I want to come out to my family, but majority is VERY close minded. I tried
it a year ago to my sisters, which I only got ridiculed for and said it was a phase...
or that I'm lesbian.....so I haven't had the energy to go through it again.
But I'm fighting with my mother with everything because we don't see eye to eye on
anything, I tried to talk about other topics that I feel strong about and the responses
just closed me off completely.
I want to come out, but the only ideas of transgender people are Jerry Springer and Maury...
She doesn't fancy non-straight people from what I'm seeing.
Should I wait till I leave the house?
It might be better if you do so that you can give space when needed and take space when needed.
Sounds like a plan to me, I'm just gonna wait a month or two.
I was in a situation similar to yours, before coming out I would talk to my mom and dad about gender identity and transgender topics. They always brushed it off or talked smack. I had no reason to think they would accept me, I come from a family of Christians, down to the very last one. However, when I did come out, they immediately accepted me, it's just it took them SO LONG to actually understand what this meant and how serious it was, they kept telling me it was a phase, but I showed them resources and stories of other trans* people and eventually they understood they can't deny fact.
If your family really and truly loves you, they should accept you. It just might take them slightly longer to get them to understand the full extent of what being transgender means. However, if you warm them up to the facts, hopefully they'll understand in time.
Quote from: Xenguy on July 18, 2014, 07:01:30 PM
I was in a situation similar to yours, before coming out I would talk to my mom and dad about gender identity and transgender topics. They always brushed it off or talked smack. I had no reason to think they would accept me, I come from a family of Christians, down to the very last one. However, when I did come out, they immediately accepted me, it's just it took them SO LONG to actually understand what this meant and how serious it was, they kept telling me it was a phase, but I showed them resources and stories of other trans* people and eventually they understood they can't deny fact.
If your family really and truly loves you, they should accept you. It just might take them slightly longer to get them to understand the full extent of what being transgender means. However, if you warm them up to the facts, hopefully they'll understand in time.
Ahhhh....~ I guess I'll be more upfront with a conversation more than just tip-toeing with vague questions.
I think being safe is the most important thing, so waiting till your out of the house if it isn't long is a good idea IMO.
One bit of advice, don't apologize when you come out. Do it from a position of strength, don't act like you owe anyone anything or did something wrong. After all, you don't. I have seen parents undermine their children much more often when they are telling them something big, as if they had done something wrong. You haven't done anything wrong, but if it comes across like that it can be far too easy to fall into familiar patterns, after all most parents are pretty used to dealing with their kids doing something "wrong" and tend to have knee jerk reactions on how to deal with that. If they never fall into that pattern they will do more actual thought on the issue.
I am not saying you should argue with them either though, state how it is, don't invite a debate. If your parents think this is an argument of some sort they will likely not really listen to the words you say. I have yet to meet a parent that didn't think they know better than their child at least most of the time. If you can remain calm and collected while you inform them about all this it will help tremendously, which is why I think coming out letters are many time better than coming out in person (I have done both, depending on the person).
Good luck for when you do tell them, they might react better than you think!
What I tell young trans folk is safety first. Always safety first. If you can be thrown out of your home or otherwise experience violence, then just hang on and wait til you can move out. Too many LGBT kids end up on the streets, not because they are runaways but because they've been thrown out of their own homes.
Quote from: LizMarie on July 23, 2014, 09:13:23 PM
What I tell young trans folk is safety first. Always safety first. If you can be thrown out of your home or otherwise experience violence, then just hang on and wait til you can move out. Too many LGBT kids end up on the streets, not because they are runaways but because they've been thrown out of their own homes.
This ...
Quote from: Hikari on July 18, 2014, 08:15:05 PM
I think being safe is the most important thing, so waiting till your out of the house if it isn't long is a good idea IMO.
One bit of advice, don't apologize when you come out. Do it from a position of strength, don't act like you owe anyone anything or did something wrong. After all, you don't. I have seen parents undermine their children much more often when they are telling them something big, as if they had done something wrong. You haven't done anything wrong, but if it comes across like that it can be far too easy to fall into familiar patterns, after all most parents are pretty used to dealing with their kids doing something "wrong" and tend to have knee jerk reactions on how to deal with that. If they never fall into that pattern they will do more actual thought on the issue.
... and this...
I'm older but I told my mom saying I have exciting news. She apologized and when I refused to be sad with her she had no where to go. I agree about strength, 100%.