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Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: April Lee on June 16, 2014, 08:14:48 PM

Title: I was crying in my pictures today
Post by: April Lee on June 16, 2014, 08:14:48 PM
I was taking pictures of myself with a webcam to see how my new makeup regimen is working. I was looking at my image in the computer monitor, and while I was doing that, I had another one of those mystical moments that have punctuated my transition. I realized that I was looking at an almost an exact duplicate of my mother. Maybe with different fashion choices, but it was definitely my mom's eyes looking back me.

I then daydreamed that she was there in the room with me, and for a moment or two we just stared at each other. I then started to speak, "Mom, I am April, your daughter. I am so terribly sorry that I didn't have the courage to tell you that while you were alive. My mom, reached out and hugged me. I then heard her whisper in my ear, "April, I have always known who you really were. and I will always love you".



(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi58.tinypic.com%2F30csq9x.jpg&hash=571b9ac37c39d711ed2c5dc1e6e137a7c53ad107)
Title: Re: I was crying in my pictures today
Post by: Vicky on June 16, 2014, 08:23:23 PM
You have me reaching for the Kleenex too doll!!  The picture looks great as well.
Title: Re: I was crying in my pictures today
Post by: Megan Joanne on June 16, 2014, 08:30:37 PM
Oh geez, now you did it, you got me all teary eyed.  :'(
Title: Re: I was crying in my pictures today
Post by: Emily.T on June 16, 2014, 08:45:28 PM
That is so lovely April and inspiring to me because I haven't told my dad yet and he is 70 and in a nursing home but I'm just not sure how to tell him without crushing what spirit he has left, but I also relies that I can't hide it forever.
Title: Re: I was crying in my pictures today
Post by: Rachel on June 16, 2014, 08:53:48 PM
April Lee, that was beauiful. Tears are rolling.
Title: Re: I was crying in my pictures today
Post by: Hideyoshi on June 16, 2014, 09:27:13 PM
how sweet and sad (;
Title: Re: I was crying in my pictures today
Post by: Emjay on June 16, 2014, 11:15:38 PM
Wow....  Just.....  Wow April

Very touching, I'm sure your mom would love the true you!  :)

I had one of those moments last year, strangely enough with my webcam too.  I was doing pretty much the same thing you were, just taking pix and in one I swear I look exactly like my mom when she was my age.  That one still freaks me out a little bit, and makes me really happy every single time I look at it.  :)

Moments like that are magic
Title: Re: I was crying in my pictures today
Post by: Misha on June 17, 2014, 10:27:08 AM
I hope my laptop won't be too wet from how much reading your short story made me cry. Moments like that are precious. And as AmazinglyAutumn said I bet your mother would recognize and love her daughter.

I had one moment on May 24th evening (38 days on estrogens at that time) I looked into mirror after brushing my teeth. And in shock I stared at the face of my older sister. Ever since then when I look into a mirror I say to myself in my mind: "Yes, that's really you."
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