I'm the type that doesn't like to cry on their own troubles, but rather likes to watch sad things in order to cry once in awhile. On T for a while even when I got really frustrated I felt like the tears couldn't come. I'd get a crying headache, but no tears. I watched something very heartwarming the other day about love and it got me. Maybe because I really want to be married one day to someone, but it was heartwarming and I cried really hard for a few minutes in happiness. I was also elated because I haven't cried since the night I started T because I was in a bad place.
Then I had a really bad breakdown during a tooth pulling the other day. My mind was rlly calm, but my body was just wound up and I ended up hyperventilating. It didn't help that they just left me alone when I started to just cry all of a sudden. I couldn't speak or move or anything, It was really bad. The whole experience was horrible, but once again I felt really relieved to cry.
Things don't feel so muted in the 'sad' part of my brain anymore, but I attribute that to my own mental health where school was doing a number on me to the point where I was just coping.
How have you guys felt on T with emotions?
At first, I felt better. Then my dose got increased and I felt really better. I started to have caring and attracted (emotionally) sort of feelings for people which is something I hadn't felt in awhile. Unfortunately, those triggered a relapse in terms of memories, flashbacks, and abandonment issues.
I haven't been able to cry, but I'm more of an anger person anyway.
IM pre hrt M2F
So technically im still on T.
Crying for me, Is difficult if it is a shared sadness, e.g My aunt passed away and I felt realy bad that I couldn't cry, but looking back I Realise that was because I needed to be strong for my dad.
And when my mother left I didn't cry for years, It wasn't until a friends mom said she had three children, her two sons and me. (I suppose it was then that I came to terms that I wasn't going to see her again.)
I cry mostly when im on my own. When im around people I get angry and then cry (out of sight).
And mostly in a sad situation I just have the "feel bad" sort of emotion. And I can feel a bit distant. Like I should be crying and im not. And then I start to think that Im not normal.
What I've learned though is that, sometimes when I cry others don't, and I discovered that, events can cause the same feeling in various amounts in different people, i.e ever been told something wasn't THAT funny?
I think its a similar sensation with all emotions, I see something effecting somebody ells more and my feelings feel diminished sort of. You know, "my dad is already taking this pretty hard if he sees me cry It will make it worse for him." And that can take some of the weight of for me. Knowing that no matter how bad I feel it could be worse.
But with love stories they touch me, and something will cause a tear to fall.
I used to cry a lot, but the last time I cry was on the day 9 of T. I don't know if it is due to the T, but I think in my case it is rather a growing up/life stage change thing.
I'm not an emotional person to begin with, but I've never had trouble getting teary-eyed. Then again, so does my father, so perhaps it's genetic to some extent.
I'm odd. I still cry at the drop of a hat. I watch something sad, bam! I wrote a goodbye in my novel of one of the minor characters and bawled my eyes out. I was pretty aggressive pre T and now I'm very calm. But man, I have no trouble crying. I still hate mornings and I'm a jerk when I wake up, but overall I'm a much happier person and much more I touch with how I feel. The men in my life cry so I never associated it with anything abnormal for either sex. If anything, the women in my family are the hard asses.
I have noticed that when I cry it's more intense though.
Quote from: Ayden on June 16, 2014, 12:45:28 AM
I'm odd. I still cry at the drop of a hat. I watch something sad, bam! I wrote a goodbye in my novel of one of the minor characters and bawled my eyes out. I was pretty aggressive pre T and now I'm very calm. But man, I have no trouble crying. I still hate mornings and I'm a jerk when I wake up, but overall I'm a much happier person and much more I touch with how I feel. The men in my life cry so I never associated it with anything abnormal for either sex. If anything, the women in my family are the hard asses.
I have noticed that when I cry it's more intense though.
I've had the same experience, especially where my family is concerned. I'm more prone to getting "onion eyes" as opposed to crying, though.
There was definitely a period of time where I had to adjust to the change in how I felt emotions, and it was confusing. My thoughts and feelings were the same but they felt different in my body and I didn't know how to understand them. For a while, they seemed really stuck? With estrogen I felt like this burning heat throughout all of my body when I had a strong emotion, whereas now, I feel emotions more in my headzone I guess. Although that being said, for the first year my dose was too low, so it's possible that it was due to a hormone maladjustment rather than actual change and that's why it was a struggle. Now, I just have the same feelings but they don't make my blood boil, they just sort of stir around in the head.
All in all it's been a very good thing. I can still cry, but I have more control over it - the floodgates are less likely to open without my consent lol.
I never was really one to cry before hrt, I'd get sometimes overly emotional at random commercials or touching stories but that really was it. I'm one of those hold it in until it pours out types so I've had break downs but they were few and far apart.
Nothing really has changed per say as far as that goes but when I get to the point of break down I do find it harder to actually let go and cry now. I had to surrender my 2 cats I had had for 5 years and that took actual effort to cry for just 5 minutes. I was emotionally beatin and depressed but literally the water works were like if I had a small dam built in my eyes. It was painful and gave me a pretty big headache afterwards.
I get a tad teary eyed still at the emotional commercials but never shed a tear. I'm not sure if I like this now or not.
I cry much less because things have been getting much better since I started T but I can still cry if I want to. T hasn't made it hard for me to cry, I just don't feel like crying :P
I used to cry like a baby for the most ridiculous reasons, such as a sob story on The X Factor. I hated it, because it felt so disempowering to be crying hysterically when what was happening wasn't really that big of a deal. And of course, my whole family would always stare at me whilst I was crying, making a big deal out of it - which made me feel 1000% worse. :(
After only a month or two on T, I found that I had much more control over my crying; it finally felt normal. I can still cry if something really upsetting happens IRL, and my eyes sometimes get moist (but don't spill over) when something emotional happens on the TV... but I no longer wail for no good reason like I used to.
It's such a huge relief, and it's one of the many reasons why I'm enormously grateful to be on T.
I suspect that T distances ones ability to readily cry.
Preteen I was very emotional, then I sort of disconnected in puberty - I basically could feel sad but would almost never cry. On E and a blocker, I feel water works come on fairly easily.
Campanella, having a tooth out can be traumatic! It's ok to cry in that situation!!
Pre-T, reading about other guys' experiences of "not being able to cry on T" - I honestly admit I was skeptical and thought it must be some kind of subconscious adapted behaviour. But I have found it to be absolutely true for myself - I struggle to cry when I feel that I "should" - as someone mentioned, with a relative passing away - there's just nothing there (yes, sadness, but no tears). Then randomly - I can cry when I hear a beautiful song or watch a really sad or triumphant moment in a movie. Go figure.
For me, before HRT, if I got angry I would cry. My anger and sadness were muddled. I really could not feel one without the other. Now I feel anger and sadness as very distinct emotions, so no more crying when I am angry, which is nice. I can still cry when I am sad.
I do not know if this is due to changes in my anterior commissure or some other brain change.
I get more aggressive, it increases the more I feel myself and that's weird. If I'm nervous I prefer physical activities to relax and I never get emotional with movies, I almost never cry I see it's useless don't know why I feel this way.
Quote from: luna nyan on June 16, 2014, 05:30:01 AM
I suspect that T distances ones ability to readily cry.
Preteen I was very emotional, then I sort of disconnected in puberty - I basically could feel sad but would almost never cry. On E and a blocker, I feel water works come on fairly easily.
Campanella, having a tooth out can be traumatic! It's ok to cry in that situation!!
I didn't want to cry and it was more of a 'I'm really anxious and I'm at the breaking point' sort of thing. That makes me feel better though. I'm healing up now so I don't feel bad for breaking down.
Quote from: birkin on June 16, 2014, 02:28:26 AM
There was definitely a period of time where I had to adjust to the change in how I felt emotions, and it was confusing. My thoughts and feelings were the same but they felt different in my body and I didn't know how to understand them. For a while, they seemed really stuck? With estrogen I felt like this burning heat throughout all of my body when I had a strong emotion, whereas now, I feel emotions more in my headzone I guess. Although that being said, for the first year my dose was too low, so it's possible that it was due to a hormone maladjustment rather than actual change and that's why it was a struggle. Now, I just have the same feelings but they don't make my blood boil, they just sort of stir around in the head.
All in all it's been a very good thing. I can still cry, but I have more control over it - the floodgates are less likely to open without my consent lol.
I always explained my emotions like this to be honest. With E, when I was angry or sad It was this long burning fire that I couldn't extinguish, and now I'm like a spark that goes out super easy. I used to be very quick to anger and hard to calm down and now it's like a flash of heat. I get angry and then the logic of my anger dissipates.
It's good to see that I'm not alone in the 'this dumb story hit my feelings really hard even though it's kinda corny' club too hahah.
I've cried all my life . My name was tiny tears in grade school at least that's the name given to me by the school bullies . A girl friend of mine when I was 20 told me I wasn't a man because I cried . well, she was right about that. Estrogen has just made me cry for absolutely no reason. I like crying it kind of washes my brain.
I experienced a huge change change emotionally once I started T. FWIW, my doc increased my dose of anxiety/depression meds when I started as well, so I can't be sure which caused the changes. But before T, I would cry at the drop of a hat. Had a fight with my partner, got critiqued at work, whatever. I would cry. I honestly have not cried at all since I started T, and I'll be a year on T in about two weeks. My emotions are so much more stable now. Especially during that time of the month, I would be extremely moody and emotional. Now I always just feel normal and much more laid back. I do find I am quicker to anger than I was before, but I'm slower to get upset in any other way. I can still feel sad or get down, but it's less intense and it's a lot easier to "get over" things instead of dwelling on them. I am very thankful for the changes and hope I never have to go back to the way I was pre-T!
Well before T, I was an obvious bottler. Bottled rage, bottled tears, bottled pleasure... So now, remembering things like being screamed and cursed at as a little kid; sometimes the thoughts do almost make me cry since being on T for a while... and whereas before T I would feel it in my heart or soul or whatever, now I feel it in the pit of my stomach like a disease. So sometimes I'll shut down my mind with my headphones on when nobody is around and just deal, but other times I will let some tears fall. Usually in the bathroom with locked doors and only a high-up privacy window. Sorry I digress, just a hopefully-not-too-disturbing example of how after T, thinking about any strong, soul-crushing, or downright nightmarish memories is actually more likely to get me watery-eyed and tighten up my throat like my body wants to cry more now than before T, when if it didn't make me cry when it was happening, it wouldn't make me cry later. Now it's like T came in and said "come on, quit Hank Hilling it and let those demons out already. Nobody's going to think you're a girl," and estrogen goes down the drain quietly with no objections... still don't really cry though, because I'm still too numb or content or scared to cry or whatever. I would be too tired to really lose it anyway, my lungs don't like it (I used to smoke Marlboro red 100s), and I've always been more of an implode-and-collapse kind of sad-sack. So T didn't affect that part, but I do see how it could for some guys. Make them more or less prone to uncontrollable sobbing fits. :-\
And as for physical pain, I haven't been hurt hard enough to know if I would still cry from pain (or how much it would take if so) because the last time I really hurt myself was on a bike with no brakes going downhill when I was like, nine. I may have been a young tomboy version of Johnny Knoxville in hindsight, and I mean only slightly more careful, with remarkably few pain-tears. So I'm sure I'm due for a punch in the face sometime before I turn 25 in a few years; we'll see if I cry or not. Probably not. I bet a broken nose would suit me and who doesn't love a good nosebleed.
I couldn't cry much before T, I had like 3 or 4 times a year when I got that sad and depressed to cry. But I also was depressed of not being myself and distracting myself from other people. Since I'm on T I only cried on my girlfriend's funeral, just a few teardrops but you can imagine how sad, frustrated, angry whatever I was. Sometimes it would be good to cry and ease frustration, but I found that physical activity helps me a lot.
For physical pain I don't remember crying but swearing a lot.
I've been on T for a few years. I cry more easily than I used to at the "right" points in movies or songs, where it's obvious that a person is supposed to be affected, even if it is an emotional story I don't find very compelling. I find it harder to cry over my own personal stuff than I used to. My total time spent crying has not changed, but the nature of it definitely has.
Too lazy to read through this thread but have any of you noticed any differences in difficulty crying pre- versus post-HRT? I can't say I have noticed any difference and one of the things that bother me the most is how I've always had an easy time crying and I had hoped HRT would change that because I heard rumors it could, but guess not.
Quote from: Ayden on June 16, 2014, 12:45:28 AMI have noticed that when I cry it's more intense though.
I have to say that I have gotten more extreme in my emotions in general when I started T. I noticed it in the first week. When I do feel things everything is always really intense whereas before it was more I felt things but in a more mellow way. Now it's more of an either-or thing.
Quote from: Ephemeral on June 23, 2014, 07:43:38 AM
Too lazy to read through this thread but have any of you noticed any differences in difficulty crying pre- versus post-HRT? I can't say I have noticed any difference and one of the things that bother me the most is how I've always had an easy time crying and I had hoped HRT would change that because I heard rumors it could, but guess not.
I cry just as easily, it just burns my eyes more and I swear my tears are saltier even with my low sodium diet. Go figure.