Guys and most of them assume me to think like a guy like where I work, other places and even a friend who's a guy. I don't think like a guy on LOTS if things, I think like a girl but because I look a guy, I'm assumed to think like a guy. I think like a girl way more than a guy. It happened the other day infact its happened more over the years. Because my face and body doesn't match my brain, I get misunderstood. I have tried to understand guys behavior but only the guy part of my brain can get bits of it. I fail and I'm better able to understand girls 90% of the time. Even My dad before he passed said one day that I was talking like a women meaning I don't get alot of guys thinking. I feel like I'm either an idiot or strange sometime but its something I can't help. I have so many examples of this all. I keep a notebook for my thoughts and yes I don't usually get guys. I'm tired of being assumed to always think like a guy.
Males have their own set of unspoken "man rules." They talk to each other differently than when women are around. If you look like a man, they're going to treat you like one. People only see the outside, the superficial, the "book cover" so to speak. No one consciously thinks, "That's a guy, that's a girl, gotta treat the guys like guys and girls like girls." It's innate. Natural.
I empathize with you. Before I transitioned it was very hard for me to be around men for the exact reasons you mentioned. They were, for the most part, misogynistic and demeaning, and it offended me on a deep level. It also scared me because I thought, "Jeez, if they only knew about me!" But nowadays I don't hang out with men.
I suggest you stop hanging around these guys you're speaking of, if at all possible. If people, anyone, makes you feel uncomfortable for any reason, why bother hanging around? Find better friends.
I have the opposite problem. I think like a guy and I can't have good friendly relationship with girls. I already have a girlfriend so I don't want to hit on them, just want to be friendly. But I can't stand their emotional female talking, gossip, talking about shoes, makeup and clothes... Unfortunately sometimes the guys think I'm not man enough (I look like a kid) so I'm kinda stuck in between.
I think you should talk with your friends, maybe educating them if they are too machistas. In my experience not all bio men are like that, maybe you just met the wrong people ;)
Hi Larysa,
You're not alone! Many of us feel the same way.
The 'guy culture' just never felt right to me. I felt like I was forced to participate, because if I wasn't 'one of the guys', then everyone would assume I was gay, and I'd have no hope of having a relationship with a girl. And even though I like some guys, I prefer girls.
Well, years later, and more secure in my romantic experience, I have no problem opting out of that culture. "Nope, sorry guys - I just don't think like you, don't want to dress like you, talk like you, act like you." If they call me names - whatever; those names don't hurt that much anymore. I know what I am.
- Jesse