So there I am stopping by the doctor to get some paperwork for my other doctor. I could argh about doctors, but not this day...
Anyway, there's a this girl at the counter, she was on her way out. Because I know this doctor deals with trans patients, and I was pretty sure she was trans. And therein is the problem. We are the group that has the highest incidence of suicide (not to mention violence from others and all the nasty behavior) and yet when I see a brother or sister what's the proper response? Nothing. Do not say a word or risk outing them (or at least increase their anxiety because they got clocked and maybe others will clock them too). Completely understandable. I get the why of it.
And yet. We are the one group of people that doesn't want to be recognized by or associated with each other. We hide even from each other.
Again, I totally get the logic. I also no that I'm no different, I don't want to stick out when I'm out and about (though I still present as male). But. But. But. AAARRRRRGH!
Sometimes I just want to give some sign that says "I think you're cool" and "I've got your back, sister (or brother)." Maybe like a gang sign (I threw up a triangle for my homies) or the nose brush like in con game movies.
It won't change, I know it. But still...
You're all pretty damn cool.
I've got your back.
-Claire (shhhhhh)
In that situation, I treat them the same as I would anyone who interested me as a person and whom I wanted know better. I'd start up a conversation and see if we had anything in common. If the person is trans, it will come when that person thinks it's appropriate to tell me.
I went to my endo as Grace for the first time this week, all previous visits were in dude mode and there were always other trans women who I was dying to chat with.. This was the first time there were no other trans people in the waiting room, it was rather anti climactic! Many months ago there was a gorgeous woman there, had I been in girl mode myself I definitely would have thought about asking her if she would like to grab a coffee or something but since I was in guy mode I kept myself to myself.
Suzi, I would too. :D I offered a smile and went on with my business. I simply lament the necessity of being so very isolationist at a time in our lives when support is so very important. Plus any people having ANYTHING else in common (being LGBQIA or collecting stamps or whatever) would immediately be able to talk about it no matter the setting. We, sadly, cannot.
Grace, isn't that always the way? ;)