So I'm at work right now and I needed assistance from a coworker. I've only been full time dressing female for two days now. So I radio my coworker and what comes out of my mouth? "Devon to Andy". My freaking old male associated name! I was so embarrassed and then said "Athena to Andy, still getting used to my new name haha". UGH!!!! That just got me so frustrated because ive had this name for weeks now and have been correcting people when they call me Devon and I've heard countless people call me Athena and email me, addressing me as Athena and being so happy with my new name. Why the heck did I do that?!?! I feel so stupid! Ugh!
I think a big reason why I did this is because I've been conditioned to use that name for so long and that was the first time I used the radio as Athena and not as Devon. I also don't see Devon as a super masculine name but as a unisex name which I think makes things harder too.
Have any of you had similar issues?
I Get he and she mixed up when i talk about what others might think of me.
But these thing happen out of habbit though.
E.g my dad always pinched my fries, when ever anybody els does it, I always start to protest with..... Daaaaaad oops.
Hey , don't worry :) It is normal after so many time and pressure to use your assigned name from time to time as a reflex . It gets me so anxious when it happens or , even worse , when I am aware that I have to use it in official places . I guess It is important to us because it has all the past and gender dysphoria associated .
Quote from: Claudia_FF on May 15, 2014, 05:14:21 PM
Hey , don't worry :) It is normal after so many time and pressure to use your assigned name from time to time as a reflex . It gets me so anxious when it happens or , even worse , when I am aware that I have to use it in official places . I guess It is important to us because it has all the past and gender dysphoria associated .
Exactly! I shouldn't beat myself up too much though. I know with time, ill get better :)
I still misgender myself with wrong pronouns at lease once or twice a month, and I've been full time nearly a year. Ain't none of us perfect.
Yeah I called myself "he" a few weeks ago. It is a good reminder though to go a bit easy on those around us who might slip up on our names or pronouns every now and then, especially if they are trying to do the right thing.
Quote from: Ms Grace on May 15, 2014, 05:34:19 PM
Yeah I called myself "he" a few weeks ago. It is a good reminder though to go a bit easy on those around us who might slip up on our names or pronouns every now and then, especially if they are trying to do the right thing.
I thought about that. Was going to mention it, but slipped my mind. I wonderd why my message was so short.
Be sure brain is engaged before putting mouth in gear!!
I not only had that as a sign above my desk, but even my employees had plenty of chances to point the sign out to me!! I do misgender friends from time to time, and the worst is when they are Cis.
I ordered a drink at a Starbucks and they asked for my name. My mind was elsewhere and I automatically blurted out <boy name> - Whoops! I got some weird looks when I did that since I was presenting female :)
I'm convinced I'm going to do that at some point.
You've been given a name and labelled with it for your entire life. It makes sense that you may slip up due to conditioning. It's just deeply engrained in your mind. While I understand that can be frustrating and maybe even embarrassing, I wouldn't focus too much on it. It's likely that other people are assuming the same thing.
I'm so glad I'm not changing my name! I only have to worry about pronouns. Funny thing. My wife's name is gender neutral, too. My name is more common for women and hers for men. My therapist calls me by my wife's name about once per session. Next session she's meeting with my wife. I'll have to ask if she called her by my name afterwards.