Hey
So I dont know if a post like this already exists since it seems like a common subject so sorry if it does. Anyways so Im trying to find a name that not only fits me but also doesnt feel awkward. I understand that almost every name is awkward in the beginning, but I mean since I get the chance to actually change my name to whatever thats accepted, why change it to something Im not proud of saying or hearing? I realised that "funny" names doesnt feel awkward. So I dont know if its a bad idea to change it to something that gives the reaction "Is that your real name?" but I mean Im still in the stage of just finding out whats good or not. So basically I dont want to grow up and apply for a job with "Gandalf" as a name, so Im looking for something that basically may or may not make people smile. Like something that works as a real name but is also a bit extraordinary, like "Cactus" or "Legolas" or "Chaplin". I dont know, just something that makes you think "Oh he has cool parents" haha. Anyway so what Im looking for right now with this post is
- Is this a good idea or not?
- If its good, maybe you could drop some name suggestions?
- If its bad, maybe give me some tips on finding a name that doesnt feel awkward, without it being funny in any way.
So thank you I dont know if all of this was confusing, I write alot that just comes to my mind. :)
Some people find it is important if it means something with family. Go back a few generations and you may find that grandfathers had unique names/middle names. My grandfathers middle name was Coleman and that isn't something you hear every day.
I don't know how old you are. Consider using a name that was popular during the period of your birth, or like Alex said, a family name if you happen to like one of them.
If you are interested in looking up names by a variety of formats with data representative of the US and each individual state (local culture can matter to names) then http://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/ is a good bet.
I took an anagram of my mothers name, because I wanted a connection to her, but I hate her name and I don't want to honor any of my ancestors before her either. Of course that isn't something always practical as not all that many anagrams that are indeed actual names can be formed from other names. The name I picked was in the top 100 from 1891-1929 and wasn't even in the top 1000 for the year of my birth, so I didn't take the popularity thing too seriously and everyone seems to love the name I picked (which isn't Hikari lol, that is Japanese for light).
I would only really pick something from those lists if you are really lost or it just seems really right, having a name that sounds good with some sort of connection generally seems preferable, I mean once people get used to calling you something new it isn't easy for them to change.
Not?
Quad?
Not or Quad?
I saw some names from my birth year (1969) that were cringeworthy to me. I mean hippie-dippie here. I was not going to be a "Feather", a "Moonchild" or a "Sunshine"! I mean, those are probably better than "Hortense", "Bertha" or "Brunhilde" on me, but still...
All signs pointed to Jill. I know it's dull and boring, but I am neither, yet it is me nonetheless. I sort of like having a name that doesn't stick out. I have enough issues with that as is!
Plus every Jill I ever knew was completely awesome.
I just say find a name that fits you like a glove, that you would love to respond to and makes you happy to hear when spoken aloud.
I double dog dare any guy here to be "Jack"... :laugh: *Warning: do not go up that hill!*
Phoenix? I know a few guys called that, and that's sort of an odd one, without being too odd.
I also know a guy who's name is Cinnamon.
Quote from: Rawb on June 10, 2014, 06:27:57 PM
Phoenix? I know a few guys called that, and that's sort of an odd one, without being too odd.
I also know a guy who's name is Cinnamon.
I had a girlfriend in high school named Cinnamon.
I personally wouldn't pick something out there, but then I want to blend in, not stand out. My suggestion is to look at popular male names from the year you were born.
Well, my name isn't all that uncommon, but people who aren't familiar with it can be kind of weird about it lol. Having had that experience, it's uncomfortable.
Another thing is if there is any possibility you want to be stealth later - this could work against you too. I've had a few people say to me "oh do you know *insert name* he's trans too!" about various trans people. So if you have an extremely unique name, and you come up in conversation somehow between two people (like, "oh, my friend Cactus and I went to the movies"), one could go "ohhh, Cactus, the trans one?" which would out you to the other person. That's not certain to happen, but people have a way of bringing these things up to others if they know. Whereas if someone says "me and my friend John went to the movies" no one is going to think "oh, I wonder if that's the same John that I know who is trans" lol.
Don't know how old you are now, but I think you need to consider whether you're still going to want to be called Cactus or Legolas or whatever when you're in your 50s and 60s. And if someone asks you why your parents gave you such a quirky name are you going to lie or out yourself? Ultimately, it's your decision, but I don't think a person's name is a reflection of how interesting or not interesting they are. I would go with everyone else's suggestion and at least consider something from your birth year.
Quote from: CandiceSkirvin on June 10, 2014, 07:14:58 PM
This is a very good point to consider. The only reason my friend went with something more 'out there' is because he was already a very out activist and never planned on being stealth. He just wanted a cool name. lol If you're thinking you may want to be stealth or at least not have your identity questioned on a semi-frequent basis then you may want to go with a more traditional name. You could go back and look at the most popular boy names for the year you were born (or within a couple of years of that year) and just pick one you like. :) Then you'd have a name that you very well could have been given at birth. OH! You could ask your parents (if they are cool with this) what male name they would have named you. That might be a cool idea.
Just to be clear, having an extremely unique name isn't likely to make people question whether you are trans or not if you are read fully as male. That's not what I meant at all.
I'd make sure you won't change your mind about having an out-there name in the future, though, because you might want a super-unique name now, but then after a few years of people asking if it's your real name or asking you how to spell or pronounce your name, you might get sick of it, haha. Try standing in front of a mirror (if you're happy to do that) and say one of your possible choices. Say it a good few times and see if you like the ring of it, see if it suits you or if you feel a connection to it. See if it flows with your last name, too.
Basically, I grew to accept the name Jason because I called myself Jason a couple of 1000 times, haha.
You could try to find a name that has a more "out there" form while having a pretty normal nickname, or vice versa. Like, for instance, Mycroft and Mike, or Al and Alighieri. That way you can choose who gets the quirky name and who gets the name you want people seeing on your resume.
I reallllly like the name Felix. It's cool, unique, and certainly isn't out there. Good luck :)
I didn't choose mine and I think that's why it stuck. It was in the family previously and my husbands first actor crush has the same name. Total coincidence but it worked out. When he suggested it I just went with it. Sure it's stereotypical trans guy name, but I hadn't even known that until he picked it for me. I felt awkward when I found out but now I just go with it.
Mine came out of some research on my family that I started late last year, for other reasons. I found that there were some people on my mother's side of the family who were actually interesting and likeable, and my name sort of evolved out of that. I'll be changing first, middle, and last names this summer, if all goes well. (Tysilio will be my middle name, after my great-grandfather's brother.)
I really like having the family connection, now that I've finally learned something about who they were.
Quote from: Ayden on June 11, 2014, 07:19:54 AM
I didn't choose mine and I think that's why it stuck. It was in the family previously and my husbands first actor crush has the same name. Total coincidence but it worked out. When he suggested it I just went with it. Sure it's stereotypical trans guy name, but I hadn't even known that until he picked it for me. I felt awkward when I found out but now I just go with it.
Mine has become stereotypical recently (like after I chose it too lol) and it is sort of uncomfortable for me too. But I can remember a few years ago, I had a classmate named Aiden who is cis as far as I know. I told him that a lot of trans men pick aiden as a name and he just laughed it off and said "really? That's interesting." And I know cis men with my name. So. Yeah. I don't think people will think much of it if you pass as male, which I know you do.
Like has been pointed out, you really have to decide what you want from your name. If a name means enough to you, you can probably deal with it standing out a little, but you have to consider how you might feel down the road. Almost any name is going to be shorthand for a time period when most people hear it, and some names are even associated with regions or political affiliation.
I picked my name partly because I really wanted "Feivel" or "Helix," either of which would have been ridiculous for someone with my age and birthplace (and demeanor). And the SSA records showed it having steady moderate popularity over a long time period. Some of my alternate choices were ruled out for reasons as trivial as the initials they would have created.
If the first name you choose is uncommon or feels odd, be sure to have a more typical middle name, or the other way around. That's how a lot of parents name their children. If you decide to switch to your middle name in practice you can generally do so even on paperwork without any trouble.
I know some people may find this post off-putting,
but if you're living in an english speaking country
biblical names won't arouse any suspicion or be awkward.
Especially if you live in the US, the UK or Australia
It kind of depends on if you're willing to live with a judeo-christian name or not.
I was lucky... my parents insisted on picking out a new name :P
Quote from: FelixSome of my alternate choices were ruled out for reasons as trivial as the initials they would have created.
Not so trivial... my parents thought better of saddling me with given names that would've meant my initials were VD. I guess that's a sort of obsolete acronym by now -- but I'm sure there are people out there now whose initials are STD. :o
If I'd been a boy, they were going to name me Julian Andrew, but I'm not gonna pick those names now. Ick.
My theory is choose an unusual either first or middle name, then choose a more traditional name to go with it. That way if at anytime you get tired of the unusual one or need a more professional sounding one for work, you can go by the more traditional one.
I laugh at my initials after my name change. They're SOL. :p
You could pick a 'regular' name and use the cool name as a nickname.
Quote from: Mal on June 14, 2014, 11:29:42 PM
My theory is choose an unusual either first or middle name, then choose a more traditional name to go with it. That way if at anytime you get tired of the unusual one or need a more professional sounding one for work, you can go by the more traditional one.
This. It's why I'm going with first name being Daniel but with an odd middle name being Lutan.
Im really suprised that you all had such great suggestions! My dad is from Greenland so my middle name is Greenlandic, and kinda unisex since its really weird lol. I love the different names you dropped. I asked my parents what they would have chosen if I was born physically male and they said some really awkward, old-fashioned names, but they also said other names they thought about when being born female and one of them was Casper. If only they had gotten through with this name haha. Anyway I really like that name and they also told me that I had a connection with it because they recorded the ultrasound of me on the VHS Casper movie (the one with the ghost from the 90's), since they forgot to bring an empty tape. (Also I love that movie haha)
So Ive been testing it for a while and as I said, Im really starting to like it and it doesnt feel that awkward, just a little bit, but not as much as the other names Ive tried. Some of you said that you basically grow into the name and I think that might be true, so Im gonna try this name a bit longer and if Im still happy with it, I guess thats what Ill go with later on :)
Thank you all though for your awesome opinions, answers and suggestions, I feel bad that I didnt come with something more extraordinary that one of you hade suggested and would blow your mind with awesomeness, but it really helped alot and made me think in different trails (I dont know if you can say that in English, Im from Sweden lol so sorry if theres other mistakes as well).
If you want to, you can tell me what you think about the name and stuff like that cause yall made me use my brain more than I ever have before haha
Ooh awesome choice!! Love the name, Casper :)
Thank you, muffinpants, yours is even better lol :D
I chose an unusual first name, and my family didn't like it, but I had chosen a mainstream first name that matched my old first initial and tried it out, but it didn't fit. It wasn't me. When it came time to send in the name change forms, I chose the unusual name that I wanted. My middle name is slightly unusual, but it was my great grandfather's name and I really wanted a tie to my roots.
In my family, at least until this generation the first born male child would get his father's first name as a middle name, and since I am the oldest child I wanted to choose my father's name as a middle name to honour him and the family, but my dad is very unhappy with my transition so I figured I'd go with my mom's grandfather because I liked that name and my mom liked that I was choosing from her side of the family.
People always comment on my full name and say it's really cool. If they know I'm trans, I jokingly reply "Thanks! I picked it myself!"
My advice on names is that when you find something, find a group and get them to address you as that name for a while and see how it feels. Change it if you have to. Eventually you'll find your name.