Am I the only one who won't get on T (yet at least) because I don't like facial/body hair, too deep voice, masculine features etc.?
I love a feminine guy look, and that's how I look now, but if I start T I'm going to get all the stuff I don't want.
But I don't know what I'm going to feel in the future though.
Is it possible to get on a really low dose of T? So it only takes a ''working'' on the brain?
I'm not sure if I'm even transgender if this is how I feel about T.
It's also causing me to be dysphoric about being somewhere in the middle. So bleh... I don't really know what to do with myself to be at peace.
I'd say speak to a therapist about your feelings.
You can't pick and choose what changes you'll get with T, regardless of how low a dosage you take.
I agree to talk to a doctor about your feelings. You don't have to go on T to transition, and if you wanted top, you don't need T to get it even. There are options, but talking to a therapist about what you'd like out of transitioning may help you.
Testosterone is a very powerful medication and brings changes quite quickly. I was started on a "low" does and I had irreversible changes within a few months. You want to make sure it's the best thing for you, and if it isn't, that's fine. You don't have to fall into any category.
It would be wise to talk someone about your feelings and get them all sorted out in your head before you consider hormones.
You'd have to be on a very low dose to not masculinize you. Obviously this is doable to some extent. Cis women can take T, so obviously you can take a dose that won't do that much (but raise sex drive, I mean that's the point). The thing is I can't discuss doses but I'd suggest you reading this article. http://neutrois.me/2012/08/27/low-dose-testosterone/
You should read their other articles as well. They (they/their preferred pronoun) still did masculinize and their voice still got lower, but this is the only well-researched article I know of. That all said, you can't control what T might do, you don't know.
--Jay
Yes, yes and yes on going to therapist. I've been on T for almost two years and I'm still pretty androgynous, but body hair (some light, some dark) went everywhere within that time and my voice sounds like any other boy in the middle of puberty. I didn't turn into a yeti or anything but leg hair has always annoyed me and so does most other body hair, but I deal because it's totally worth it to me, but could be a nasty deal breaker for someone else. You could get get body hair, muscles, or voice results that you might hate, and you might not. But the androgyny will go away, so yes, a therapist and you should dig into this and possibly figure something out that you'll be cool with. Like others have and will always tell you, you won't be able to pick out changes from testosterone.
Lots of people stay outside the 'gender binary' and go on T anyway, and lots of guys that fully identify as guys never get on T for all kinds of reasons. Some guys only go on T for a while and then stop. Reasons like not wanting to physically alter their body or face, not wanting all or any of the changes or 'side effects' from T, not caring about physically or socially 'passing' as anything etc. so yeah, T isn't mandatory or even right for everybody. For me and many others yes, but not for everybody. For some people, altering their body would feel wrong. For others, allowing their body to stay and continue to develop without T would feel wrong.
I think you need to think about what you want from transitioning. You might look like a young feminine guy now, but what about in 10 or 15 years time? You're not going to stay looking like a younger person forever, with or without T.
Yes, exactly... that is all I worry about, what I will look like in 10, 20 + years etc... I need to get this sorted out, because most women have short hair after 40+, so then I would just be one of them, only in mens wear... Omg, this ->-bleeped-<-ing sucks so bad... I've always thought I'd commit suicide when I got around 30-40 and couldn't stay ''young looking'' any longer... But that's not a healthy thought to have either
Quote from: staypositive1 on June 18, 2014, 08:04:14 AM
Am I the only one who won't get on T (yet at least) because I don't like facial/body hair, too deep voice, masculine features etc.?
I love a feminine guy look, and that's how I look now, but if I start T I'm going to get all the stuff I don't want.
But I don't know what I'm going to feel in the future though.
Is it possible to get on a really low dose of T? So it only takes a ''working'' on the brain?
I'm not sure if I'm even transgender if this is how I feel about T.
It's also causing me to be dysphoric about being somewhere in the middle. So bleh... I don't really know what to do with myself to be at peace.
You are very fortunate being FTM vs being MTF. You don't need facial hair or a destinct masculine appearance to present yourself as either male or gender neutral. It will be rather easy for you to be accepted as either without any noticable physical transition. Just be confident in which ever mode you choose.
Having facial hair and male genitals can be a definite disadvantage for an MTF person as it can be difficult to hide them. However, not having them does not present the same disadvantage for an FTM person. In reality, male genitals are only essential for sexual intercourse.
I would talk to a therapist about it, T is a strong hormone, of course changes won't happen right away though, so if you did do a low dose, it would take awhile for the changes to happen, but they still will happen, if your worried about hair you can just shave, my gf doesn't like hairy guys, so i shave my legs still (what i do for love lol), I been one month on T and no voice deepening yet, so it does take awhile, you can always stop T, but some changes are irreversible, a doctor will go over it with you, maybe you should talk to a doctor about it too, see what they say
Quote from: staypositive1 on June 18, 2014, 04:18:21 PM
Yes, exactly... that is all I worry about, what I will look like in 10, 20 + years etc... I need to get this sorted out, because most women have short hair after 40+, so then I would just be one of them, only in mens wear... Omg, this ->-bleeped-<-ing sucks so bad... I've always thought I'd commit suicide when I got around 30-40 and couldn't stay ''young looking'' any longer... But that's not a healthy thought to have either
At almost 30 myself I can honestly say my life is awesome. I look like I'm way younger than I am without looking like a minor, so its the best place I have been so far. Depending on how old you are now (if you are under 18, please don't share!) it seems like 30-40 is "old". But it really isn't; most people are just settling into careers, starting families or getting into the swing of life at 30. I have heard my younger siblings tell me that life ends at 30 when they can't wear their hot topic pants or their Hollister or their ed hardy. All i can do is laugh because i remember thinking the same thing. Now you couldn't pay me enough to be that age again.
You don't need to get hormones to be male looking, androgynous, or anything like that. I would say given your level of uncertainty it would be irresponsible for you to get HRT without talking to professionals. I do want to say that if you are ever considering suicide because you won't be "young looking", seek help.
I actually just stumbled onto this photo gallery of masculine women who aren't on T I would believe and of course identify as a women. BUT still resemble feminine males in some of those ect. And are older! You can still look really attractive as you gain age. I know I got a few older crushes for sure and heck my arse is about to hit 30 in three years lol
The gallery: http://www.policymic.com/articles/86527/9-portraits-of-butch-women-proving-masculinity-is-a-trait-not-a-gender
Also I'm going to echo the others. Therapy is a great thing, not to shy away from. It really does help a ton just speaking to a neutral, out of your environment, person who knows a thing or two about what you might be feeling and how to help you.
I won't go into what other people have said about not being able to predict changes, since it's already been discussed a lot.
I can tell you that there is the possibility of looking androgynous. I am 2 years in. I am almost always read as male, in looks and voice, but I do think I am quite borderline and could pass as female were I willing to put in some effort (i.e. makeup, women's clothes). Shaving my face and body would be another story as I've turned into a small bear. Though I've never tried to pass as female so maybe I am wrong lol.
Thing is, those things you've mentioned are most of the major changes of T...which could be a problem if your genetics predisposition you to super manliness/hairiness. Are there other things that you could do to help you feel more comfortable with your body and appearance? Like working out to feel strong and healthy (related to youthfulness), buying clothes that make you feel really great (they can make all the difference), doing activities that make you feel happy and give you a sense of more general well-being?
Quote from: lxndr on June 18, 2014, 04:01:23 PM
I think you need to think about what you want from transitioning. You might look like a young feminine guy now, but what about in 10 or 15 years time? You're not going to stay looking like a younger person forever, with or without T.
I agree. It's easy to look androgynous when you are young, but as you age it becomes harder and harder.
This is really true. I look like a (very young) male in my 20s, and if I was binding then I'm sure that would have happened. In my 40s and up, rarely was ever read as male. The thing is that being smooth shaven works a lot well as being younger than your age. I'm guessing it's the same with androgyny.
--Jay
Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on June 18, 2014, 08:07:31 PM
I agree. It's easy to look androgynous when you are young, but as you age it becomes harder and harder.
Remember that it's not a race. So take your time to figure out yourself before starting on medical treatment.
I will say though that it really depends on the person as far as not looking androgynous as you get older. For me, I looked male early in life and was more androgynous starting in my 30s.
Quote from: staypositive1 on June 18, 2014, 08:04:14 AM
Am I the only one who won't get on T (yet at least) because I don't like facial/body hair, too deep voice, masculine features etc.?
I love a feminine guy look, and that's how I look now, but if I start T I'm going to get all the stuff I don't want.
What effects of T
do you want?
I don't want facial or chest hair, either, and I'm not likely to get much due to genetics. Electrolysis can take care of the hair issue down the road, or you can shave. I do want a deeper voice and more masculine features, and more muscle. Unless your voice is super low right now, you're probably not going to sound like James Earl Jones after being on T a few years. And you can train your voice up just like MTF's do.
Have you looked at the before and after pics of the guys on here? If they looked pretty before T, I think they still look pretty after T, but in a masculine way. And I mean that as a sincere compliment :)
-Jay
I'm three months on T and my voice is already as deep as my brothers. I haven't put on the muscle he has quite, but I'm not far behind. My genetics predisposition me to not have very much body hair, and I don't want chest hair, but I'm getting a small beard and my legs hair is definitely different from a female who doesn't shave her legs.
I have also started growing that "happy trail" but it's slow going with that. I want that part and my brother and I are confusing people at work (we work together) because we dress alike and sound exactly the same. And that's only three months and a week for me.
In a few more months it would probably be impossible to tell us apart. And he's only three years younger than me, and born male. T can cause a lot of changes and quickly. There's no picking and choosing. My face broadened out a bit, less andro like it was to like my brothers face but I could probably dress the right way to present as andro, but I started getting sirred about a month ago consistently, and with my voice now it would be difficult even with my currently feminine legal name. (that's changing in a month).
My feet are growing for sure but just a little bit and my body has changed from being soft and feminine /androgynous to definitely masculine.
I wouldn't do anything without speaking for a long time to a therapist. I can no longer hit high notes in songs, though I'm hoping once my voice settles I can retrain it to go up.
Essentially you need to weigh what it is you WANT from T and what it is you DO NOT want from T. I absolutely hate body hair for example, and I hoped I would be one of those guys who wouldn't get that much body hair because I'm Asian but no, of course life's irony is that I get quite hairy all over my chest. I panicked at first quite a fair bit but I eventually accepted that this is just the way it's going to be, and as others pointed out, you can't just cherrypick the stuff you want and don't want. Chest hair is still something you can deal with later in life (epilation for example), and I totally want that voice and body shape so it was really just to deal with the fact that I'll get facial and body hair. I haven't really gotten much facial hair though so I'm not really complaining much, but it's not like I like I was positive towards it initially either but you know what, my opinion actually changed. I like the idea of having it as a POTENTIAL, so if I want to save out I can do that and have a stubble (though a pathetically looking one).
So really, you need to just decide whether the bad things overweight the good things. You can indeed not pick and choose, but if it helps, the same is true for all other biologically born guys too. Some of them have really ->-bleeped-<-ty genetics (say, hairy family) and they may hate body hair. We get so stuck up seeking our gender ideal that we forget that it's not just about about that and that we can be happy and feel male despite not being 100% the way we want it to be.
i have some younger friends who are on very low doses (or not at all) and androgynous but I am pretty sure over time they will be read consistently as female. You can get to a rather low dose that won't masculinize you very much, though how much it will actually help is another story. The ability to get to this dose would depend on how much the doctor is into this whole concept of non-binary and your own genetics. Some genetics run more towards hairy. You can look at both sides of the family for this (as presumably you are XX).
--Jay
Quote from: staypositive1 on June 18, 2014, 08:04:14 AM
Am I the only one who won't get on T (yet at least) because I don't like facial/body hair, too deep voice, masculine features etc.?
I love a feminine guy look, and that's how I look now, but if I start T I'm going to get all the stuff I don't want.
But I don't know what I'm going to feel in the future though.
Is it possible to get on a really low dose of T? So it only takes a ''working'' on the brain?
I'm not sure if I'm even transgender if this is how I feel about T.
It's also causing me to be dysphoric about being somewhere in the middle. So bleh... I don't really know what to do with myself to be at peace.
If you consider yourself a guy then that is what you are, regardless of whether or not you decide to go on T.
I feel very similarly to you about hormones and felt that way for a long time. It's also very easy to feel pressured by other trans people or therapists to go on T if you even remotely feel like you might want to be on it somewhere down the line in life. It's also very easy to be convinced by certain therapists or doctors that you aren't trans if you currently don't want to go on T. Unlike others, the first thing I would suggest actually isn't running to your nearest therapist. I found the best thing was to slow things down and think about what I want/don't want and why. What expectations are there? What characteristics do I see as a part of me or not? Did I feel pressure from outside myself? If so, from where and why?
The important thing to remember is that you
do have time. It really doesn't matter today what you'll look like 15 or 20 years from now. If you want to go on T 2 years from now, 10 years from now or 20 years from now, you can. You don't need to concern yourself with that now if all you worry about is how you'll feel 20 years from now. Deal with what you want for the moment, instead. Instead of therapists I personally think community support groups and counsellors are more helpful.
If you do decide to go the route of some form of therapy or counseling, at least from my personal experience I would recommend counselors instead of therapists (particularly those that aren't hell bent on conventional forms of therapy that push you towards particularly conclusions, but instead just offer you support in thinking through your own thoughts/feelings) at community-based organisations like Planned Parenthood or local LGBT community/health centres. My two cents, anyway.