Hello, I am new here. I'm still in high school... My mother and sister are both not going to accept my situation because they are muslims and just hate on transgender... I think they already know something and yesterday they forced me to cut my hair super short, like this will stop me from transitioning... I feel like a woman inside, and I feel sad and alone because I don't have any friends nor support here... I want to transition as soon as I can, how can I start? I don't have a job because I'm currently depending on my family financially, because I'm not american and I need them for documents and stuff... I feel depressed because I can't be who I want.
Could you potentially get yourself a job, then pay for your own therapy? This could lead to you moving out and being in control of your own transition.
Hi Emily , and welcome to Susans! We have people come to visit us from all over the world, expressing different points of view, and you are likely to find someone to help you along your way :) Here are some important links and things to ponder as you begin your journey here.
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I do know how hard it is for TG women in the Muslim countries, I'm in Australia so lots of Hugs.
You can talk to us here and we will try to help and hug you lots
Cindy
Well yes but that will take years, and I live in the U.S. now and I was actually born and lived in Italy for all my life, still I really feel like I'm not going anywhere staying here and not being able to be what I want to become, and I don't have any support from my family because they are muslim and it's impossible for them to accept me, and even if I move out somewhere, I'm still in high school and it will be hard to support myself and continue my studies, all by myself, I can't do it and I just feel depressed because it's like everything works against me and I can't take it anymore, my mom and sister keep hating on me and I don't have anybody.
You have us now Honey, we understand.
Quote from: Emily1996 on May 19, 2014, 02:54:07 AM
Hello, I am new here. I just turned 18 and I'm still in high school... My mother and sister are both not going to accept my situation because they are muslims and just hate on transgender... I think they already know something and yesterday they forced me to cut my hair super short, like this will stop me from transitioning... I feel like a woman inside, and I feel sad and alone because I don't have any friends nor support here... I want to transition as soon as I can, how can I start? I don't have a job because I'm currently depending on my family financially, because I'm not american and I need them for documents and stuff... I feel depressed because I can't be who I want.
Not trying to be callous but,
Get. A. Job.
Get. Out. Of. That. Situation.
You are in a toxic situation, read my sig. Do what you need to do. I didn't transistion until I was 31, you are young, hormones will do miracles for you. Don't let your pig-headed family hold you down. Get out, and let them accept you on YOUR terms, not theirs.
-AM
Try talking to the counselor at school. If you are going to college try to choose one where you can live and possibly has a low or no cost therapy service for students. If those are not possible you are almost an adult so work on becoming self sufficient.
You need to just chill a bit and work out the most important things to you that will get you where you need to go. You need to factor in education, financial, social and transition goals. Don't kill off your family support by elevating the longer term goals over immediate needs which seem to be financial and educational. You can also advance your social approach and become more independent and start to assert your right to be yourself, even if it is over things as trivial as your hair cut. At 18, now is the time to grow some 'cos being trans, you are going to need them (figuratively of course :D). Just be nice but firm.
Most of all, use this place. Very wise people who have experienced just about all that can happen. Sometimes the toughest advice is actually the best.
getting your family to pay for college . go to a college out of the state you live in. live in dorms at said college. see college counselor . move on with your life.
So sorry you are feeling this way Emily, but don't feel alone, everyone on here has felt like that to some degree. I would suggest contacting an LGBT center near you, and start building a support system of real people near you that you can lean on. Your family never has to know, and you can find people who will be able to help and relate to your situation. That way if things go bad with your family, you have people to turn to who will be there for you. This place is great, but there is no substitute for having people that know and care in your everyday life. It will also provide resources and maybe even job contacts. We are always here for you as well, but having someone send you a message hug is no substitute for the real thing when you really need one!
*hugs*
See, no way that felt as good as a real one :)
As a small step, you could find something to act as a sort of token or reminder that although it's a crappy situation now, you are working towards building your future.
Could be anything, a necklace, bracelet, painted toenails or some object you can keep in your pocket that has meaning to you, but looks like junk to anyone who might see it. Last suggestion seems more appropriate to your situation.
The important thing is what you assign to it, not what it is. That way, when you're feeling really down, you at least have something to look at/hold/remind you that there is hope. To remind you of the steps you have taken so far, even you haven't been able to do much yet.
It can be easy to fixate on the negatives, especially early on, but I found that such a small reminder of the commitment (not sure if this is the right word given that not everyone finds out that this is the right way to deal with their gender dysphoria) made to being myself helped a lot to stop myself drowning in depression/destructive thought cycles.
As an example, I painted a thumb nail a colour I love. When out and about, like at uni, I could look at it and feel a little better, more hopeful. It was easy to explain to inquisitive people, I would just say a friend bugged me into trying it on one nail for fun. They just chuckled and forgot about it.
Naomi