Quote from: morticia on July 19, 2007, 08:12:33 PM
You mean the avatar? Oh dear god, I WISH I looked half that good.
That's just a stock avatar the system has here.
I'm so ashamed of my ugly mug that I hide indoors all the time with the curtains drawn.
I'm embarrassed to even go to the grocery store. Looking in the mirror makes me cry because there's someone there that's NOT me, but some horrid, ugly male. For me, I put FFS as the ultimate priority. SRS will naturally follow.
I'm on the path again. This time it's do or die.
It's very misleading and I am in constant thought that most people in here look really fantastic and genetic and it makes me feel insecure about my own looks. It's very confusing and I don't know who is real and who is presenting a false image of themselves. I thought you were gorgeous until this confession. I know Rachael and Melissa are real and a lot of others are too........can people on the forum please be honest with their photographs or just post a pic of their pet like a dog or cat in their aviator so we have a better idea what people are posting their real picture's and the one's who prefer to be anonymous..
Quote from: Berliegh on July 20, 2007, 09:11:13 AM
It's very misleading and I am in constant thought that most people in here look really fantastic and genetic and it makes me feel insecure about my own looks.
Are you kidding? I thought you were one of the fantastic looking ones. :) I feel insecure about my own looks at times, but that's usually due to comparing myself with GGs. I'm just happy that I pass well without having undergone any surgeries.
Quote from: Berliegh on July 20, 2007, 09:11:13 AMI know Rachael and Melissa are real and a lot of others are too........
Yep, I'm real. I've been on susans since I began my transition a year and three quarters ago. Eventually you get to know which people have real avatars and which do not. If it helps, you can browse through the stock avatars to give you an idea of which ones are not real.
Quote from: Melissa on July 20, 2007, 09:30:22 AM
Are you kidding? I thought you were one of the fantastic looking ones. :) I feel insecure about my own looks at times, but that's usually due to comparing myself with GGs. I'm just happy that I pass well without having undergone any surgeries.
Me? look fantastic? no way, I don't think so......but I do try to look natural and an everyday kind of person (hopefully)..
Quote from: Melissa on July 20, 2007, 09:30:22 AM
Yep, I'm real. I've been on susans since I began my transition a year and three quarters ago. Eventually you get to know which people have real avatars and which do not. If it helps, you can browse through the stock avatars to give you an idea of which ones are not real.
Why is there a selection of beautiful ladies pictures as stock aviators? is it so people can lie and pretend they are someone else. I don't like it and it makes us genuine folk feel insecure about how we look.
Photos like u discribe, peoples real photos can b very incouraging that peole like u and i stand a chance of passing, that mascalin features can feminised. As u say thats y ffs is so important but we must not for get people buy the package and not just your features n looks.
yes, I am really a unicorn. ::)
Just thought I would clear the air.
Jessica
Quote from: Berliegh on July 20, 2007, 09:40:06 AM
Quote from: Melissa on July 20, 2007, 09:30:22 AM
Are you kidding? I thought you were one of the fantastic looking ones. :) I feel insecure about my own looks at times, but that's usually due to comparing myself with GGs. I'm just happy that I pass well without having undergone any surgeries.
Me? look fantastic? no way, I don't think so......but I do try to look natural and an everyday kind of person (hopefully)..
Quote from: Melissa on July 20, 2007, 09:30:22 AM
Yep, I'm real. I've been on susans since I began my transition a year and three quarters ago. Eventually you get to know which people have real avatars and which do not. If it helps, you can browse through the stock avatars to give you an idea of which ones are not real.
Why is there a selection of beautiful ladies pictures as stock aviators? is it so people can lie and pretend they are someone else. I don't like it and it makes us genuine folk feel insecure about how we look.
I really don't see why you should feel insecure, Berliegh. As Melissa said, you do look fantastic. You just look like an everyday genetic woman I'd see walking her dog in my neighborhood. And I know it ain't the camera angle or the lighting, because you've used other avatars of you.
But that's women for you. ::)
Quote from: Berliegh on July 20, 2007, 09:40:06 AM
Me? look fantastic? no way, I don't think so......but I do try to look natural and an everyday kind of person (hopefully)..
Yep, you do look very natural. That's one reasons you look fantastic.
Quote from: Berliegh on July 20, 2007, 09:40:06 AMWhy is there a selection of beautiful ladies pictures as stock aviators? is it so people can lie and pretend they are someone else. I don't like it and it makes us genuine folk feel insecure about how we look.
The photos have been here since before I joined. I think it's helps people who have not even begun to transition at least get a bit of relief by being seen as a beautiful woman online. When I first joined, I used some stock photo for a bit and then eventually took one of myself wearing a wig and makeup. I left that up for quite a while and then after I had been on hormones for a bit and my hair had grown some, I took the plunge and took a natural photo of myself without a wig or breast forms. As I continued improving, I just kept updating my photo. I did use my fairy avatar for a while as my avatar, but I eventually changed it back.
My point is that for some people who really aren't passable, it provides a sense of security. Unfortunately, many of those individuals suffer dysphoria in everyday life because they don't look like those photos. I'm now proud of what I look like, so I like using my real photo.
Trust me Gina havin my photo as my avatar would not b pritty. Talkin to Lucy and a photo of a 30 year old man. (I DONT THINK SO)
Quote from: regina on July 20, 2007, 11:54:46 AMI know this isn't a discussion about avatars, but it does have to do with self-image. Just my opinion—I don't think using someone else's pic as your avatar is a good for your image of yourself. To me, transitioning is all about finally dealing with realities. The reality of what kind of woman you are and will be. Presenting oneself as something other than who you are doesn't really help that process and will only make it harder when it does come time to show the world what you look like. Especially when people use avatars that are yonger, more femmy looking and prettier than they are, it's very hard to develop a sense of self-acceptance that's key to transitioning. Again, just speaking for myself, I would rather not see an avatar than see one that doesn't match the current reality of that person.
While I agree with your overall message, for many people, just joining susan's and posting is a step towards self acceptance. Self acceptance does not happen overnight, it must be done in smaller steps. For some people, it can take years. Using a picture of themselves is a huge step towards self acceptance, but not all are ready to do that yet. I personally like seeing some photo rather than none because it makes threads much easier to scan if you are looking for a particular person's post.
I really am elvin ;D
I used real photos for my avatars for a while, then stopped because of potential privacy issues. I'm sure I'll use another real photo again. Sure wouldn't mind a little photoshop on the bald spot though :(
zythyra
QuoteMe? look fantastic? no way, I don't think so......but I do try to look natural and an everyday kind of person (hopefully)..
Well, on my scale (if I met you in a bar, would I want to take you home?) I think you look great. ::)
But a lot of people not only are not comfortable about their looks, some of us worry about our pics getting stolen, which is why I
never post pics on line. I've traded pics with people that I know and trust, but putting it out there where anyone can 'hack' it does not work for me.
I've seen what happens to photo's that get doctored by trolls, and it is not pretty. My photo would be a coup for some of trolls where I normally post, because I troll the trolls. They would sacrifice their first born to get my pic.
omg, my face might be stolen? crap, im starting to like it...
yes, i use my face as my avitar because i want to get attention and show everyone how god damn amazing i am... OBVIOUSLY...
I don't want to show my face because I don't want people to yell at me in public and say I am not a real transsexual.
::)
The real reason is, I don't really want to be identified as a transsexual just for everyone to see (esp the non trans lurkers) so i am not going to post how i look like, but you can see half of my face, your job is to guess what the other half looks like. =p
That's not to say I don't have my pics posted on the internet, I just don't want to post it all over the web.
oh oh oh, like a mouth and chin? do i get a prize? ^-^
Quote from: Rachael on July 20, 2007, 03:16:51 PM
oh oh oh, like a mouth and chin? do i get a prize? ^-^
My chin is VERY female, of course. Leave me alone! lol.
did i say it wasnt???? :o paranoia luv... :angel:
Quote from: regina on July 20, 2007, 03:09:25 PM
Look, it ain't on the same level of importance as 50 million other issues, but... I've seen people on forums who used certain photos for years and were then paranoid about what the reaction would be when they showed their real face. I don't believe it helps people come to terms with the reality of transition if not the opposite. If someone needs an image, use a unicorn or Hello Kitty or whatever, but putting a face (especially a way prettier/younger one) that isn't your own is kind of misrepresentation. As someone else said, it also makes other people who are starting out overwhelmed at how 'gorgeous' so many transitioners are and even more despairing about ever reaching that level. I also believe that some people knowingly do it to get status and attention from other forum participants or to come off as something they're not (eg younger).
Again, I am not disagreeing with you, I was merely explaining (as a devil's advocate) how they *might* provide some benefit to people (say a pretransitional trans-woman who looks completely male) with a means of "instantly" changing their look. However, I do agree that some kind of cartoon or non-photographic representation might be more beneficial to a would-be transitioner.
On a different forum that I joined, I found a photo of another woman that I liked and used that. Soon I began receiving compliments about how good I looked. I told them that picture wasn't really of me and quickly changed it to my real one. Thereafter, whenever I received compliments about how good I looked, it really boosted my self esteem. So, from personal experience, you are correct.
We don't have to always disagree on stuff, you know. ;)
Posted on: July 20, 2007, 02:24:41 PM
Quote from: Rachael on July 20, 2007, 02:11:28 PM
omg, my face might be stolen? crap, im starting to like it...
Yep, you better be careful. ;) http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/09/19/175236&from=rss
Quote from: Rachael on July 20, 2007, 03:16:51 PM
oh oh oh, like a mouth and chin? do i get a prize? ^-^
LOL :D
Quote from: asiangurliee on July 20, 2007, 03:18:28 PMMy chin is VERY female, of course. Leave me alone! lol.
You *did* tell her it was her job to guess what the other half of the picture under your arm looks like. She was just guessing you had a mouth and chin under that arm. ;) I'm not sure how you read that as her implying it may not be female. ::) Or maybe you did get it, made another joke, and neither of us got it. :P
the little photos are stock avitars from the forums :) (generally)
Quote from: Berliegh on July 20, 2007, 09:11:13 AM
It's very misleading and I am in constant thought that most people in here look really fantastic and genetic and it makes me feel insecure about my own looks. I know Rachael and Melissa are real and a lot of others are too........can people on the forum please be honest with their photographs or just post a pic of their pet like a dog or cat in their aviator so we have a better idea what people are posting their real picture's and the one's who prefer to be anonymous..
There was a topic about this subject not long ago. If you do a search it will explain it in a hepful way.
That being said, Berliegh, you are gorgeous! Truly! Why in the world world would you feel insecure? I was totally scared to post my first pic, but I got over it. Andt those here have seen my pic morph into what it looks like now, and have been helpful in my doing so. I'd like to see some more of your pics, and I think you are one incredibly gorgeous woman.
Kristi
I am not the person in the photo, I am actually the leather chair! :D
Wow, this subject being hashed out yet again. Must be a fave.
For those who missed my last post, the Internet is not anon. At one time it pretty much was but not any longer. Pictures and names can lead to addresses and with those an identity thief can cause much grief and havoc in one's life.
The world is a beautiful and dangerous place in which to live, work, play, love, cry, and dance in through the days. For many of you, you will not have had to deal with the much darker side of life. People like serial killers, serial rapists, and other assorted really nasty people that are few and far between in society. To those who never cross the line, you have my envy. For those who have, you would understand why some of us opt to not expose exactly who we are to the world. Think what you like but at least I will rest easier knowing that it is just a wee bit more difficult to be tracked. Mayhaps it is part of the PTSD from everything that has happened and then maybe it is something else entirely.
I do know that to judge someone based on a personal choice of whether or not to expose their image to the internet is pretty shallow. Will there be some who pass off as someone else? Yes and that is on them completely. A few have been exposed over the years and I am sure there are others waiting in the wings to do the same.
Regardless of that avatar I do know that I have laughed, cried, and shared other emotions that came through in our communications over the years. Will I ever meet anyone here? Probably not and that is largely a personal choice of mine as there are members pretty near to where I live and work. So I will take people at face value, whatever that face may be, until they give me a reason not to do so.
Oh and for those who are wondering, the avatar I use is actually from a piece of art out there on the 'Net but with a background I edited into it. I liked it. A mixture of attitude, happiness, and youth. All things I definitely can identify with even though it is not myself in that small square.
Quote from: Berliegh on July 20, 2007, 09:11:13 AM
It's very misleading and I am in constant thought that most people in here look really fantastic and genetic and it makes me feel insecure about my own looks. It's very confusing and I don't know who is real and who is presenting a false image of themselves. I thought you were gorgeous until this confession. I know Rachael and Melissa are real and a lot of others are too........can people on the forum please be honest with their photographs or just post a pic of their pet like a dog or cat in their aviator so we have a better idea what people are posting their real picture's and the one's who prefer to be anonymous..
Your picture isn't anything to worry about, you look like your getting good results so far. Just remember that your worst critic is always yourself.
I hope I can get good results when the time comes.
I would post my pictures here, but I haven't even started HRT yet. When I become confident I'm getting results, I'll post a real picture.
For now the best I can do is use my illustrations of "Marciel" as my avatar. In some ways it's still more personal than the stock photos though.
~Marciel
Anyone can use any picture they like. Be it of themself, or to represent their inner self. The picture can be real or artistic, it doesn't matter.
Quote from: Susan on July 20, 2007, 05:55:17 PM
Anyone can use any picture they like. Be it of themself, or to represent their inner self. The picture can be real or artistic, it doesn't matter.
As long as it doesn't violate any of the site rules. ;)
i think seeing what someone wants you to see is most revealing
where's that picture of nothing? I can't find it
Quote from: Pica Pica on July 20, 2007, 06:09:49 PM
i think seeing what someone wants you to see is most revealing
you can be really profund sometimes as well funny
Quote from: Kat on July 20, 2007, 05:06:00 PM
I am not the person in the photo, I am actually the leather chair! :D
that was a good one! :D :laugh:
Regina,
My photo is darkened because I
do feel like a hideous loathsome toad. It's all I got. I'm not transitioning and I certainly don't look the way I would like to even though I sometimes get compliments from the ladies - who then refuse to kiss me :'(
AddendumThe shame of exposing my half face to the human world in addition to the ghastly fear some of you were nice enough to instill within me concerning ID theft has caused me to post this unfinished business instead. If you see an eye thing with red around it, then you are looking into my real eye.
Now -
Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
I hope you're all happy now!!!! because, I am :)
The kitty on my avatar is Bast. She is indeed the Goddess of all cats and the protector of women and children. (Egyptian mythology)
tink :icon_chick:
For a long time I was selfconcious of avatar photos... for one I wasnt happy with my features, and for another there was the privacy issue... I didnt want to be outed....
I got over my fears and would post what I considder crummy pics of myself... cuz camaraphones dont like me and I can see all the features I still dont like in myself... but camara phone is all I have so its what you all will get :P
Ive been useing my avatar as a timeline of my transition... I have one from the beginning, one from the middle, one from right after fulltime, and one more recent..... The newest one will be the most awsome of all.. but I cant transfer it properly till I go and fix my laptop :(
Post what you want, show what you want... Just dont claim to be someone or something your not. Art, stock photos, personal photos, photos of friends... Just dont show us the pic of a super model and claim its you unless your willing to do a live webcam feed with me to prove it :P
At any given time, on any given TG bulletin board, there are usually one or two members of who are using someone else's photo and claiming it s their own. Usually, these people out themselves to the discerning because their pics do not change and their posts are vague and do not delve into detail.
I don't understand why people do this. A friend of mine did this, she stole a pic from someone at myspace. She even swore to me, it was her own pic, which looked like a movie star. In her case, I finally figured out she was very disturbed when I found out she was posting her fake pic at dating sites and meeting guys all over the country and defrauding them of money for surgery.
I am not sure what happened to her although it would not surprise me if she wound up dead or in jail.
Quote from: regina on July 20, 2007, 11:54:46 AM
Quote from: Melissa on July 20, 2007, 11:17:39 AM
My point is that for some people who really aren't passable, it provides a sense of security. Unfortunately, many of those individuals suffer dysphoria in everyday life because they don't look like those photos.
I know this isn't a discussion about avatars, but it does have to do with self-image. Just my opinion—I don't think using someone else's pic as your avatar is a good for your image of yourself. To me, transitioning is all about finally dealing with realities. The reality of what kind of woman you are and will be. Presenting oneself as something other than who you are doesn't really help that process and will only make it harder when it does come time to show the world what you look like. Especially when people use avatars that are younger, more femmy looking and prettier than they are, it's very hard to develop a sense of self-acceptance that's key to transitioning. Again, just speaking for myself, I would rather not see an avatar than see one that doesn't match the current reality of that person.
ciao,
Gina M.
I agree totally with you Gina. If you are Transsexual you should be dealing with reality not fantasy.
Posted on: July 21, 2007, 01:13:31 AM
Quote from: melissa90299 on July 21, 2007, 12:10:08 AM
At any given time, on any given TG bulletin board, there are usually one or two members of who are using someone else's photo and claiming it s their own. Usually, these people out themselves to the discerning because their pics do not change and their posts are vague and do not delve into detail.
I don't understand why people do this. A friend of mine did this, she stole a pic from someone at myspace. She even swore to me, it was her own pic, which looked like a movie star. In her case, I finally figured out she was very disturbed when I found out she was posting her fake pic at dating sites and meeting guys all over the country and defrauding them of money for surgery.
I am not sure what happened to her although it would not surprise me if she wound up dead or in jail.
Melissa, I've seen what you mention happen time and time again..
Quote from: Kristi on July 20, 2007, 05:04:02 PM
That being said, Berliegh, you are gorgeous! Truly! Why in the world world would you feel insecure? I was totally scared to post my first pic, but I got over it. Andt those here have seen my pic morph into what it looks like now, and have been helpful in my doing so. I'd like to see some more of your pics, and I think you are one incredibly gorgeous woman.
Kristi
Kristi.....you are definitely kidding about me! .....have you seen Debski.....now she is a gorgeous woman....
Quote from: Berliegh on July 21, 2007, 01:14:54 AM
Kristi.....you are definitely kidding about me! .....have you seen Debski.....now she is a gorgeous woman....
Berliegh, honey, what's your address? I think we need to send you a mirror. ;) And no, I'm not kidding one bit. Accept it and enjoy it.
Peace,
Kristi
<----- the real deal
It doesn't get any better than this ::)
Quote from: regina on July 21, 2007, 10:59:26 AM
Quote from: Pica Pica on July 20, 2007, 06:09:49 PM
i think seeing what someone wants you to see is most revealing
PP:
I totally agree with what you're saying... it's like a rorschach test which is interesting for gaining some insight into that person's psyche but perhaps not that helpful in connecting to them on a personal level. My personal needs are to see who I'm really communicating with or, at least, to let me create my own mental picture out of nothing without having it manipulated by someone else's manipulation of who they are.
[edited for brevity -the Reeb]
Perhaps I'm paranoid, but I don't buy the "personal expression of inner self" line that people always seem to say about their avatars that look totally different from themselves (and do you notice that no one ever chooses a photo of Eleanor Roosevelt, Coretta Scott King, Gertrude Stein or Emily Dickinson as their avatar??). Maybe there could be an element of magical thinking involved (I'll suddenly 'poof' wake up looking like this one day) but for adults, that's not a good route to take for healing, that's delusional.
ciao,
Gina M.
As a matter of fact, my eye happens to be red because I was up all night drinking with Emily Dickenson.
I like people using crazy pictures to represent their selves. If people need to see someone, they can request a photo or that a picture be put in the gallery. Maybe they could request a copy of their drivers license or drinking ID. I would ask that it be notarized.
Quote from: regina on July 21, 2007, 10:59:26 AM
Perhaps I'm paranoid, but I don't buy the "personal expression of inner self" line that people always seem to say about their avatars that look totally different from themselves (and do you notice that no one ever chooses a photo of Eleanor Roosevelt, Coretta Scott King, Gertrude Stein or Emily Dickinson as their avatar??).
While I understand what you are saying, but why is "personal expression of inner self" not palatable? I chose an anime avatar at first that reflected how I felt and later switched to my existing avatar for personal reasons. Apart from being cute the wolf is symbolic to me.
But this said, I would hope that my words are untrodden by my physical appearance because to be honest what I look like is not what I feel like. Or as I see it, my physical reflection is misleading.
*shrug*Anyway, just another perspective on the topic, for what it is worth.
Sand in the wind...
(=
again? i guess some are really obsessed with this topic.. ::)
that's me on the left. either take it or leave it.
Quote from: Kristi on July 21, 2007, 08:25:21 AM
Quote from: Berliegh on July 21, 2007, 01:14:54 AM
Kristi.....you are definitely kidding about me! .....have you seen Debski.....now she is a gorgeous woman....
Berliegh, honey, what's your address? I think we need to send you a mirror. ;) And no, I'm not kidding one bit. Accept it and enjoy it.
Peace,
Kristi
Kristi, Judging by your photograph you have nothing to worry about either. You look a lot feminine than I ever could.
Posted on: July 21, 2007, 11:46:47 AM
Quote from: Kristi on July 21, 2007, 08:25:21 AM
Quote from: Berliegh on July 21, 2007, 01:14:54 AM
Kristi.....you are definitely kidding about me! .....have you seen Debski.....now she is a gorgeous woman....
Berliegh, honey, what's your address? I think we need to send you a mirror. ;) And no, I'm not kidding one bit. Accept it and enjoy it.
Peace,
Kristi
Come on Kristi, going by your photograph you look a lot more feminine than I ever could. I'll try and put in a closer aviatior...
Quote from: regina on July 21, 2007, 10:59:26 AM
Quote from: Pica Pica on July 20, 2007, 06:09:49 PM
i think seeing what someone wants you to see is most revealing
PP:
I totally agree with what you're saying... it's like a rorschach test which is interesting for gaining some insight into that person's psyche but perhaps not that helpful in connecting to them on a personal level. My personal needs are to see who I'm really communicating with or, at least, to let me create my own mental picture out of nothing without having it manipulated by someone else's manipulation of who they are.
In reference to showing pictures and Internet safety... I might have said that 5-6 years ago (the avatar I use is the first picture of myself I've ever put up) but with Myspace, Google, YouTube, Friendster and every other image-laden site that's around, I think we're waaay beyond that period in Internet evolution. There are so many millions and millions of images out there for the stealing and manipulating that it makes what we put up here pretty meaningless. The key is doing it on a site that's non-searchable.
Perhaps I'm paranoid, but I don't buy the "personal expression of inner self" line that people always seem to say about their avatars that look totally different from themselves (and do you notice that no one ever chooses a photo of Eleanor Roosevelt, Coretta Scott King, Gertrude Stein or Emily Dickinson as their avatar??). Maybe there could be an element of magical thinking involved (I'll suddenly 'poof' wake up looking like this one day) but for adults, that's not a good route to take for healing, that's delusional.
My point is... if I thought I knew someone online, shared intimacies with them (which is what these sites are all about) and found out they'd been lying or misrepresenting who they were through an avatar or pictures, I wouldn't trust that person again even if I did have some compassion for their insecurity. And, again, for all the things one could be concerned with in this world (or even in dealing with transness) avatars are low,low, low on the list.
ciao,
Gina M.
I think most people use a stock avatar at first because they can't upload their own avatar until 15 posts. They want a picture of a woman and the stock avatars naturally only come in young and beautiful.
The stock avatars are all the same size. It's not hard to tell when it's a stock avatar. I really doubt it occurs to the pretty stock avatar users that someone might think it's them.
I think comfort with one's self is a major deal on this site. Everyone is comparing themselves to other people regardless of class or age, and that does not usually happen in the real world. OK, except maybe for advertising, or when a guy grabs a trophy wife. But women are women and obsessing seems to be the norm.
If I walked into a room and saw the women in these photo's, I'd be rubbing my hands together in glee. It's so funny that many of you have no idea how much power you have. You'll find out in due time, but until then, I enjoy the innocence of youth here on Susan's.
Beautiful women are rarely so sweet and personable.
i dont know, i have many 'beautiful friends who are lovely people...
er?
Stop it, Tink. You're scaring me again! :'(
I think I have told you more than what you are supposed to know...You're all smart. You know what I meant. ;D
tink :icon_chick:
I have a tendancy to change my avatar with my mood. Can you imagine if we all had to use pictures of ourselves and had to run around asking people to take our picture every time we wanted to do an update. And there are some of us who have trouble resizing our pics to fit as an avatar.
I do agree that stock avatars of young beautiful woman may be misleading but not everyone wants to be a cat in a bag. ;D Maybe I should use this one from 10 years ago.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhome1.gte.net%2Fres0kaor%2Fkaren05.jpg&hash=0c60deb9a5a8d73ecb37d317568a1b115f874feb)
Karen Lyn
Quote from: regina on July 21, 2007, 05:06:49 PM
Quote from: Nero on July 21, 2007, 12:00:44 PM
I think most people use a stock avatar at first because they can't upload their own avatar until 15 posts. They want a picture of a woman and the stock avatars naturally only come in young and beautiful.
Nero, bubby, you're only thinking about Susans. Most forums don't have that 15 post rule. And even then, you don't need an avatar to be on any forum. A lot of people who are on internet forums know how to size and crop a photo. You can easily obtain dozens of photos of Emily Dickinson just by Googling her name and clicking 'Images." And very often find one that's already the right size for an avatar.People don't do that because they want others to actually believe they look like a hottie engenue and they don't want people to think they look like Emily Dickinson. There are so many images of young women available on the Internet, I don't see that as being at all true that you're likely to recognize it.
I don't have an problem if someone is using Hello Kitty but if someone is using someone else's image, then that doesn't seem especially honest. See, people don't do this for a month or two... they do it for years on different forums to the point where that's how most people identify now identify them... it's almost like a brand logo. And, again, while I'm not saying it's fair or right but, very often being young and attractive gets you a status on trans forums and gets people to take your attitudes (about things like transitioning while young, living as a woman, passability) more seriously.
How would someone feel if a non-trans guy (->-bleeped-<-/fetishist/creep) showed up on a transwomen's forum, and used an avatar of a young woman to gain entrance and to lend credence to their story? Well, that happens ALL THE TIME. I can honestly say every forum I've ever seen has had some incident like that. Anywho, we can talk about the invasion of Iraq is this subject is getting tiring.
ciao,
Gina M.
Elevated status huh? (runs to upload avatar of Brad Pitt)
Quote from: None of the Above on July 21, 2007, 05:14:13 PM
should someone be disappointed if Nero turned out not to be The Great One (Gleason) in his avatar?
^-^
Well, seeing as I'm beginning to look more and more like him these days (cept I'm blonde), I don't think anyone would be all that upset. :laugh:
Quote from: Katia on July 21, 2007, 11:41:35 AMthat's me on the left. either take it or leave it.
Katia--So you were the model for that awesome romantic Goth image! I was so impressed when I saw it in my friend's LiveJournal--she took the QuizFarm quiz What subcategory of Goth fits you best? (http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=194602) and got that image(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fquizfarm.com%2Fimages%2F11485535751098112661_areyouGoth%255B1%255D.jpg&hash=5c4f476fb481ee4374a17dae2577a58016aa3a32) as a result, which represents "Romantic Goth -- You are a romantic goth, better known as a traditional goth. You are probably quickly identified as a goth by outsiders. Black lace, bats, and moonlit cemetaries are just a few of your favorite things." I loved the dress so much, I took the quiz too and got the same result. Where did you find that dress? I want one!
Key! If your biggest problem in life is obsessing whether people really look like their pics on-line, than I think you are doing pretty well for yourself.
If your ability to make friends in real life or to find romance in real life is tied to those pics, than I think you need to change your modus operandi. This is just a place to while away some time. It's not real. And so, it should be no surprise that some of the people might not be real either.
I don't believe anything I read on-line 100%. Everything about life in this century is surreal, so nothing should surprise anyone anymore.
What a bunch of nuts! Y'all are beyond quirky.
QuoteIn fact, she made an allusion that her vampire avatar at that time was her as well.
I looooooooooove the vampire avatar. num!
I just see it as all being in good fun, and I'm guessing that is why Susan made it part of the site. Not as a security screen. I don't take anything I see or read here all that seriously, unless, as you know, I feel like someone is getting "beat up" and then the gloves come off.
I'm not even going to guess how you came by the "pigtailed avatar." I don't want to believe that you can even do that with photoshop and some free time. ::yeek:: That is way beyond issues girlie-girl. That is downright scary as hell.
It's tempting to post my real image online but there are too many people in this city that know who I am and likely hate my guts. Also, I tend to be secretive on my personal life, even among the LGBT community. Those here who choose not to post their photos online, you're doing yourself a big favor. The Internet isn't as open or as safe as it used to be, and God knows who you're talking to online....
I can tell you though, my eyes don't glow in real life. ;D
Quote from: AshleyMichelle on July 21, 2007, 06:00:03 PM
oooh, hypatia, my greek is rusty....
You made a good stab at it, Ashley Michelle! It says:
Gyne eimai, akouete me bremeinwhich is my translation into Ancient Greek of the first line from a famous song by Helen Reddy.
Photos. The ultimate conceit.
If someone were to use someone else's photos, what good does that do unless they plan to maintain the deception online. It's quite easy to weed out impostors, but that's probably more relevant to internet chatting/dating. It seems pointless to get compliments on how one looks when that's not even your photo.
Regarding privacy... there are so many pics floating on the web, I don't think people are in that much danger. From my own position, I totally look different with makeup than without. I would not marry this photo of me with the real me. People would be shocked.
Mostly, the harshest critics are ourselves. People tell me that I pass, but I pooh-pooh them. Do they not see the jutting eyebrow ridge, the 5o'clock shadow that never leaves, the wrong angles.
Anyways, photos have a lot do with the right lighting. I take a zillion shots of myself, (up-angle, down-angle, more exposure, less expsoure), but only 2 or 3 are decent. The rest are horrific.
To me, what photos do best are an encouragement to others. I see all these gorgeous she-male porn stars and say to myself, if they can get there, so can I. On these forums, it is doubly more impressive because we get to talk to people behind the photos and can be inspired. I see many of the ladies here and say, wow... she's achieved the dream. She's living the life, wish I was there.
Quote from: Hypatia on July 21, 2007, 05:40:00 PM
Quote from: Katia on July 21, 2007, 11:41:35 AMthat's me on the left. either take it or leave it.
Katia--So you were the model for that awesome romantic Goth image! I was so impressed when I saw it in my friend's LiveJournal--she took the QuizFarm quiz What subcategory of Goth fits you best? (http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=194602) and got that image(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fquizfarm.com%2Fimages%2F11485535751098112661_areyouGoth%255B1%255D.jpg&hash=5c4f476fb481ee4374a17dae2577a58016aa3a32) as a result, which represents "Romantic Goth -- You are a romantic goth, better known as a traditional goth. You are probably quickly identified as a goth by outsiders. Black lace, bats, and moonlit cemetaries are just a few of your favorite things." I loved the dress so much, I took the quiz too and got the same result. Where did you find that dress? I want one!
Lol Lol Lol Katia you're mental! Katia's also a female devil, a peacock and a vampire. Oh darling you've a great sense of humor. Everybody fell for it, Lol.
New members don't know your charm yet... >:D
Here you are: from a similar annoying thread:
Quote from: Katia on April 19, 2007, 07:19:45 PM
good point. it's commonly known as reverse psychology. btw, for those of you who don't know the meaning of reverse psychology...it's the term that describes the outcome where advocacy of one course of action persuades someone to do the opposite. it's also quite doubtful when someone shows way too many photographs of "themselves" or "their family" on the internet. you usually wonder "why?" or "who is this person trying to convince?" as for myself i don't intend to share any photos with you anymore whether you like it or not. i did in the past. had several of them in the gallery as a matter of fact but not anymore. so there...
incidentally, that's not me on my avatar. she's a voodoo spirit! Lol Lol
I was going to post my real photo, but the other super models wouldn't let me.... damn union.
So... my Cat will have to do.
Enjoy.
Buffy
<----------------------------------Aaron Playing hide and seek
LOL. I love that photo of your kitty. contemplative yet fluffy....
Sorry, but the only people I really trust on this forum, and who I would ever consider PM-ing or chatting personally with, are those who not only use "real" avatars, but who have posted photos of themselves "in forum", and who I have a good idea of where they live, what they do to get by, their personal circumstances .... (Maud, Rachael, Berleigh, Keira, Debbie, Steph ....)
Yes its a matter of trust .... I don't like to communicate with anonymous people.
And you get real wieros, fakes and wannabes on open forums.
I like to know if someone is transitioned, RLE, post-SRS, just dreaming .... photos / avatars give an instant clue.
As to "danger" .... well any Troll could come to Reading, Berkshire, UK, with all my pics, looking for "Laura", knowing I live inner city, off the Oxford Road .... narrows it down to 10,000 people .... how would they find me and just why would they want to ::) ?
Some people here even know my surname, where I work, I'm not stealth so what's the big deal ?
For me no meaningful avatar means someone I can never really trust.
Laura x
Quote from: Buffy on July 21, 2007, 09:48:54 PM
I was going to post my real photo, but the other super models wouldn't let me.... damn union.
So... my Cat will have to do.
Enjoy.
Buffy
<----------------------------------Aaron Playing hide and seek
ROFL ;D I can perfectly understand, Becky. Daisy, my older kitty thinks she is Miss Feline 2007. LOL. I can't still get over this Katia thing. This is just too amusing.... ;D
tink :icon_chick:
Quote from: Tink on July 21, 2007, 10:36:33 PM
I can't still get over this Katia thing. This is just too amusing.... ;D
tink :icon_chick:
Since when has deception been amusing ? I certainly wasn't in on the "joke" ???
So does Katia run to a full beard in real life, is this whole goth thing a "make believe" ?
:(
Laura x
Quote from: Tink on July 21, 2007, 10:55:59 PM
Quote from: Laura Eva B on July 21, 2007, 10:46:36 PM
Quote from: Tink on July 21, 2007, 10:36:33 PM
I can't still get over this Katia thing. This is just too amusing.... ;D
tink :icon_chick:
Since when has deception been amusing ? I certainly wasn't in on the "joke" ???
So does Katia run to a full beard in real life, is this whole goth thing a "make believe" ?
:(
Laura x
Actually Laura eva, Katia is a very attractive girl. She has chosen not to post her phtotographs anymore and she's entitled to what she decides. She had a number of photos posted in the gallery before but decided to remove them for personal reasons. However, as I have said before, photos aren't everything. Anyone can post any photo and claim it's them. The only way anyone can be sure if someone is "real" is if someone else can back them up. I believe that Thundra, one of our most honest members here knows Katia along with myself, Fer (I think, not 100% sure though), Chris, possibly Wendy and many of the older (in membership) members. Anyhow, this is not about Katia or any member in paticular. As I said on the "glorious" honesty thread, photos are NOT required on this website. The posting of photographs is optional. IOW you "choose" to post them.
Have a great evening kitty cats!
tink :icon_chick:
Yeah, Katia did post her photo here, and she honestly does look similar to her current avatar. Some people cherish their privacy. I don't see anything less 'genuine' about that.
I think the danger from photo is overblown unless somebody suspects your TS and has lots and lots of time to kill.
I'd be more worried about dumpster diving or having any written personal information on the net that allow cross referencing to my male googlable self (My male self is in much more than 1M pages by the way... Because my heavy and early involvement with the Internet, I've got web hits from early Mosaic days and countless from Usenet).
My female self has a much more discrete footprint, zero, since I never use my real second name, that doesn't link back to this person, I try to keep it that way.
Quote from: Laura Eva B on July 21, 2007, 10:46:36 PM
Quote from: Tink on July 21, 2007, 10:36:33 PM
I can't still get over this Katia thing. This is just too amusing.... ;D
tink :icon_chick:
Since when has deception been amusing ? I certainly wasn't in on the "joke" ???
So does Katia run to a full beard in real life, is this whole goth thing a "make believe" ?
:(
Laura x
I know I cannot speak for her, but my
opinion is that Katia's point is "this is me as far as I am concerned when it comes to what I've decided to show. Take it or leave it."
I think she is being private and not secretive.
And, I know nobody cares, but that red thing is my actual eye, so even if you can't relate to me, you really are seeing the real me. ::)
I understand that I'm probably not going to meet anybody I've met here. But I take what I read as the true essence of the person because that is where I'm receiving my 'cues' from.
The Reeb
Quote from: morticia on July 21, 2007, 11:15:06 PM
Well, like it or not, I'm not posting a pic of the way I currently look because it disgusts me.
This is my second go at transition after I set it aside for 17 years so I could be "dad" for my kids.
Since the first time, I put on 70lbs and have a neck like an oak tree.
I can't look in the mirror because it makes me cry. The person I see in the mirror is not me.
I'm ashamed of the face that's attached to my body.
My body is coming along now after 7 months on HRT but the face is going to cost me
a trip to Thailand and big bucks before I can even think about trying to pass.
I don't allow anyone to take pictures of me, not even my own kids.
Maybe, in a few months, once my hair grows back again I'll go to Houston
for a makeover and a glamor shoot and then I may consider putting one of them up.
But the way I look now? No way. I'm not out yet. I'm working on it but it's not time yet.
Give me some time to get there. Heck I haven't even had makeup on in 17 years.
Until then I'll use a silly little graffiti artwork thing I stole from somewhere online.
I would assume no one would mistake my avatar for a real human. I would hope not anyway..
I assure you I have no intentions of deceiving anyone, I'm tired of lying. I've spent 46 years lying and I'm tired of it.
I don't expect anyone to believe or trust me and I don't care if you do or not.
I'm hear to learn how to make it through my transition by asking questions and reading the stories of the women that have gone before me. I'm not here to tell anyone what to do or how to do it.
I have questions and I need answers. I came here and joined because I see this forum is very active and it's likely I'll find the answers I seek in a shorter time than some of the other forums I frequent.
I'm not a troll or an antagonist or a stalker or ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-. I'm a transsexual woman in transition and the only thing I want is to complete my journey with as little pain and trouble as possible. I don't seek attention or trouble.
I just want to live a quiet life and in the end I just want to be another faceless non-person in the biomass that minds her own business and moves about without causing a wake.
Mkay?
That's perfectly fine, Morticia :) you are NOT supposed to post a photograph of yourself if you don't wish to do so. You may use the many options we have in our gallery or an avatar of your choice. Don't fret about it hon.
tink :icon_chick:
Morticia,
Post whatever you want in your Avatar.
I like to post my photo, because I'm vain like that ;D
But, I don't care other people want to do.
I'm not them and everybody's need is different.
Its only curiosity that makes me want to see pictures
of people sometimes, but I quickly overcome this desire :)
Quote from: Berliegh on July 21, 2007, 11:49:32 AM
Quote from: Kristi on July 21, 2007, 08:25:21 AM
Quote from: Berliegh on July 21, 2007, 01:14:54 AM
Kristi.....you are definitely kidding about me! .....have you seen Debski.....now she is a gorgeous woman....
Berliegh, honey, what's your address? I think we need to send you a mirror. ;) And no, I'm not kidding one bit. Accept it and enjoy it.
Peace,
Kristi
Kristi, Judging by your photograph you have nothing to worry about either. You look a lot feminine than I ever could.
Posted on: July 21, 2007, 11:46:47 AM
Quote from: Kristi on July 21, 2007, 08:25:21 AM
Quote from: Berliegh on July 21, 2007, 01:14:54 AM
Kristi.....you are definitely kidding about me! .....have you seen Debski.....now she is a gorgeous woman....
Berliegh, honey, what's your address? I think we need to send you a mirror. ;) And no, I'm not kidding one bit. Accept it and enjoy it.
Peace,
Kristi
Come on Kristi, going by your photograph you look a lot more feminine than I ever could. I'll try and put in a closer aviatior...
Well, Berliegh, you beauty, I do appreciate the sentiments. :-*
But I wasn't fishing for compliments. Right now I'm walking the streets in California, and seeing girls that make me green with envy. It isn't easy being green! Guess there's always someone out there that will make us insecure if we are not secure with who we are.
Kristi
Quote from: Laura Eva B on July 21, 2007, 09:56:18 PM
Sorry, but the only people I really trust on this forum, and who I would ever consider PM-ing or chatting personally with, are those who not only use "real" avatars, but who have posted photos of themselves "in forum", and who I have a good idea of where they live, what they do to get by, their personal circumstances .... (Maud, Rachael, Berleigh, Keira, Debbie, Steph ....)
For me no meaningful avatar means someone I can never really trust.
Laura x
Gosh... I am untrustworthy, my World has ended.
I had my photo as my avatar, even posted it in the gallery for 3 months (top rated I seem to remember, 5 stars, most commented), but I also like to change these regularly and get fed up looking at myself.
I can understand how some people feel deeply about this, my Gender issues are no more (fixed that bit) but the Dysphoria lives on, no matter how much and how many times my friends tell me I look good, I cannot see that. I do hate how I look and it took a lot of courage for me to post my photo for the 3 months I left it up.
Personally, I will talk to anyone here, regardless of whether they look like a Cat, Dog, supermodel or inanimate object in their avatar, after all thats why I am here and everyone has a right to privacy.
Buffy
Quote from: morticia on July 21, 2007, 11:15:06 PM
Well, like it or not, I'm not posting a pic of the way I currently look because it disgusts me.
This is my second go at transition after I set it aside for 17 years so I could be "dad" for my kids.
Since the first time, I put on 70lbs and have a neck like an oak tree.
I can't look in the mirror because it makes me cry. The person I see in the mirror is not me.
I'm ashamed of the face that's attached to my body.
My body is coming along now after 7 months on HRT but the face is going to cost me
a trip to Thailand and big bucks before I can even think about trying to pass.
I don't allow anyone to take pictures of me, not even my own kids.
Maybe, in a few months, once my hair grows back again I'll go to Houston
for a makeover and a glamor shoot and then I may consider putting one of them up.
But the way I look now? No way. I'm not out yet. I'm working on it but it's not time yet.
Give me some time to get there. Heck I haven't even had makeup on in 17 years.
Until then I'll use a silly little graffiti artwork thing I stole from somewhere online.
I would assume no one would mistake my avatar for a real human. I would hope not anyway..
I assure you I have no intentions of deceiving anyone, I'm tired of lying. I've spent 46 years lying and I'm tired of it.
I don't expect anyone to believe or trust me and I don't care if you do or not.
I'm hear to learn how to make it through my transition by asking questions and reading the stories of the women that have gone before me. I'm not here to tell anyone what to do or how to do it.
I have questions and I need answers. I came here and joined because I see this forum is very active and it's likely I'll find the answers I seek in a shorter time than some of the other forums I frequent.
I'm not a troll or an antagonist or a stalker or ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-. I'm a transsexual woman in transition and the only thing I want is to complete my journey with as little pain and trouble as possible. I don't seek attention or trouble.
I just want to live a quiet life and in the end I just want to be another faceless non-person in the biomass that minds her own business and moves about without causing a wake.
Mkay?
Hi Morticia (nice name).
Welcome here. Avatars really aren't a big deal although I did expect to see an avatar of Morticia Addams upon seeing your post. :laugh: Some people choose to post an avatar of themselves and that's great. It is by no means a requirement and to be blunt this subject of avatars and deceit is downright laughable. If someone doesn't want to get to know me or feels they can't trust me because I refuse to post my own avatar on a public forum that's their loss.
Keira , I have to agree with Morticia on this one " Girl you look great!" Believe me! If I looked like that, My picture would go up there too. Maybe one of these days it will be.
Right now, I would be very recognizable to many people and if somebody saw me, It could have a devastating effect on my life right now. You never know who's looking in on these forums.
I,m also a member on another forum and we have had a couple of nastys calling us freaks, misfits and so on.
So as long as I can be reconized, I'll be playing it safe.
For those that feel we can't be trusted or not wanting to be our friend because we're not posting a picture of ourselves is totally ridiculous! If they feel that way, Well ! it doesn't break my heart not to get to know them either. ::)
QuoteFor me no meaningful avatar means someone I can never really trust.
That is your choice, to trust or not to trust.
You can see by my avatar that I am really Brittany [friggin'] Spears.
As you can see, I've gotten out of rehab and grown my hair back in.
I was born Brian Spears and transitioned just before I went onto the Mickey Mouse Club in my youth, so I guess that makes me a primary! I'm sooo excited to be here. Does anyone want to tell me how much more beautiful I am than them, or worship my celebrity status?
If you PM me, I will tell you where to mail me some hooch, and I will send you lots of $$$$!
I have to run now and have sex with my GF before I pick up my kid from my Mom's house.
But I'll be back soon.
Love you dalings! You're all sooo cute!
XXOO Brittany.
Quote from: Thundra on July 22, 2007, 01:37:06 AM
I have to run now and have sex with my GF before I pick up my kid from my Mom's house.
How long will that last, Thundra? I'm asking because I feel that recently I...... never mind....you know what I mean...
Suggestions? vitamins or what? LOL :D
tink :icon_chick:
QuoteSuggestions? vitamins or what? LOL
You are already on a major dosage of vitamin "L" so, I'd be careful adding in other stuff. ;)
Ahhhh, life without sleep. I remember it well. It sux getting old. And fat. Wait a minute.
I forgot that I'm Brittany Spears now. No worries.
I've never posted an avatar here for a few reasons, privacy is one but the main trouble I have is how people treat me, on another TS forum I was told repeatedly that i couldn't pass for a bloke even with a full beard and that i had no idea what i was talking about seeing as I wasn't really TS just a girl who was born with a penis.
I don't like it when others are jealous as it clouds their judgement.
Considering how tall you are Mawd, believe me, with a full beard you would pass as male ;) and I would too.
But, I do know that sometimes, I feel appart from other TS because of how I look. Not ostratised, but seemingly, its as if I can't have the same pain as the rest of them because I was lucky enough to look good (part of this look, paid for 10K in cash). Some make me feel like I'm whining for nothing when I'm really hurting inside from being scarred from 20+ years of hell.
My piccy depicts my alter ego as how I see myself, alone in the dark inwardly crying out for a helping hand.
Untill I have completed the course in ridding my face of this shaving shadow, then I dont feel strong enough to portray myself in a real piccy of myself.
I guess I have low self esteem, and I am frightened what others will or wont say.
But soon girls soon I will be free.
Quote from: regina on July 22, 2007, 11:46:45 AMThen what on earth are they doing spending their time prowling around on a TS forum?
See the title under my name? that means i'm staff, being staff here would be a bit weird if I didn't post here.
Quote from: Fer on July 21, 2007, 09:33:25 PM
Lol Lol Lol Katia you're mental! Katia's also a female devil, a peacock and a vampire. Oh darling you've a great sense of humor. Everybody fell for it, Lol.
Obviously, I didn't fall for it, my comments on her picture were a subtle sarcasm meant to show that I knew it wasn't her in the picture, but without directly challenging her about it lest she feel insulted. No harm, no foul.
Now my picture is of the real me, of course, from ancient Alexandria, I'm over 1,600 years old but still look great for my age.
Posted on: July 22, 2007, 11:57:22 AM
Quote from: Fer on July 21, 2007, 09:33:25 PM
incidentally, that's not me on my avatar. she's a voodoo spirit! Lol Lol
Straight up--in Vodun, the lwa Erzulie Dantor is a protector of queer women. I love seeing her emblem here.
meh, i like myself a bit too much and so i like to impose my ugly mug on you all and give you all nightmares that sends hidden messages for you all to love me just through my avatar pic :laugh:
No, really. I'm serious. :icon_neutral:
It's time for this thread to die, so I am locking it.