Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Mattfromengland on May 15, 2014, 09:09:50 PM

Title: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Mattfromengland on May 15, 2014, 09:09:50 PM
I have surgery in the morning and am seriously bricking it. Anyone been like that? Everyone I see, although nervous, is still excited to get this done. I am not as dysphoric as a lot of guys are and so me my chest isn't a no go area. I am sooooo concerned I might end up regretting this.

I know deep down it needs to be done. I am loving the changes I have had on T and love passing and the sound of my voice etc. so there's no way in a million years I will ever regret transition, so why Am I so scared about this one?

Anyone else feel like this the night before? Is it normal? Or should I be concerned about it?

Thanks!
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Al James on May 15, 2014, 09:22:26 PM
Hey man good luck. For me getting rid of my chest was THE most important thing in my life. But I still spent the night before panicking that I was doing the wrong thing and maybe everything was all in my head. But the moment I opened my eyes after surgery it was such a relief to know they were gone. So hope all goes well for you and this time tomorrow you'll be feeling great
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Spiritwlker on May 15, 2014, 09:23:52 PM
I think being a little anxious is completely normal. Every step we take is life-altering, so taking some time to respect the decision is a good thing. I haven't had any surgery so I can't speak to that directly, but I know I sat for an hour with that first dose of T in the syringe asking myself if it was truly the right choice.

Best of luck for a swift recovery :)
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Al James on May 15, 2014, 09:25:26 PM
Hey man good luck. For me getting rid of my chest was THE most important thing in my life. But I still spent the night before panicking that I was doing the wrong thing and maybe everything was all in my head. But the moment I opened my eyes after surgery it was such a relief to know they were gone. So hope all goes well for you and this time tomorrow you'll be feeling great
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: David27 on May 15, 2014, 09:26:20 PM
I was pretty excited  and nervous to get top surgery leading up to Monday. I was not very dysphoric about my chest, so I can get the nervousness. I simply looked at it as binding for forever would have lots of long term health risks vs surgery, which has short term risks.

I think it is natural to be nervous before a procedure. I've had 30 or so and I usually get nervous about anesthesia. I think that I've had enough surgeries that my brain just goes into survival mode and I don't think about whether Ill wake up once I've talked to the anesthesiologist. 
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: DriftingCrow on May 15, 2014, 09:40:01 PM
Good luck Matt, I hope it goes well and that you have a speedy recovery. :)

I think its normal to worry about regretting it, surgery is a big decision. But, hey, you can always get implants later on, right? ;) If you've been waiting for this for years, and know in your heart it's what you need, then it's the right thing to do at this moment in time. We can't live in fear of the future. We don't know who we'll be tomorrow, so we can't know what our needs will be then.  Do what you need to do now for your happiness.
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Mattfromengland on May 15, 2014, 10:08:49 PM
Thanks everyone, your comments are very helpful. :)
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: GnomeKid on May 16, 2014, 02:12:56 PM
How'd it go?!   :)
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Bombadil on May 17, 2014, 12:20:28 AM
yeah, I'm late. How did it go?
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Mattfromengland on May 18, 2014, 08:11:17 PM
It went well thanks. Had a couple of probs so ended up in the ER room to sort out a drain, and was sick which is pretty scary. Don't think I have damaged anything.

Will get to see my new chest on Wed. Excited!!!!! :)
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: aleon515 on May 18, 2014, 11:53:52 PM
I was very nervous the night before the reveal. I was just worried that I had maybe made a mistake and I was going to feel upset. Well when l looked down my first thought was "that's the way it was supposed to be" and it felt very normal.

--Jay
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Al James on May 19, 2014, 12:00:01 PM
Snap- that's exactly the way I felt- except I felt it as soon as I woke up from surgery and the mounds of dressings was less than the mounds of flesh that had been there before
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Mattfromengland on May 19, 2014, 01:41:25 PM
I won't be as nervous as before the surgery as I was stupidly nervous. But The thing I'll be most worried about is whether being sick did any damage. I'm sure it won't have or it would have bled through. :)
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Mattfromengland on May 26, 2014, 11:35:26 AM
6 days post op. Sooooooo happy with it. I can't believe I was so nervous :)

(https://photos-1.dropbox.com/t/0/AADYLvdNkrFZSYsXZv3TXTfm2tkyh9LcKpm4kcoyTDCs-g/12/78659236/jpeg/1024x768/2/_/0/2/unnamed.jpg/yTdRtZp2saf1Mo8XBfR8kvvuUyq9Kx9QpsOP-5m-60A)
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Bombadil on May 26, 2014, 12:18:07 PM
Looks good dude!

being sick probably didn't damage anything. I know it's hard not to worry.
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: aleon515 on May 26, 2014, 01:25:48 PM
Quote from: Mattfromengland on May 26, 2014, 11:35:26 AM
6 days post op. Sooooooo happy with it. I can't believe I was so nervous :)


That was like me. I was so apprehensive getting the bandages off that I would regret stuff and so on. I'm very happy and can't believe I was so worried. However, I think those kinds of feelings are normal human ones, ones that most guys (and gals) will have.

Happy for you!

--Jay
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: LordKAT on May 26, 2014, 05:47:58 PM
Looks pretty good, especially for 6 days.
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Mattfromengland on May 26, 2014, 05:51:08 PM
Quote from: christopher on May 26, 2014, 12:18:07 PM
Looks good dude!

being sick probably didn't damage anything. I know it's hard not to worry.

No being sick didn't do anything. :)  I guess we're sewed up pretty well and bound very tightly.
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Mattfromengland on May 26, 2014, 05:52:48 PM
Quote from: aleon515 on May 26, 2014, 01:25:48 PM
That was like me. I was so apprehensive getting the bandages off that I would regret stuff and so on. I'm very happy and can't believe I was so worried. However, I think those kinds of feelings are normal human ones, ones that most guys (and gals) will have.

Happy for you!

--Jay

I wasn't so bad for the bandages coming off (apart from the slight concern over having been sick, but knew deep down that was ok), it was before the surgery. As soon as I woke up though I knew it was the right thing.

How long post op are you now Jay?

Your name came up at NBR while I was chatting with Leland :)
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Mattfromengland on May 26, 2014, 05:53:43 PM
Quote from: chipper on May 26, 2014, 02:25:51 PM
Looking awesome, amigo! Congrats  ;D

Thanks Chipper :)  Of course I've taken it at just the right angle and have cut out the flabby belly. lol
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Mattfromengland on May 26, 2014, 05:56:51 PM
Quote from: LordKAT on May 26, 2014, 05:47:58 PM
Looks pretty good, especially for 6 days.

Cheers :)

It's bruised up a bit more on the right hand side (my right, but this is a mirror pic so it's the right in this pic too). That side has a lot more feeling in it though and the nipple bled when Dr G removed the dressing, to which he said that's a good sign as it means it has a good blood supply. The left side has some numb spots. So I guess the bruising is a good sign. It's not very swollen, which is good, and I don't think it swelled on the plane for the 8 hour flight home. I was all bound up though so who knows.
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: LordKAT on May 26, 2014, 06:14:11 PM
Ye, I thought there would be more swelling. If it turns out as good as it looks now, you're set.
Title: Re: Surgery in the morning-bricking it!!!
Post by: Mattfromengland on May 26, 2014, 06:55:40 PM
Quote from: LordKAT on May 26, 2014, 06:14:11 PM
Ye, I thought there would be more swelling. If it turns out as good as it looks now, you're set.

Yes I am mega pleased. My right nipple is starting to elongate quite a bit. Both are slightly but the right one particularly. So I imagine if it's doing that now it will keep going. I wanted them to do that a little as that's normal in cis guys, and they are both going in a natural direction, but I think the right will go too far. But if that's the worse that's happens I'm very lucky. :)