Hi, everyone.
Let me start by saying that I am a little new to this scene. I have felt male for as long as I can remember, but not until recently did I actually decided to go through with it. With that being said, I am completely lost on how to "pass." Any tips from more experienced ftms would be greatly appreciated!
Also, I am about 5 months shy of my 18th, and my parents do not exactly approve, so I cannot change anything permanently...yet. Thanks again!
Phoenix
Hi, and welcome! :)
There are plenty of things you can do. You don't need to do all of them, and you don't need to do them all at once... but you could try them out to see how you get on with them.
- Cut your hair in an androgynous style... or if you're feeling brave, a downright masculine style.
- Change your personal grooming products to male ones.
- Think about whether you're ready to stop shaving your legs and pits. It can be incredibly liberating to let go of needing to do this... and it gives you a nice little holiday from shaving before you start T. ;)
- Discard or put into storage any female clothing. Make a commitment to wear only male clothing. If you can't do that yet, do a recon mission to see who sells items in your size, so that you can start buying men's clothing as soon as you're ready.
- If you can't change your outer clothing, you can change your undergarments. Buy some men's underwear & socks, and wear them exclusively. Nobody needs to know.
- Think about what you'd like to be called. You can work on your permanent name for as long as you need, and you could pick a gender-neutral or masculine nickname to use until you make the change.
- If you can, buy a binder. The FtM forum here has some good recommendations. Having a flatter chest helps you pass without doing anything permanent, as does layering your shirts.
- Consider whether you'd like to use a packer in your underwear to give you a bulge. You could start by trying a rolled-up sock to see how you feel about having something there, and if you enjoy it you could buy a proper packer. Again, the FtM forum here has some ideas of the kinds of packers you can get and where you can buy them (they're in the 'FTM Gear' childboard).
- Observe typical male behaviour: body language, posture, gestures, tone of voice, subject matter. Start emulating the bits you like.
- Facial jewellery is a bit controversial: depending on your appearance, it can make you look more feminine. See how you look with and without jewellery (including earrings) and decide whether you ought to wear any.
- If you wear glasses, consider changing them for a male style.
- If you have any friends you can trust, consider coming out to them. Having a little space in which you can be yourself will make it much easier to cope with your less-than-accepting family.
- In the next 5 months, do some research into what would be required to transition where you are. How do you change your name? Get hormones? Have surgery? etc. Do you want these things? How will you pay for them? The more prepared you are, the sooner you can start.
- Above all else, be patient. Transition is called 'the journey' for a reason: it takes a long time (usually several years) to fully transition, and it happens in tiny little baby steps.
Your parents may not approve just yet, but I presume that in 5 months' time you'll be an adult who can make his own decisions. You may face some uphill from them at that point, but you have every right to be yourself. And your parents may come round eventually.
Good luck!
Thank you for all of the great advice! I am even more excited to start on this journey, and I am glad to have found somewhere that I can talk to other people who understand. :) once I start, I will post some pictures and hopefully get more advice on how to pass specifically. :p Thank you again! I really appreciate it.