Currently i'm following the news because there changing the trans rules here, which so far been for the better.
One of the thing I am curious about is how they are planning to change the guidance for threatment of transexuals.
So far it has only been 1 place who was allowed to deal with transexuals and there threatment, and the new guide is written kinda unclear whenever it will still only be 1 place to deal with it, or if more places are allowed to threat transexuals. However it explain how the procces on getting permission are made, and one the the things which disturb me is that its a requirement that they need informations of the persons "sexual developement"
I have no idea what or how much informations that is required on this option but so far sexual information have been a pretty big deal when people where seaching permission to get a letter to get homones, or a surgery and such things. question of how much you mastrubate or how you have sex is common questions I also had these questions when I was there for 6 years ago and I didn't like it.
Then yesterday I read a jounal where the person also had got asked sexual questions and her answer have been written down her on records. I felt pretty disturbed reading this questions and records, I wonder how common this is in general? or if it only here? So my question on susan is if you ever got sexual questions from ex. gender therapist and you felt they reached your limit or where okay,
I also want to know what you think of the informations or questions which these doctor have asked about have been too much or normal?
Quote
here is some sexual details a doctor have wrotte about an mtf:
*after finishing school he got his first girlfriend and had a few one night stands, then he meet his ex wife at the age of 20 and they do not have contact anymore.
* he say that despide not being able to have an erection he can give his partner many orgasms and she can stimulate him by touching his niple, the couple uses a dildo.
* the patient is not religious or criminal, and havent been sexual abused as a kid, however he desribe being raped by a woman some month ago where he refused to have sex
* tells that he wears female underwear during sex.
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Here is a little quote from my own experience on which question I recieved when I was 16. its the same doctor who asked this questions which have written the quote of the mtf above:
doctor: why are you here?
me: I dont feel like I am a girl
doctor: are you parrents divorced?
me: no but they dont live together,
doctor: have you ever been violated or sexual abused?
me: no
doctor: what did you play with as a child boy or girltoys?
me: I played with dinosaurs
doctor: do you manly have male or female friends?
me: its a mixed group, I dont jugde my ability to be friend with people by there gender
doctor: "are you into men or women"
me: "I like both"
doctor: "so do you mastrubate?
me: well.. yeah.
doctor: how often..
me: I dont know.. maybe 2-3 time a week
doctor: I guess thats normal. do you have lover?
me: I guess.... (at that time we had been dating for around a week or 2)
doctor: is it a boy or a girl
me: its a guy
doctor: do you have sex:
me: no I havent really done that.
doctor: well dont you think you should do that first.
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Sounds normal from my experience. They have to know what is going on in one's life to adequately treat them. Yes, everything said in a Therapy, Psychology or Psychiatric session is recorded as they are legally binding medical records. They do have to have a legally issued subpoena to open them without cause though. They are privileged documents. :)
Yeah, my experience here in the UK was very similar.
They asked about my sexual orientation, what kinds of sexual acts I enjoy, how I masturbate (and how frequently)... all that personal stuff. It seems very intrusive, and I thought it seemed to be tied in to the old 'sex = gender' view that used to be so prevalent.
They also asked whether I'd been abused, and they spent quite a lot of time looking into the ways in which I was abused to see whether any of them could account for my transness.
At the moment, they're pushing me to go out & have sex with someone else. I'm still technically married but my husband has ended our sexual relationship - so the clinic keeps pushing me to rush out & have sex with someone else ASAP. As if I have to have sex with a gay man - any gay man - to prove to them that I'm gay. ::)
I'll do it in my own good time, thank you. >:(
questions are okay maybe, but sexuality is not gender identity. The idea that a therapist would push anyone to have sex is about the most absurd thing I have ever heard. I would politely rebuff them first and if they continued I would find a new therapist.
It's been a long time, so I can't recall which exact questions my therapist asked. But we did discuss my sex life. Didn't bother me. I'm not shy about that type of thing.
I think some degree of sex oriented discussions with the therapist is important. Mainly because in most cases, your sex life or partners will change (going from straight to gay men for example). Also physically as well, due to hormones and surgeries. But without judgment - just making sure the patient is prepared for the changes.
Quote from: Hikari on June 17, 2014, 10:02:49 AM
The idea that a therapist would push anyone to have sex is about the most absurd thing I have ever heard.
Ni kidding! You have to have sex to transition? What is up with that? That is the most irresponsible thing I have ever heard from a Health Care provider. ::)
Quote from: Hikari on June 17, 2014, 10:02:49 AM
questions are okay maybe, but sexuality is not gender identity. The idea that a therapist would push anyone to have sex is about the most absurd thing I have ever heard. I would politely rebuff them first and if they continued I would find a new therapist.
I'd love to, but this is the UK. With good ol' socialised medicine, you don't get to choose who you see - you get whoever is assigned to you. Especially with GICs, where the waiting lists are up to several years long... :(
But yeah, I just ignored her when she said that. Pushing a patient to go out & have sex with random people is a dangerous idea, particularly if the patient is younger and less experienced than I am. I'd hate to think that she'd suggest it to an 18-year-old.
I cant believe that they would push someone to just go out and have sex with someone....
Sounds like something from a cult!
I personally could be waiting years to sleep with someone, my gender identity and my body make it an arkward experience to enjoy with someone that doesnt know what I like.
NOTHING sounds worse than if I pulled a guy and he was obsessed with my genitals or he turned out to be submissive.
I know I would probably creating an entire false event personally, im never dishonnest to a therapist and would never encourage anyone else to but I wouldnt be able to do that...
Quote from: FTMDiaries on June 17, 2014, 09:53:45 AM
At the moment, they're pushing me to go out & have sex with someone else. I'm still technically married but my husband has ended our sexual relationship - so the clinic keeps pushing me to rush out & have sex with someone else ASAP. As if I have to have sex with a gay man - any gay man - to prove to them that I'm gay. ::)
I'll do it in my own good time, thank you. >:(
Yeah its the same and I was 16 when they suggest me to do it without knowing any details of my relationships.
I was really confussed why they suggested me having sex as part of my transition advice, it not really like I turn non-trans for doing so ???
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 17, 2014, 09:52:58 AM
Sounds normal from my experience. They have to know what is going on in one's life to adequately treat them. Yes, everything said in a Therapy, Psychology or Psychiatric session is recorded as they are legally binding medical records. They do have to have a legally issued subpoena to open them without cause though. They are privileged documents. :)
I am really confussed on you,
you say it all normal, but at FTMDiaries post you are sceptical even thou its the same experience we decribe? ???
Quote from: Natkat on June 17, 2014, 01:21:56 PM
I am really confussed on you,
you say it all normal, but at FTMDiaries post you are sceptical even thou its the same experience we decribe? ???
The medical questioning is normal, not telling you to go out and have sex. Telling you to have sex is the abnormal part.
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 17, 2014, 02:35:58 PM
The medical questioning is normal, not telling you to go out and have sex. Telling you to have sex is the abnormal part.
so my doctor saying "dont you think you should do that first." refering to me having sex, is not telling me to have sex????
thats the part I dont get, but thanks for sharing your opinion.
Quote from: Natkat on June 17, 2014, 02:55:42 PM
so my doctor saying "dont you think you should do that first." refering to me having sex, is not telling me to have sex????
thats the part I dont get, but thanks for sharing your opinion.
Huh? ??? Can't clarify it anymore. The questions about your sexual history are OK. Telling you to have sex IS NOT.
Quote from: Jessica MerrimanThe questions about your sexual history are OK. Telling you to have sex IS NOT.
This. It strikes me as incredibly unprofessional.
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 17, 2014, 02:58:21 PM
Huh? ??? Can't clarify it anymore. The questions about your sexual history are OK. Telling you to have sex IS NOT.
its not my sexual history, its quotes from a record I borrow of an mtf, to show which parts they ask and writte down,
then I used myself as exemple to show how they ask these questions. I could also had used the mtfs exemples but it would had been very long and I dont think people would want to read a 5 page long post.
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I will try to clarify it:
the 2 story of her and me is the same place and the same doctor. theres only one place which can give you permission to transition and its them. you gain this permission by going to there therapy for a year or more, answering questions and taking test, if you pass then you can transition and if not then not.
people like this mtf Above are usunally asked question which focus about the sex they have had in the past, and that they are not real transexual if they have a certain kind of sex in there life which can be seen as "normal hetrosexual" by there view. if you on the other hand did not have sex or did not have "normal sex" then they will ask you to try that first.
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I've gotten the impression that gender therapists are less interested in sexuality in recent years. Only a few years ago I heard stories about people being told "you can't be trans and gay" or "you can't be trans and straight" by different therapists, but it's been a while since I heard anything like that (locally).
During my own process, my psychiatrist wanted to know my orientation and how I felt about my current equipment. My psychologist asked the same two questions, and my counsellor only wanted to know my orientation.
I was never asked any of these things, except on a form I filled out once and don't think I handed in actually...and no, I don't think they are appropriate. Sex can be a part of dysphoria but it's not all about sex, not even close. I think non-sexual discussions are sufficient to determine whether or not someone needs treatment.
From reading the example, it sounds like the Doctor has a typical 1980 gatekeeping perspective.
Suggesting a person have a particule type of sex to "fit the mold" is just wrong.
Unfortumately, it sounds like they are the only resource so in order to transition it appears certain answers to certain questions weigh upon the diagnosis.
I was only asked about my husband and even then it was questions about how stable we were, if he was supportive and we were having sex. That was it.
Well it is pretty irresponsible for a therapist to tell a 16 yr old to try to have sex. I can actually see why a therapist would ask an already sexually active person those questions though. To find out what that person felt whether, dysphoric, jealous of their parnters gender, whether or not they could enjoy it, if they had to fantasize while doing it or in order to do it and about a million other things that a person could feel including not being able to have sex at all.
Without going into detail I know me and a lot of what I feel and how I percieve myself and how I do have sex with a woman is actually more of a lesbian type thing for me. And it always has been. So I really think that those questions are fairly legitimate if a person is 18 or over or is already sexually active. But at 16 and pushing that person to have sex if they have never had it before is really irresponsible and probably not even legal in most areas.
Hi Natkat
I believe that you as the patient should lead this line in investigation. My psychologist asked me to lead the sessions rather than respond to her prompting me. I freely provided the key information, as it was in my interest to be honest and direct. But if you're not comfortable answering some questions this is your right.
A good therapist is trying to build up a strong picture of the patient, but some form of doctor-patient confidentiality should exist, and you should ask about this and discuss your concerns. As you become more comfortable you can open up and discuss your more sensitive subjects.
Julia
I don't remember if or how my therapist asked me about sex. I know she knew I was dating a guy at the time, and that I was sexually active. I was vocal about my ongoing attraction to men. I do remember that my therapist was very secretive about my gender orientation, and didn't want me to tell any of her other clients about it. After saying she'd give me a hormone letter after a certain number of sessions, she then changed her mind and said that her boss told her that they "don't do that," but I threatened her with legal action and then she gave me a letter. She asked me to never show my face in her office after the hormones took effect.
Sometimes I think our therapists have more issues than we do.
Erm, I don't know if I feel I'd be able to go through with hormones if I get asked these questions - especially if they want me to actually... you know... do the hanky panky first *shudders* :( do you think all of them ask these questions? Some of these therapists sound.......... unpleasant.
My therapist didn't initiate ANY questions about my sexuality or sex practices. Anything I felt like sharing was fine, but he recognizes that one's sexual orientation and sexual experiences do not dictate gender identity.
Quote from: AnomalyEternal on June 23, 2014, 02:36:23 AM
Erm, I don't know if I feel I'd be able to go through with hormones if I get asked these questions - especially if they want me to actually... you know... do the hanky panky first *shudders* :( do you think all of them ask these questions? Some of these therapists sound.......... unpleasant.
it depends on your area. I ask here because I wanted a more worldwide view on how normal it is.
Quote from: Natkat on June 25, 2014, 07:55:26 AM
it depends on your area. I ask here because I wanted a more worldwide view on how normal it is.
I think the questions about trying sex first may simply be a very clumsy way of seeing whetherthe patient is trans or maybe gay. One of my therapists very actively tried to persuade me down the gay route. Yes, I tried it. Yes, I really like men. No, I'm not gay - I am trans.
But all my therapists were female and I never was asked or suggested to me to go and have sex. NatKat, it kind-of feels like your doctor/therapist is male, maybe you've said this? That would make some difference I think.
Quote from: Julia-Madrid on June 25, 2014, 08:35:27 AM
But all my therapists were female and I never was asked or suggested to me to go and have sex. NatKat, it kind-of feels like your doctor/therapist is male, maybe you've said this? That would make some difference I think.
no its a female like most of the doctors in the theam she is part of, but I don't see her gender to be a jugdement on whenever she is good or bad or allowed to ask these questions or not.
I'm not sure what to expect in therapy, but if it doesn't come up in going to bring it up. As bi-gender, my 2 halves both have their needs, wants, and desires. Orientation might not be related to gender, but sexuality certainly is, or at least it is for me.