1 day post op and I couldn't be happier with my decision. But I already feel alone. My mom forgot my surgery date (which doesn't surprise me) and my gf doesn't seem to care about caring for me. I'm not supposed to be lifting anything or having much movement but I can't help it. I have limited help. Feeling down.
I'm sorry to hear that :(
*hugs*
Was your girlfriend supportive?
Sending a lightly given hug.
Not everyone can handle change, just do your best with what you can physically do.
Izzy
Sorry to hear that, mate. Chin up - you've accomplished a milestone in your life. It's about you now, not others. Look to yourself for validation - not those on the outside.
One the one hand it totally sucks that you don't have more help on the other hand it's awesome you just had your surgery. I wish I could come over and help out. I hate it when people have to struggle through alone. This is temporary though, so hang in there.
Actually depression can be side effect from general anesthesia and will go away quickly. So it's ok if you feel a little sad, think about all the fun you will have once you heal!
Quote from: f_Anna_tastic on May 02, 2014, 08:01:52 AM
I'm sorry to hear that :(
*hugs*
Was your girlfriend supportive?
Thanks for all the love guys it does make me feel better. And yes she has been supportive. But idk what her issue is.
Also know that post-op depression is quite common even if everything in your life is perfect. I haven't read up on this; maybe it has to do with stress hormones or anesthesia or something.
Partners sometimes have mixed feelings--and often unexpected ones--about our surgeries. For example, my partner had already broken up with me by the time I had my surgery, but he insisted on doing aftercare such as emptying my drains. People say, "Oh, that was sweet of him," but the whole thing was so awkward that I really would rather have done it myself. He wouldn't have it. So I let him. And every time I saw his face, I felt so bad. Yeah, we weren't together anymore, but I could tell that he was hurting every time he fiddled with my drains or even saw my flat, flat chest.
But no matter what happens...
YOU DID IT!!! CONGRATULATIONS!
Quote from: Arch on May 02, 2014, 11:06:45 AM
Also know that post-op depression is quite common even if everything in your life is perfect. I haven't read up on this; maybe it has to do with stress hormones or anesthesia or something.
Partners sometimes have mixed feelings--and often unexpected ones--about our surgeries. For example, my partner had already broken up with me by the time I had my surgery, but he insisted on doing aftercare such as emptying my drains. People say, "Oh, that was sweet of him," but the whole thing was so awkward that I really would rather have done it myself. He wouldn't have it. So I let him. And every time I saw his face, I felt so bad. Yeah, we weren't together anymore, but I could tell that he was hurting every time he fiddled with my drains or even saw my flat, flat chest.
But no matter what happens...
YOU DID IT!!! CONGRATULATIONS!
I hear this quite often when couples split before surgery. I don't understand it. But I am very proud of myself and thanks. Lol when I woke up (still all drugged) I told the nurse it was all over and that I was a G! Lol.
congrats on your surgery! Do you have any other friends or relatives who might want to help out a bit?
I am recovering from hip surgery and I used this website where people could sign up for dates that they wanted to come over and feed me/help me with stuff. It can be nice when you're recovering just to have a friend come over visit, even if it's just for an hour.
http://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/
Ethedon: :) I feel happy for you! Cheer up! Be strong bro, even if you are going through this by yourself, you should be proud of it!
Timo thanks. I do feel better now. I can do more than I thought I could but still taking it easy. Just can't wait to get these bandages off.
Quote from: Ethedon on May 03, 2014, 12:20:49 PM
Timo thanks. I do feel better now. I can do more than I thought I could but still taking it easy. Just can't wait to get these bandages off.
Put this in the context of your whole life. Really, I am 6 months post-op. I can remember top surgery specifically, but now I just look at stuff and think how good it looks. I have to really work to think about how much discomfort and so on. You aren't going to be in discomfort forever. Just keep your eyes on the prize, so to speak.
--Jay
I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling alone right now, and wish that your mom and gf were more supportive, but congrats on having the surgery! What others have said is true, post-surgery depression happens quite often. I think once you heal a bit more it will feel better, and won't bother you so much - it's frustrating when you're in pain/discomfort and simple things are harder than usual.
Feeling better now? FWIW, if that's your pic in the avatar, you're looking PDG.
Yes I feel a lot better and yes thanks! I guess in the mist of feeling scared cuz I took a huge step I was feeling neglected too. But I'm better. :)
Glad you are doing better. You took a huge step, man.
It sounds like a combo of things. The anesthesia, plus a big change no matter how great it is (and it is awesome), and then having your gf act a bit differently.
In a couple days I bet you'll be celebrating.
I'm glad you're feeling a bit better though.
Are the bandages off?
I've never heard of the anesthesia having a negative affect til now but I guess it played a part in it. My bandages are off finally. Which were incredibly tight. I love my results. I'm concerned about my back because I only used a binder for 4 months prior and I've developed a hunch in my back. I really hope this goes away.
Quote from: Ethedon on May 11, 2014, 01:34:58 PM
I've never heard of the anesthesia having a negative affect til now but I guess it played a part in it. My bandages are off finally. Which were incredibly tight. I love my results. I'm concerned about my back because I only used a binder for 4 months prior and I've developed a hunch in my back. I really hope this goes away.
Yeah anesthesia is serious stuff so obviously it can be hard to get over for some people. I had no depression, fortunately, but I was quite out of it afterwards. All to be expected. I really think that they should warn people about this as a lot of people are not aware. Perhaps they don't want to give people ideas? I have heard of them lasting for months. If you are feeling depressed after 6-12 months you should see a therapist, as Id' guess something else is going on.
I'm going to guess your back has got to heal. But you should be walking taller!!
Happy for your surgery buddy, and glad you are happy with the results. :)
--Jay
Quote from: aleon515 on May 03, 2014, 01:44:43 PM
Put this in the context of your whole life. Really, I am 6 months post-op. I can remember top surgery specifically, but now I just look at stuff and think how good it looks. I have to really work to think about how much discomfort and so on. You aren't going to be in discomfort forever. Just keep your eyes on the prize, so to speak.
--Jay
This is a good point. I always view pain this way. In a week or month or whatever, I won't even remember what this pain was! I focus on that in a sort of medidative way.
But yeah, you get through this stuff. I live alone and had no help whatsoever and didn't need it. Sometimes having someone there can be like a crutch making you think you need them when you really don't. There's plenty of us who managed alone.
Hope things keep getting better for you!
Quote from: Jack_M on May 11, 2014, 06:27:34 PM
But yeah, you get through this stuff. I live alone and had no help whatsoever and didn't need it. Sometimes having someone there can be like a crutch making you think you need them when you really don't. There's plenty of us who managed alone.
Hope things keep getting better for you!
I didn't really need much help at all. I had a friend come in, and then it got to be more of annoyance to me, I had her do things where there was actually carrying stuff heavier than 5-10 lbs. IMO, there isn't that much you need help with. I saw a couple guys getting waited on hand in glove, I felt that in some ways they took longer to heal and were more dependent and more focused on having difficulty.
--Jay