Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: justpat on May 26, 2014, 12:26:15 AM

Title: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: justpat on May 26, 2014, 12:26:15 AM
   All I see is relief,from pain, emotions and expectations gone wild and chaotic.The feeling of being alone, even in a crowd of friends because no matter what, I am different and have been this way all my life.I am tired and in a millisecond could find relief---permanently---its in Gods hands now. 
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Cindy on May 26, 2014, 12:33:00 AM
What's up Hon?

If you are feeling suicidal please call a help line.

There is hope Honey

Cindy
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Alainaluvsu on May 26, 2014, 12:33:45 AM
You don't have anybody who would miss you? Not even a pet? I find that very hard to believe.
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Evelyn K on May 26, 2014, 12:39:22 AM
JP you've been here for awhile. What's going on tootsie roll? Where's wifey at?

Tomorrow is memorial day! Anything interesting planned?
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Jessica Merriman on May 26, 2014, 01:57:47 AM
I would miss you and you know that's true.  :( Can I help at all?
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Allyda on May 26, 2014, 10:23:46 AM
Quote from: justpat on May 26, 2014, 12:26:15 AM
   All I see is relief,from pain, emotions and expectations gone wild and chaotic.The feeling of being alone, even in a crowd of friends because no matter what, I am different and have been this way all my life.I am tired and in a millisecond could find relief---permanently---its in Gods hands now.
Pat, you know better! you have me for one who cares about you deeply. Where is this coming from? I'm sorry for saying this here but your not answering my phone calls, emails, or pm's and I've been worried sick all week! Just ask Auntie Shan if you don't believe that!

I'm going to try again to call you later. Answer my phone call please? If you don't feel like talking on the phone email or pm me. I swear I never thought you of all people would put up a post like this. Sorry but I'm worried about you -and a little mad to at your refusing to answer my phone calls or pm's. You know dam well how much I care about you and your SO.

Ally
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Shantel on May 26, 2014, 11:24:07 AM
Quote from: justpat on May 26, 2014, 12:26:15 AM
   All I see is relief,from pain, emotions and expectations gone wild and chaotic.The feeling of being alone, even in a crowd of friends because no matter what, I am different and have been this way all my life.I am tired and in a millisecond could find relief---permanently---its in Gods hands now.

C'mon Pat let's not do this hon perk up! You know this is not the way to go and that the Big Kahuna isn't going to honor it, please shape back up enough to dial up the vet hotline and get some help quickly. I know you are a can-do type honey, just do it OK? We love you hon, your Auntie Shan is counting on you now. xoxo
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: stephaniec on May 26, 2014, 11:29:13 AM
I'm a firm believer in God's almighty love
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: JulieBlair on May 27, 2014, 04:05:41 PM
Patty,
There isn't anything wrong with you that a smile, a hug, and a kiss won't cure.  Every time we talk I leave feeling refreshed.  Every time we write you teach me something new.  I don't know anyone else with a ten foot stuffed alligator on her bed.  What on earth would I do without you?  So here is a smile girlfriend ;), here is a hug "*!HUGG*!" and here are some kisses XXXX. 

Our friendship spans the internet, and goes all the way to the electrolysis clinic.  Doesn't get much more personal that that! So don't make me fly 3500 miles this afternoon.  Let's save that for sometime when I don't have to bathe in bug dope just to walk to the end of the driveway.

I suspect that your angst has something  to do with Memorial Day.  We have all lost friends and comrades, but to remember and to honor is not to mourn them once again.  To reflect on personal injury we need not relive the terror. Bodies age, minds can stay fresh.  I'm there with you my sister, now and always.

Julie
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Jessica Merriman on May 27, 2014, 05:32:23 PM
Patty please answer Ally's calls! I need to know you are OK. Please?! Not knowing is the worse. :(
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Alainaluvsu on May 27, 2014, 06:15:50 PM
Last active on the time and date of this post. Not good...
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Evelyn K on May 27, 2014, 06:31:47 PM
(sorrowful sigh)

Hopefully someone with her phone number has called in for a wellness check.

JP - let us know you're alright.
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: HoneyStrums on May 27, 2014, 06:52:08 PM
I See this and cry. Why? I cant say i knew them, but still i read this and i feel helpless. I m a world away and wish for nothing more then to have been wear they were while writting this post.

And I read on, and for every post see someone els hurting. Another person I cant hug and help through this time. I Dont know what if anything I can do.

My heart goes out to everyone here OP and all. Please talk to people if you all need too. And more importantly hold on for replies.

I Hope your ok Ally
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: kelly_aus on May 27, 2014, 07:16:52 PM
If someone knows where she lives, even roughly, a call to the local PD for a welfare check wouldn't hurt.

I've done it myself in the past for a member of this site.. It was kinda fun working out which of the UK police services I needed to call - got it wrong and was pointed in the right direction..
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: JulieBlair on May 27, 2014, 07:49:21 PM
I talked to her a few hours ago.  She was ok then.  I'll call again now.
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: JulieBlair on May 27, 2014, 08:02:15 PM
She is gonna be fine.  Anybody getting into the shower with an epilator, hasn't given up.  Thanks everyone for being there, you are simply the best.  Love you all. She will be on in a couple hours.
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Evelyn K on May 27, 2014, 08:58:25 PM
Thank god. I don't know her personally, but she's one of our own. One of the great many, and we are gaining momentum. She needs to know she is *not* alone.
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: JulieBlair on May 27, 2014, 09:26:47 PM
Evelyn,
You are one of the special ones around here that keep me coming back.  Thank you.
j
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Evelyn K on May 27, 2014, 09:33:42 PM
JB - I am not. I can't even touch the amount of empathy you have and are able to articulate. When you comfort, you really do sway the room.

Thank *you*.
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Allyda on May 27, 2014, 10:06:30 PM
Quote from: JulieBlair on May 27, 2014, 08:02:15 PM
She is gonna be fine.  Anybody getting into the shower with an epilator, hasn't given up.  Thanks everyone for being there, you are simply the best.  Love you all. She will be on in a couple hours.
Thank's Julie for posting this. I've been worrying myself sick up here for this past week. Pat and I usually talk daily, and I'm very close to Pat and her SO. Her not answering my phone calls for a week and then all of a sudden this post two days ago put my worry into overdrive. So I thank you very much for easing my worry a little. Pat still hasn't called me back, so I'm still worried, but you have eased that worry a little and again, for that I thank you.

If she doesn't call or pm me, I'll try to call her tomorrow. Hopefully she'll answer my call.

Again, Thanks.
Ally :icon_flower:
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: justpat on May 27, 2014, 11:45:20 PM
  Thanks for posting Julie, The epi is great if you like some pain.Thanks to those who posted it was nice coming back and reading them.The thing that caught me was a PM from a friend who is also a member here I had not heard from her in a month and timing is everything and she didn't even know what was happening. Believe what you want, I know what I think and why her timing was right. I am better,not ok and not fine just a little better, its now one day at a time.  Thanks for caring.  Patty
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Jessica Merriman on May 27, 2014, 11:47:35 PM
PATTY!! I am so glad to hear from you.  :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:

Please, PLEASE PM me next time. Not knowing knocked my heels off! :) You know you can come to me for anything, OK?
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: HoneyStrums on May 27, 2014, 11:56:35 PM
Smiles

Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Shantel on May 28, 2014, 10:32:49 AM
Quote from: JulieBlair on May 27, 2014, 08:02:15 PM
She is gonna be fine.  Anybody getting into the shower with an epilator, hasn't given up.  Thanks everyone for being there, you are simply the best.  Love you all. She will be on in a couple hours.

Thanks for contacting her Julie, you're an angel!
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Satinjoy on May 30, 2014, 10:58:22 AM
Patty

No more casualties here girl... you are too important to too many people and touch too many lives

Never forget that.

And the abyss is not your destiny either.  HE knows that and knows you.  So does the enemy and it pisses him off.

God Bless.

For the rest - she's ok, but lets keep loving her up.... phones, whatever.

Old saying from my favorite street person that got sober

The secret of life is outlasting the bulls--t.

Outlast the feelings..... win it all.
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Newgirl Dani on May 30, 2014, 11:32:35 AM
I am glad to see that this thread has taken a turn for the positive.  i myself have looked down into this darkness, for different reasons but the reason matters not as the darkness is still just as dark.  Feelling the warmth of light coming back into your life is an amazing thing, with the only thing that is more amazing is that this fuel takes the form of friendship.  So glad your coming back Pat.  Yours, Dani 
Title: Re: Standing on the precipice of life and staring into the black abyss
Post by: Allyda on May 30, 2014, 11:46:23 AM
I'm very happy and relieved to hear your OK Pat. I hope everything is going well for you. I wish you a happy wonderful day! :icon_bunch:

Ally :icon_flower: