What doubts or fears did you have? Or did you feel nothing but excitement/anticipation?
Absolutely sure.
Then for the first and second shot I think, I would be like "Am I sure? Should I really do this? What if it's all in my head?" and then I'd remember all the pain and misery. It was the right decision for me.
I was on the fence for quite a long time. My biggest fears were not about me and the changes that I would go through, but rather about my family and coworkers and how transitioning at this point in my life would change things. I sat for almost an hour with the first shot in my hand playing out every scenario I could think of. Finally I just took a deep breath and did it.
Mostly though, I was excited. :)
Quote from: Polo on May 15, 2014, 10:15:17 PM
What doubts or fears did you have? Or did you feel nothing but excitement/anticipation?
I was both excited, scared, but also had doubts. I think it's normal to have doubts--this is a huge change.
Never had any. I waited for it my entire life, so it was a relief.
I was pretty sure of myself and I thought it over for a very long time, but of course there were (and still are, it's only been a day, haha) doubts. I think that's normal, considering you can't be sure of what exactly is going to happen to your body. I think it all comes down to "is this what I want, even if everything doesn't turn out exactly how I envision it?"
I was about 95% sure. When I got that letter in my hand and I had to wait that night before giving it to my dr I had a few mental hiccups. The normal, is it all in my head? Will I be able to do this the rest of my life? But that first shot pretty much summed it all up for me. I knew I was a guy for so long and looking back even when I presented female, it never felt as right as I am now, being who I was meant to be born as. And the changes so far have been pretty exciting and great.
By the time I went on T, I was mostly sure and have been completely sure since starting. I was afraid it wouldn't work and that I'd look female forever. I was also very excited and couldn't wait to start.
I was sure I wanted to start, but also scared -- it felt like jumping off a cliff. By the time I actually did start, I was excited, impatient, and still anxious. It still felt like jumping off a cliff, but with a safety net. (I have a very good therapist. :P)
I think if anything, I was more anxious about injecting myself than I was about the T.
I had a period of debate because there are some changes on T I didn't particularly want- increased sex drive and change in clit size. But everything else I did want and the pros outweighed the cons. 3 weeks in I'm so happy and sure.
what doubts are you having, Polo? do you want to talk about it? (crap, I sound like a therapist ::) )
Lol you DO sound like a therapist Christopher, but thank you for asking :)
My main doubts stem from fear of making permanent changes only to feel differently later on down the line (irrational and unlikely) and fear of what T will do to my fertility. I really want a child of my own genetics (through a surrogate) in about 5-8+ years... But it's something I'm sure I will talk about with my doctor.
My current plan is to go on a low dose anyway since I already "pass" most of the time, hopefully too low to do damage to anything... Any one have experience in this?