Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Rose City Rose on June 12, 2014, 10:16:37 PM

Title: Somatic Pain in Testes From Repressed Body Dysphoria?
Post by: Rose City Rose on June 12, 2014, 10:16:37 PM
So I'm a late-onset, MtF mostly-straight woman, six months into my journey living full-time and fairly happy with the decision.  My hair and voice are fine, I'm about 70% done with my laser hair removal, I've got a serviceable wardrobe for the time being (though I need to sell some things so I can buy more stuff to complete my wardrobe), and on my best days I'm easily read as a woman (mood and attitude seem to matter a lot).  I'm changing my name this summer hopefully (if I can pay the court fee) and I've been told by my therapist and a psychiatrist that I was transitioning successfully so getting approval for SRS won't be difficult for me.

The only problem, of course, is I still have six months to go, and even when I'm done braving the dreaded first year I'll still be hoping against hope that I can write good enough books to pay for my SRS.

In the mean time, I've been noticing a lot of testicular pain and discomfort.  Some of it could be from a varicocele I was diagnosed with in 2005 but I'm starting to think now that a lot of it is somatic.  At any rate, suddenly I feel like this is pushing me in the direction of wanting surgery more and it's starting to manifest as true body dysphoria.

But then, I've had that somatic discomfort for a long time, and I have to wonder if my somatic discomfort wasn't an early sign of repressed gender dysphoria.  Did anyone else have late-onset dysphoria and experience this before your dysphoria actually hit?  If you had SRS afterward, how did it feel once you had it done?  Did it come back as a phantom limb that still bothered you sometimes or did it alleviate the somatic issues completely?

I'm hoping to find some relief and that surgery will be enough.
Title: Re: Somatic Pain in Testes From Repressed Body Dysphoria?
Post by: PoeticHeart on June 12, 2014, 10:36:40 PM
I'm preop so I can't speak to how that effects things.

However, I've been noticing something akin to this in myself, and it's nice to have a string of thought to attach to it.