I certainly understand the reason that transitioning men and women share their photos on this forum. Where else can I go to receive such thoughtful suggestions and to be assured that I can pass and be accepted in public?
Nearly 15 years ago, being assured that I could pass bordered on an obsession. I would take another photograph almost daily and sometimes twice a day in an attempt to discern subtle changes that would convince me that I was OK and looked like any other woman in public places. I am truly fortunate that in time I was able to lay aside that fear, complete my transition, and relocate to another part of the country where I am successful in living a stealth life as the woman I am.
Since transition, I have become increasingly aware of and concerned about the exploitation of those in transition or who have transitioned. Of major concern to me is exploitation by those who troll Internet sites like this. It is certainly easy enough for anyone with malicious intentions to provide an email address and become a member. I am not criticizing the membership policy, since it allows newbies to ask questions and get a sense of who we are and how they will be accepted. But I fear for the safety and wellbeing of my sisters and brothers who post their photos and identifying information. Perhaps I am overly sensitive as a woman who lives in stealth mode. I am someone who uses encrypted email when speaking about personal issues or sharing photos of me. I have always avoided posting pictures or information on any public form that could help identify me to the many perverts and extortionists that prey on people like me.
Like most Internet posting sites, to protect Susan from lawsuits regarding her right to display what we have posted, this site's terms of service gives her the irrevocable license to whatever information that I provide, including my profile and pictures. While I have confidence in the integrity of Susan and those who manage this site, not all sites are as scrupulous.
If you are comfortable with revealing your transition to others in your community, including strangers, then this may not be an issue. But if you have contemplated living a stealth life, or personal privacy is very important to you, I hope you will give some thought before posting your picture or identifying information either here or anywhere else on the Internet.
Privacy on the internet is a farce.
I think this is wise advice. I have had a photo (and once a video) of me on here because I had just gone on a trip to see a member here, and was excited about it, but after not too long decided to remove it.
My biggest concern is my observation that transgender people tend to attract the fascination of very unstable people. I had an experience with a student, I won't go into depth, but he was very mentally unstable and did things that creeped me out and sometimes made me worry about my safety around him. He also observed physical features that would suggest I was born female, when most other students thought I was cis male.
I realized that I could say something that strikes a nerve with someone, and if they're unstable, they could become obsessed/fascinated with me and possibly (small chance, but still) pose a danger to me. It's not a chance I am willing to take. Society tells me if I look like a man or a woman when I step out the door and am called "sir." Before, I was called "ma'am" all the time, because I looked female. Posting photos on a forum wouldn't have made me pass any better, I needed hormones and time.
Good point, I can't agree with you more. There was a YouTube video out that showed a lot of before and after photos of Susan's members that some unscrupulous videographer had put together without the permission of Susan or any of the membership, I believe it has since been removed. I am retired and not planning to run for any political office, but I am concerned for the younger people here who expect to find meaningful employment or marry eventually because once your photo is out on the Internet you're anonymity is shot and any background investigator or HR person can google that information at will. I know however that it would be a real stretch connecting one's real name to whatever name most here use a nom-de-plume.
I am out to the whole world, but I chose that so posting here doesn't bother me at all. I can see how stealth members could be taken advantage of though. Just rest assured we staff go to great length's to protect this family. :)
This is true Annie, and this concern is shared by the site. Term of Service (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) #6 reads:
QuoteYou should not give out personal information which may lead to your being identified, or contacted in person, by email or other means. If you chose to do so, then you also accept all accompanying risks. Aliases and the use of alternate email addresses are strongly encouraged.
The moderators will also edit out any instance where a member identifies their age as being under 18.
Members should never identify where and when they might be found if going out. Do not identify work places or regular haunts or family members/friends/SOs. Photos should be cropped in such a way as to not reveal their location. If your camera includes location metadata, disable it or remove it from images before posting. Never give out personal contact details on the public forum. If you are ever badgered by a member, especially a new member, for images or contact info notify the moderators immediately. If you do want to give someone your details think about who it is first - the forum is a fairly good sorting machine, the really undesirable individuals get detected and ejected quickly, other undesirables know how to play along - not saying that is anyone now but that is partly the reason new members need 15 posts before they can PM and access the profiles of other members. That person with three posts may seem really cool or in a lot of pain, but maybe wait till they get to 15 posts before you start sharing anything too personal about yourself.
People should do what they need to to remain safe. As Kelly pointed out, there is no such thing as privacy on the internet.
I chose to use my real first name and image because for myself it was an essential part of owning my new self identity. I appreciate many others do not, for any number of reasons, feel it is safe for them to do so and that is the wisest course of action. Others post images for a few days and then remove.
Thank you for your advice. I admire how the men and woman here look out for each other. I certainly want to learn from your experience.
QuoteMembers should never identify where and when they might be found if going out. Do not identify work places or regular haunts or family members/friends/SOs. Photos should be cropped in such a way as to not reveal their location. If your camera includes location metadata, disable it or remove it from images before posting. Never give out personal contact details on the public forum.
This is excellent advice, as is that given in the Terms of Service, quoted above. "Internet privacy" is pretty much a thing of the past, but there are things you can do to protect yourself from making it easy for random others to identify you from a Google search. In addition to the above, I'd say one of the biggest is to avoid using an email address that's in any way publicly associated with your name; if it is, five seconds on Google will let anyone find out who and where you are.
Alternative email accounts are easy to set up, and people need to use one for any activity in which they want any hope of remaining anonymous.
P.S. That's not me in my avatar. ;)
I have had some minor cyber stalking issues on another site. Years ago, I had postings of mine found by people who I did not wish to share that information. And it was ugly. Even if you are out it pays to be careful. I don't even use the real names of my pets and never mention specific place names. It never hurts to be safe.
And don't assume that someone who messages you is a friend. If you don't have a huge rapport on them on the board than give yourself some time to build a relationship before sharing too much. I know that's crappy, but real friends will understand and be glad you are being safe.
Ok, I'll climb off this beat up soap box and shut up now
Quote from: Shantel on May 19, 2014, 06:05:05 PM
Good point, I can't agree with you more. There was a YouTube video out that showed a lot of before and after photos of Susan's members that some unscrupulous videographer had put together without the permission of Susan or any of the membership, I believe it has since been removed. I am retired and not planning to run for any political office, but I am concerned for the younger people here who expect to find meaningful employment or marry eventually because once your photo is out on the Internet you're anonymity is shot and any background investigator or HR person can google that information at will. I know however that it would be a real stretch connecting one's real name to whatever name most here use a nom-de-plume.
Oh dear - this video has been removed? please alert us if this happens again.
I think some effects occur.
People are less scared of being out and open in public these days. Times have changed since "my time" 15 years ago. So if someone chooses to post pictures in the net, so be it. I did post some few pictures back then but they luckily are all gone now. And i never linked them to a real name.
This is the other thing I meant - sometimes people are so in a light mood and enthusiastic about transitioning that they want to "tell the world" about it. This is a problem if 2 or 3 years later they get the idea that stealth really is an option after all. So I can only caution everyone about picture postings, in the light that maybe ones original plan to be "open and out" can change eventually. I went from walking on parades with a Trans T Shirt to aiming towards no one knowing about my past except a few friends... you never know what will be in 3 years
I've learned not to leave pics up for very long. I've had problems with someone trying to use my pics before over on Yahoo years ago. They were just dumb enough to attempt to join a group I co-owned using one of them in their profile. I also image google my name and variations periodically to make sure nothing pops up.
An additional note about the selfies.
Many are taking indoor selfies with smart devices.
Be sure the location (GPS coordinates) function in pictures is disabled.
Sonia
I never enabled geotagging on my droid. I just checked it and its still off too.