So, it's been 2 months since I had GRS. I'm healing fine. I am young, 23 years old, and in perfect health. There were no infections or complications. There is no swelling or bruising; and there was and is no pain. But there is also no feeling. It's not numb though, there's just no sexual pleasurable feelings. The clitoris just feels like a hard lump and has no pleasurable feelings associated with it. I haven't been able to orgasm yet, and I've actually never orgasmed ever. The few times I tried before the surgery I always stopped cause I didn't want to do it. I've only tried a few times after surgery now. I can find a spot that seems to be going somewhere but then it dies. The only good feeling parts are the inside of the labia majora. There's really no desire on my part to orgasm or touch myself, but the fact that I can't means something went wrong and that makes me feel like I got ripped off.
So, I bought a vibrator today, but now I feel ripped off even more cause apparently the store I bought it at jacked up the price. I paid $25 for the damn thing and could have got it on Amazon for $10 (that price includes shipping!) . . . anyway, I haven't used it yet, but I'm doubting it's going to make any difference cause it just seems like a cell phone in the shape of a dick.
I guess, I would like hints on how to get an orgasm here, reassurance that it's ok that I have no feeling in my clitoris 2 months out, and someone needs to make me feel better for having lost $15 (possibly $25) on a vibrator. O' and if anyone says GIVE IT TIME—or anything like that—I will digitally destroy them.
Relax and find the things that ramp up your emotions and labido.
Female O is harder to get then the old O. If you try and force it most likely it will no happen.
Also 2 months is early, it can take months or years until one can. But again it is not a given.
Relax, relax and just try and enjoy the feeling and the big O may just fallow.
Isabell
At 2 months, it may be that the nerves are not sufficently healed.
Im 8weeks postop I could orgsam easily before dispite aas ive just had my first satisfying orgsam however its taken a mth to get there and theres still milage togo yet. I had a few misfires that could have been an orgsam but werent quite right and as mentioned nerves are not all healed yet but stimulating them will help as to the fact im now suffering electric shocks which indicates healing.
. In the start it was like a little then as ive played around different pressure angles areas etc it has happened.
two things I have found is if you want it its not gona happen also if I use a light tapping like a vibe it gets me aroused nicely
I tried while dilating or spent time after trying it does seem its in the mind set ive got quite an erotic mind which helps.
dont give up and give ureself some special time not rushed and hopefully you will get there.
xxx
I am at nearly 16 months post, and it was not until month #11 that sensations like rubbing the head of my former penis kicked in on me. The sensation is pleasant now - it had been very much as you describe before hand -- but not by itself able to induce an "O". As Isabel and Kelly have said, you are still VERY early in the game to have all of the wiring connected right. I do get "O"s, but it happens when I am relaxed and "in the mood" as Isabel noted. They are mostly unexpected and sometimes NOT what I really wanted at the time. (if you can imagine that!) My orgasms have little or no relationship to any experience I had pre op when the parts still functioned as male. There is discharge from the prostate area, and it does pulse a bit like days of old, but it is no longer the center and major player in the game. The orgasm's are NOT centered on the vulva, but on a whole heckuva lot of my other anatomy as well.
Keep up hope and your surgical follow-up care, relax and let your imagination run loose during your dilation times. Be gentle with your new anatomy, but do not fear it. It is a learning experience, and new stuff comes up daily for me. Simply talking to a cute (by my age standards) guy the other day was making my anatomy tingle very pleasantly the other day. I didn't know it could do that!!! :o
It took me two years post-op to finally have an orgasm (I went to Brassard), but when I did... OMFG!!!! It was incredibly awesome!!! It actually happened accidentally, believe it or not. I wasn't even trying, just watching porn (lol) and "playing around" (no toys) and BAM!!
As far as continuing to achieve them, it's not too hard to do. I find a certain technique works very nicely... and I guess it's okay to explain it here... I use the ring and middle fingers of my hand, held together, with the fingertips touching the bottom-most part of my vagina, and the parts of the two fingers closest to the palm (where your rings would be) riding just over my clitoris. A steady up-and-down motion, with some circling motions, too, works beautifully.
Interestingly, I have found that I cannot achieve orgasms as easily when there's something inside me. Maybe because I can't get the right angle on things.
I'm just over 6 months and I've only recently reached orgasm, it's not exactly earth shattering but it seems like there is potential for improvement. It felt as you described up until fairly recently - not numb, just not special. It's all still feeling reasonably boring but I feel like it is slowly getting better. I did spend a fair bit on a decent vibrator too (Jimmy Jane Form 6...two motors...) which made it easier.
It took me 8 months to be able to reach what I call "almost but not quite" orgasm - it had all the earmarks of an orgasm before and after but no actual orgasm. At least it gave me a reprieve on the libido front.
Sometime between 1 and 2 weeks beyond one year I was able to have orgasms, and it was another week or so before they were reliable. Now, I can access them as easily as reliably as I could with my penis - X minutes of working my clit and I orgasm - but they're not as satisfying (I'm hoping I can still get the female-type orgasm - mine are completely clit-focused.)