Hi. My name is jan, I live in Australia and I'm... very very confused about myself.
For years, longer than i can remember, since i was very little, I have always wanted to be a boy. I did come out once to my parents about 6 years ago when I was 14. However, my dad wasn't very accepting. I forced myself to like my body for what it is, but i just don't feel very comfortable.
Im 20 now and recently i have been thinking deeply, but i am rather confused about myself. I really want to be male, but I also want to be non binary too.
Im not sure how to come out again, or how to go about being a man either. Im very very poor and can't afford a thing. Im also not sure how to break it to my boyfriend.
gdday Jan, and welcome to Susan's.
My first instinct is to direct you to a psychologist, but as you said that you are financially challenged and I am not conversant with health care in Aus (I'm in Canada) I will leave that to one of the Aussies on the board. As concerns 'how to be a man', I don't think I can help much there either as, apparently, I wasn't terribly good at that myself. What I would suggest is that you strive to be a good person. The masculinity in you will out by itself and if you do restore your hormone balance to better match your brain, things should, more or less, fall into place. I'm not going to tell you that it's easy-peasy. It's a difficult journey, but since embarking upon mine, I find that the world has become a better place in spite of the physical challenges. You will find good support and advice here, lad, you chose well :)
hugz,
-ellie
Hi Jan :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Please be sure to review
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Hugs
V M
Welcome, jan! You can write a letter for your parents, it lets you take your time in organizing your thoughts and your parents will be able to understand better.
Hi Jan,
Firstly welcome I'm one of the Aussies Ellie was telling you about. The rest should be waking up soon, you will find you have more brothers and sisters then you would relies down here scattered across this wide brown land of ours
I suggest counseling to figure out where you fit on the gender spectrum. I know in nsw some psychologist do bulk bill but the waiting list may be quite extensive, so I suggest you ask your gp for a referral to one as soon as possible. (The slight downside to this is they may not have experience in gender issues)
If you haven't already seen someone and you live in a capital city the gender center is another place to talk to someone who understands. They can't help you medically BUT a friendly ear sometimes can be just as good especially when you are starting out.
How to come out again, well I've never been one to call a spade a 'digging tool' it's a spade, (actually in my hands its an instrument of mischief, chaos and destruction >:-)). What I'm trying to say is be up front and tell them this is happening. Of course this is a lot easier once you've figured where you actually fit in the gender spectrum and are more confident and sure of yourself.
How to be a man, open your eyes, look and see. People come in all shapes and sizes just strive to be a good human being. Once your comfortable with yourself the rest will eventually fall into place.
Hope to see you around the forums soon
Gypsy
Hi Jan! A big warm welcome to Susan's. You are now a part of the family so pull up a chair and get comfy! :)
Welcome, Jan! I think you'll find some excellent resources and answers here. I know I have. Best of luck! :)
Thankyou so much you guys!! Sorry I didn't reply straight away (2 months oops crap) but its really nice to meed lots of people who understand and can give so much advice!
Welcome Jan to Susan's family.
We all have started the same as you.
Therapy, support and support is a key to walking the path.
Day at a time.
Thanks! its been rather long now, but the changes feel pretty fast!
Im currently going through therapy, figuring myself out, its hard though
Hi Jan, nice to meet you, even if I am fashionably late! Sounds like you're on your way. Looking forward to seeing you on the forums!
Hugs, Devlyn
Hi Jan, (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fmini-panda-21.gif&hash=aa747892f6a13c54e75506a3acf0e22ade9c95e9)
Welcome to our little family. Over 14295 members. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another brother. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet )O(