Yo, hi.
I signed up to this forum yesterday, i'm a transguy and haven't come out to anyone but my best friend and my school counselor (yes, i'm a minor..)
But i feel so very weird.
I mean, there aren't a lot of people that are trans, so why would i be? I sometimes think i'm imagining everything.. Does anyone have some advice for me?
What if it's all just a phase? (a long one at that).
How do i deal with everything? Especially if i do feel 'dysphoria' or how it's called.
I think i'm serious but i'm just so unsure.
Thanks
Hi Relinquere,
Why you? why not you? That question is a bit irrelevant.
As to wondering if it is real and how to deal with it, I would suggest a therapist, or as you are talking now, a counselor. When you can find one, a gender therapist. they are really good at helping sort out all your feelings and helping you recognize what is there.
Welcome to Susan's BTW. There are a lot of people here to share your questions and revelations with, as well as a wealth of information to look through.
here are some links to rules and answers to quirky questions. Well maybe not so quirky.
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Again welcome.
Hi,
Welcome... You already have taken one good step: finding a place to ask questions. We'll try and answer them.
Why? No one really knows why someone is transgender. At this point, it looks like something may have occurred during fetal development that gave a person a more-or-less female brain and a more-or-less male body. Now, we have to deal with that.
The first step is a good councilor who works with transgender patients. If this means coming out to you parents, post a request so that other can help you do that effectively. But get a councilor.
Next, explore, with the councilor, who and what you are.
Hugs,
Jen
Hey, welcome to Susan's! :)
Figuring yourself out can be really difficult, and even now I have made the decision to transition, told my parents and many close friends, etc. and am pretty certain I AM trans and not just imagining things, I even doubt myself sometimes. It is normal to feel doubt, or fear, for taking such a drastic and massive life step. Just take your time, talk about it with some people (that councelour, us, friends, or maybe a therapist or your parents? Depending on how accepting and open minded they are), one doesn't find their identity overnight, it is a process that tends to require some time.
I also definitely recognise the "I feel so weird" thing. Whenever I tell someone unfamiliar to ->-bleeped-<- I just feel like some oddity in a rarity cabinet up for display :s
But know you can always ask us anything! We are here to help each other! :) Good luck on your journey bro, hope we can help ya'!
Thank all of you, i feel a bit less alone about doubting things now.
(sorry for the late reply).
My counsellor said it's best to wait a little while and figure my other problems out first and focusing a little bit more on school and grades :)
Thanks!!!!
Yeah, you shouldn't keep putting it off all the time though, or you'll regret it in the end. I am 19, which is not really old, but if I had listened to myself while still in high school I'd be starting T right now and fully living as male, as for now... I am in the awkward early phase, and people ask more questions because I'm "late". Like "You wore a dress to prom in high school, why? And why tell it so late? You sure this isn't a phase?" I often wish I had expressed my feelings more often as a little kid. But whenever I said "I wanna be a boy" people laughed it off and were like "Yeah right, you can't. Go play!".
Later in high school I had so much other ->-bleeped-<- (bullying, grades, etc.) I just pushed it away and focussed on that instead. Setting it aside not to let it ruin your grades is good (no one wants an extra year in high school :s), but don't push it away too far either. You can start with talking about it with your parents, and just express your doubts and feelings a bit, then it will be easier for them to accept you want to transition later (assuming you do. It's not for everyone, so don't feel obliged to)
Good luck!