#ing thirty. Wow.......
Hey, I had surgery when I was 30! ::) When you're 30 you won't worry about being 30, you'll worry about being 40 :)
Quote from: IamNotxChristine on April 29, 2014, 06:37:32 PM
In ten years ill be 50...wow
I won't worry about clothes snd looking hot
You'll totally be a MILF/Cougar hybrid and def looking hot! :)
Quote from: Ducks on April 29, 2014, 08:14:18 PM
Right on! (a common Seattle thing to say) That line was me trying to be silly. I was trying to point out that the little nagging things that we make such a big deal about when we're young in our transition seem silly in hindsight. I am positive I stressed out about everything from the length of my eyelashes to the shape of my toes. It seems way too important at the time for something that usually you can't do anything about.
I stressed a little about my face.. But apart from that, my attitude has always been, 'I'm a woman!' and if other people don't see that, it's not my problem.. I never stressed too much about passing - I knew that it would happen.. I also don't see being trans as the worst thing that has happened in my life.. My dodgy hearing is a bigger issue for me..
Quote from: kelly_aus on April 29, 2014, 08:33:58 PM
I stressed a little about my face.. But apart from that, my attitude has always been, 'I'm a woman!' and if other people don't see that, it's not my problem.. I never stressed too much about passing - I knew that it would happen.. I also don't see being trans as the worst thing that has happened in my life.. My dodgy hearing is a bigger issue for me..
We share the hearing thing... 4 surgeries on my right ear. Left is good enough to use the phone but both of them ring non-stop.
On the handwriting issue, don't worry about it. I used to read articles about what your handwriting says about you and that you can tell if it's a woman or man who wrote it. Now I know it's a load of rubbish.
We were sorting out some things in the attic to see what we could throw out and I came across a box of stuff. Inside were items belonging to my husband's parents who died several years ago. There were dozens of sheets of paper with a story written on them. The handwriting style was beautiful, very tiny and perfectly formed flowing words following a straight line across the unlined pages.
I didn't read it but just looked and thought: "I wish my handwriting was that good. That's so beautiful."
I turned and said to my husband: "Hey, I've found a story written by your mum." He looked at it and said: "No, that's my dad, he liked writing stories."
I told him his dad had beautiful handwriting. I could only imagine it being written by a delicate woman.
His dad was a tough engineer!!
So don't worry about your handwriting, just make sure people can read what you have written and it is spelt correctly. :laugh:
Caroline
x
Quote from: IamNotxChristine on April 29, 2014, 06:37:32 PM
In ten years ill be 50...wow
I won't worry about clothes snd looking hot
Sorry, but you will. ;)
Caroline
x
Whether my voice will be bad one day, I've noticed I can't really screw it up unless I try. At worst I sound like I used to smoke a lot. I worked full time in a fairly busy call center for 8 months and was never sir'd on the phone. Now I don't worry about it.
My forehead. I'm cheating, since I figured out in five years not to worry about it. :) I obsessed about having a huge forehead and it being a dead giveaway... until the day I noticed my sister and mother had the exact same forehead. Heh.
Quote from: Ducks on April 29, 2014, 08:19:41 PM
Hey, I had surgery when I was 30! ::) When you're 30 you won't worry about being 30, you'll worry about being 40 :)
XD! Haha yea Most likely.
Serious question for those that are passed everything. How did you stop caring about things like feet, hand size, height and shoulders? I mean if it wasn't an issue before, I get it, but transitioning can't change these things. Something tells me I'll always be dysphoric about stuff like this.
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on April 30, 2014, 03:40:13 AM
Whether my voice will be bad one day, I've noticed I can't really screw it up unless I try. At worst I sound like I used to smoke a lot. I worked full time in a fairly busy call center for 8 months and was never sir'd on the phone. Now I don't worry about it.
I look forward to that and you have my envy, lol. My friend told me that she can't even switch into her old voice without it hurting her. Right now, it takes effort for me to feel my voice is even remotely female sounding and it still doesn't. Still, I have been getting mistaken as female over the phone lately which is confusing as hell because I sound like a gay guy. Oh well, this too shall pass.
LTL : I wish I had a better answer, but for me it was just time, and having other things in life to focus on. That, and listening to cis female friends go on and on with their lists of things they hated about their bodies. Sure, those things weren't "masculine markers" (most of the time - there's one woman who hates her narrow hips), but a few years of not being outed by the various body parts I obsessed over and I had to concede that they weren't really masculine on me either. I was just afraid they were.
There's still occasional moments where I'm not happy with my brow bossing or lack of waist or whatever, but more and more there's all the other annoying details of normal life getting in the way of those thoughts. :)
Oh, and I was afraid I was way too tall at 5'8", but there's plenty of women in my area my height or taller (and most of the men make me feel short!). So that one depends on context.
I know I'm just starting and doing the whole worrying about shoulders, etc..., but my feet are a larger problem. It's not that I don't think they look feminine enough (though that thought does cross my mind some), its that my feet are too big. I have a hard time finding shoes that fit locally. I wear a 13/14 womens, and most stores only go up to 10.5/11. Have any of ya'll dealt with this particular issue?
Quote from: Ravensong on May 01, 2014, 12:25:54 AM
I know I'm just starting and doing the whole worrying about shoulders, etc..., but my feet are a larger problem. It's not that I don't think they look feminine enough (though that thought does cross my mind some), its that my feet are too big. I have a hard time finding shoes that fit locally. I wear a 13/14 womens, and most stores only go up to 10.5/11. Have any of ya'll dealt with this particular issue?
Lots of us feel your pain there.
It's not a passing issue. I've never seen anyone clocked because of their feet. It's just really depressing being stuck shopping for shoes at Payless and the internet because not a single brick-and-mortar department store carries above a size 11, and even then their size-11 selection is basically worthless. I want to go shopping for cute shoes like the other girls, damn it! :'( (I'm an 11W by the way...)
Again, though, not worth worrying about. Lots of tall cis-girls have the exact same problem. Female feet have been getting bigger for a long time now, but department stores haven't kept pace. It's not a trans-exclusive problem, it's just a reality of life for a lot of tall girls.
In fact, it's actually pretty common for girls with big feet to just shop in the men's section because they get fed up with it.
I feel you guys on the feet - I am just in at 10 so it isn't as bad for me, but it isn't cute girl feet either. I often buy out of the men's shoe department because women's shoes are often so poorly made they won't last a year, especially hiking boots and trail runners. I can live without that little pink accent stripe if I can get stiches that hold up. It never has been an issue and nobody has ever even noticed.
Thanks. I wasn't sure how widespread my issue was, because I've always been a bit...stocky...with larger feet, and it *seems* like most transwomen were on the smaller side to begin with.
Quote from: learningtolive on April 29, 2014, 07:07:55 PM
Yeah, I'll be 35. YAY! Seriously, that is major depressing.
Yeah, my life sucks. Thanks for reminding me. (Aged over 35). :(
Quote from: Ryan55 on April 29, 2014, 07:28:43 PM
i'll be 33 in 10 years....starting to feel a little bit old
Speaking for the 30+ yolds here... you know, it's honestly not that bad. Don't spend your time worrying about the impending doom.
I'm 34 and there are many things better now than 24 - like financial independence, more self-confidence. And I still look pretty hot in heels. :)
I'm happy to say I can add - getting clocked by your doctor to the list! I went in for menopausal HRT and he wasn't going to even test my levels or prescribe anything, so I asked about GRS being a reason, he said no, insurance won't pay for that and we don't do that in our practice... I said, "no, I had GRS in 1988, will that be a reason I might need estrogen replacement?" He was completely unaware and had no idea. He thanked me for opening up to him and ordered my blood work right away.
Quote from: __________ on May 02, 2014, 10:47:01 AM
Yeah, my life sucks. Thanks for reminding me. (Aged over 35). :(
Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on May 02, 2014, 03:08:12 PM
%^& You* :) I just turned 36 and life is still full of fun and possibilities :).
* no ill or personal stuff intended :)
I didn't intend to say being 35 is bad, more than I'm upset about aging in general. At the end of the day, most of us don't look forward to getting any more older, let alone 10 years older than our currentt age, so it's not intended as a slight against people that are older than I am. Sorry if my remarks were triggering, I didn't intend for that. If it means anything, I'm quite depressed at 25 with little hope for it'll get better, so age need not be a factor in happiness.
Quote from: learningtolive on May 05, 2014, 03:58:40 PM
Quote from: __________ on May 02, 2014, 10:47:01 AM
Yeah, my life sucks. Thanks for reminding me. (Aged over 35). :(
Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on May 02, 2014, 03:08:12 PM
%^& You* :) I just turned 36 and life is still full of fun and possibilities :).
* no ill or personal stuff intended :)
I didn't intend to say being 35 is bad, more than I'm upset about aging in general. At the end of the day, most of us don't look forward to getting any more older, let alone 10 years older than our currentt age, so it's not intended as a slight against people that are older than I am. Sorry if my remarks were triggering, I didn't intend for that. If it means anything, I'm quite depressed at 25 with little hope for it'll get better, so age need not be a factor in happiness.
Well, at least I'm not alone. I felt that way at your age. 24 was probably my worst year for it. I was horrified at turning 25. I guess I've always had this kind of age dysphoria. Starting from about 12. I think it started with trans issues (being terrified of growing up into a woman) and was exacerbated by women's issues. I don't think I'm off too far off the mark because it seems not uncommon for trans people.
Anyway, I know I've said this a lot. :laugh: But that's because I need to move past it. When you're focused on a chronological number and defining yourself by it, you're not living. That's what I did for a long time.
You know what rocks about being 45? It's way better than the alternative.
No whining about your age until you hit your fifties, that should be the rule.
Quote from: defective snowflake on May 05, 2014, 04:12:25 PM
No whining about your age until you hit your fifties, that should be the rule.
My septuagenarian parents are laughing. Your age is a testament to your ability to avoid the reaper. Own it! Besides, I'd give my left nut to look like Christie Brinkley now. And the right one...
Quote from: FA on May 05, 2014, 04:08:26 PM
I didn't intend to say being 35 is bad, more than I'm upset about aging in general. At the end of the day, most of us don't look forward to getting any more older, let alone 10 years older than our currentt age, so it's not intended as a slight against people that are older than I am. Sorry if my remarks were triggering, I didn't intend for that. If it means anything, I'm quite depressed at 25 with little hope for it'll get better, so age need not be a factor in happiness.
Well, at least I'm not alone. I felt that way at your age. 24 was probably my worst year for it. I was horrified at turning 25. I guess I've always had this kind of age dysphoria. Starting from about 12. I think it started with trans issues (being terrified of growing up into a woman) and was exacerbated by women's issues. I don't think I'm off too far off the mark because it seems not uncommon for trans people.
Anyway, I know I've said this a lot. :laugh: But that's because I need to move past it. When you're focused on a chronological number and defining yourself by it, you're not living. That's what I did for a long time.
25 was bad. 27 was when I decided I had officially become old, I felt so crushed by that bday. Since then it has been a process of coming more and more to terms with my oldness.
Quote from: Jen on May 05, 2014, 04:17:44 PM
Quote from: FA on May 05, 2014, 04:08:26 PM
I didn't intend to say being 35 is bad, more than I'm upset about aging in general. At the end of the day, most of us don't look forward to getting any more older, let alone 10 years older than our currentt age, so it's not intended as a slight against people that are older than I am. Sorry if my remarks were triggering, I didn't intend for that. If it means anything, I'm quite depressed at 25 with little hope for it'll get better, so age need not be a factor in happiness.
Well, at least I'm not alone. I felt that way at your age. 24 was probably my worst year for it. I was horrified at turning 25. I guess I've always had this kind of age dysphoria. Starting from about 12. I think it started with trans issues (being terrified of growing up into a woman) and was exacerbated by women's issues. I don't think I'm off too far off the mark because it seems not uncommon for trans people.
Anyway, I know I've said this a lot. :laugh: But that's because I need to move past it. When you're focused on a chronological number and defining yourself by it, you're not living. That's what I did for a long time.
25 was bad. 27 was when I decided I had officially become old, I felt so crushed by that bday. Since then it has been a process of coming more and more to terms with my oldness.
For you, do you think it was a trans thing, a female thing, or something else?
Gosh I don't know. It didn't feel at the time like it was anything but my own hangups, but now that you mention it, those things probably played a role. My first steps toward transition happened that year. I doubt that was a coincidence. And female wise, just in retrospect, I feel by waiting till after That age I denied myself the best years to be female in this society.
I think they are tied in there somewhere even if it wasn't super-conscious at the time.
Don't want to derail... anybody mind if I split this?
Seems like it might be a great idea. :)
everyone is so young here and still worried about a piece of physics that can't be changed.
Quote from: Jill F on May 05, 2014, 04:15:48 PM
I'd give my left nut to look like Christie Brinkley now. And the right one...
As if you're all that attached to them!
Quote from: Dee Marshall on May 05, 2014, 06:08:50 PM
As if you're all that attached to them!
Sadly, I will be until July 15.