Hi,
I've finally decided to join in and say hello!
I'm a middle-aged, long in denial (till a few months ago) mtf somewhere-along-the-line person from the inner burbs of Sydney, via merry old England.
I'm now trying to get myself clear on just what it is I've been hiding all these years.
Where it all leads to, who knows? But I just want to be who I really am (cliché, I know)
Looking forward to getting to know others in similar positions.
Love,
Ros
Hey Ros
Welcome to Susan's :) Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.
I'm a Sydney girl too! As are quite a few others. If you need any help with local services and whatnot just ask.
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Cheers
Grace
A big warm welcome Ros! A lot of us were faced with this at middle age. I started at 47 myself. It is never too late to be who you are. :)
rosinstraya
Welcome. Love the name. Lots of us from straya and from Sydney. Many different narratives and much success. Look forward to getting to know you.
Aisla
Thanks for the welcome and the kind words! Am just working my way around the site a little bit - so much stuff!
Ros
Grace, I will more than likely be asking a number of questions pretty soon!
I know it's never too late to do (just about) anything in life. But, wow, why did it take so long?! Eventually, after yet another bout of depression, just felt "I have to be honest and deal with this!"
My partner of 20 years is pretty understanding, but it certainly hasn't been an easy ride coming out to her and saying what's been going on. Been seeing the doctor and the psychologist, have had feelings of happiness and relief - and very severe lows.
I'm going step by step, some of them are a bit larger and some a bit smaller than others.
Yes, that all sounds pretty much par for the course, unfortunately.
Go Sydney water!
With the number of Sydney gals that keep cropping up here, there's gotta be something in it.
Welcome and beware the Aussie branding brigade.
Edits: plenty of info here,have fun reading it all, and we'll try and help with local stuff.
Lucky for Ros, Jenny is currently OS, the branding irons are packed away until mid July.
A warm welcome to you from the Keeper of the Brands.. ;) I have the full collection and a hot brazier, Jenny must have the 'travelling kit'.. I wondered where that had gotten to.
I'm in Adelaide.. There's something in the water here too - even if most of the cool ones are really imports.
Hi and welcome from another quiet and unassuming Adelaide Aussie.
Watch out for those Sydney girls they will force you to have a good time :laugh:
Hugs
Cindy
Branding?! Yikes! I'm sure you don't mean real branding and stuff....... :laugh:
Quote from: rosinstraya on June 22, 2014, 02:17:54 AM
Branding?! Yikes! I'm sure you don't mean real branding and stuff....... :laugh:
It only hurts if I touch the hot metal - Oh you mean the girl being branded! >:-)
Hi Rosinstraya welcome to the family.
I think we should start looking at what exactly Sydney Water is putting into our drinking water. ...nah who cares
Don't worry too much about them take it from someone else based in Sydney, they haven't got everyone yet
Cindy, which iron am I warming?
Oh we need to be welcoming, The Southern Cross? Always looks cute!
You lot really know how to scare off the newbies!! :icon_invision:
But but but - I'm so loving!!!
Rosinstraya, we are very lucky the Aussies are a good bunch and have a good laugh, and a cry every now and again, and we are here for each other.
I even watched a few minutes of the state of origin because of you lot, now that is painful!!
Southern Cross branding! Sounds awful. Maybe something a little more classy like "Oi, Oi, Oi!" would do the trick :embarrassed:
Origin?! I'm more a lover of the round ball game - shame about those world cup results. Need to stop watching early morning football and get out and exercise!
Ros
Hmm, here's a Southern Cross for the right bum cheek.. And an OI! OI! OI! for the left bum cheeky..
That'll welcome ya!
And teach you about bein cheeky.. ;)
Quote from: rosinstraya on June 22, 2014, 03:08:52 AM
Origin?! I'm more a lover of the round ball game - shame about those world cup results. Need to stop watching early morning football and get out and exercise!
Ros
Don't look at the results from this world cup. Look towards the Asian championship in two years time, a young squad playing very very well. If you're talking about the three lions, well umm sorry better luck next time.
Hopefully you can find the answers you are looking for. Don't be afraid to ask questions and offer opinions nobody here bites (much)
Both teams IG. I'm not exactly surprised at the outcome for either team, but Australia have really impressed me given I stopped going to Socceroos games a few years ago when they became a bit too dull.
Quote from: kelly_aus on June 22, 2014, 03:20:34 AM
Hmm, here's a Southern Cross for the right bum cheek.. And an OI! OI! OI! for the left bum cheeky..
That'll welcome ya!
And teach you about bein cheeky.. ;)
Ow! Still, they say sitting is the new smoking. So maybe it's not such a bad thing. ;)
Quote from: Ms Grace on June 21, 2014, 11:22:23 PM
Hey Ros
Welcome to Susan's :) Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.
I'm a Sydney girl too! As are quite a few others. If you need any help with local services and whatnot just ask.
...
Cheers
Grace
Hi Grace,
I'm at a point where I have gone out and bought a lot of clothes and shoes. I appear to have no "shame" in that department! Whilst I have dressed a lot at home and this has become quite normal, I have not yet ventured out properly (I don't think wheeling out the garbage really counts somehow).
I'm looking to try and get some make up and make up,advice, as well as looking at options for social and support networks. I would welcome any thoughts or ideas for the Sydney area- do people use the services from the Gender Centre? Apologies if this comes across a bit dorky.
Love
Ros
Not dorky at all. :)
I've been using the Gender Centre for the last year or so, primarily to take advantage of the free counselling sessions. They can be a good source of info for services in Sydney. I haven't used their social get togethers or support groups. But still, you might find these useful for getting started, so to speak.
This is my second run at transitioning, the first time was twenty years ago and just didn't work out for a range of reasons, mainly lack of confidence, youthful angst and no support networks. This time, older and wiser, with reasonable confidence, I decided I'd also make sure I had the support networks. Susan's has been very useful but so has the Gender Centre. Some people don't find that, so your mileage may vary.
My first time out the door as Grace was also to take the garbage bin out (at night!) but that was just to help me get over the going through the door concerns. The next day I went out, through a shopping centre, caught a train from a busy station and went in to the Gender Centre for a counselling session. It was very liberating, not least of all because I realised the previous transition attempt had not been for naught, I still remembered how to pass. Of course, you don't have that previous experience, but if you've managed to get through the door the rest of it will come in time too.
Are you on HRT, or is that still to come? Have you started looking into hair removal, especially your beard? Posture, walking and body language are also useful things to know the general difference between men and women. YouTube can help with those issues, and voice training and make up tips.
Thanks for the advice Grace.
I am intending to go to a barbecue the Gender Centre is holding in July, and I'm going to call them just generally about that and the other services. I noticed that the support group stuff seems to be early afternoon weekdays which isn't ideal. Have your counselling sessions been during work hours? I've done my 10 Medicare sessions with the psychologist (specialising in gender issues) and I will continue to go and see her.
I've had waxing done a couple of times- which is fun(!) I have read that getting electrolysis on the facial hair areas is a good thing prior to HRT. Speaking of which, I'm not on it yet. I think this is something I've been trying to avoid for so long - I will just have to get on and do it. I don't know at what stage it might be recommended and I haven't requested to go on it.
I've seen some of the vids on Youtube, I think my worry has been actually going to a shop and trying to get a "first make up kit" sort of thing. I've also wondered about rocking up to Myers or DJs and seeing what the beauticians there can do! Not sure I can pop out at lunchtime in male mode and pull that one off?! Maybe I need to take the plunge and go out as a woman and see what can be done. Sounds pretty scary though!
You must have been really well focused when you began your second transition. That's quite a step, just getting on a train and going through a busy shopping centre. Obviously you were able to do this because you knew you were doing the right thing and being a woman, being you.
I think I will be able to get there.
Love
Ros
Hi Ros,
I suppose the pre stuff is the longest time stuff, getting rid of facial hair takes a long time, so start yesterday. You may be able to use laser or you may need electrolysis, I hope, and I'm sure Grace will agree, be able to laser.
Make up? This has changed so much for me. I use to plaster foundation on like polyfilla, maybe I still should :laugh:
The Gender Centre should or maybe could guide you to some people who can help you choose what you may like. And yes going up to the makeup counter of DJ is an idea (I've done it) but unless you are very confident it can be frightening until you are FT.
Grace, BTW had a very natural second transition, she picked a date and kept to it religiously ( I shall now run away :laugh:)
Thanks Cindy - I'll ask the Gender Centre about make up stuff. I'd like to look "natural" - which may be a worry :o In reality, I'll be guided by the experts for now.
I think you look perfectly excellent without polyfilla!! :)
I get my stuff from the Body Shop, there's no way I'd have the nerve to go to a counter at Myers, not at least until I get rid of the beard 100% gone. I personally use very little make-up and once I deal with the rest of my beard I hope to wear even less. But then I've been very lucky with my skin, I think my first whirl with HRT in 1989-91 kind of stopped me from developing the coarser/more porous skin that men develop as they age.
The counselling sessions at the GC have been during work hours, but I'm fortunate to have a very supportive and flexible work place.
Yeah that was an amazing experience. As I walked to to the shopping centre (we're talking Westfields here) I realised no one was paying the slightest bit of attention to me. As I went through the centre I just felt myself become more and more at ease, more comfortable and confident. By the time I got to the interchange just between station and shopping centre where it was the busiest (and scary because of that) I just couldn't believe I was doing it... but I was. Everything became easier after that. I went out a few times after that, solo and in groups of friends, there were a few times when I nearly baulked and walked away, but didn't and I'm so glad I had the nerve to see it through and have a great night (or whatever) rather than slink of home and feel like a loser (which is what I would have done, and did do in the past). After that there was little holding me back.
Quote from: Cindy on June 23, 2014, 04:02:39 AM
Grace, BTW had a very natural second transition, she picked a date and kept to it religiously ( I shall now run away :laugh:)
You ain't running nowhere, missy - I'm giving you a big hug - if it wasn't for your amused prodding (along with Jessica, Jenny and others) I probably wouldn't have gone early... and I'm so damned glad I did! Three months full time! ;D
Quote from: Ms Grace on June 23, 2014, 04:42:30 AM
You ain't running nowhere, missy - I'm giving you a big hug - if it wasn't for your amused prodding (along with Jessica, Jenny and others) I probably wouldn't have gone early... and I'm so damned glad I did! Three months full time! ;D
Wow. Has it been that long? Time flies!
Hey Grace,
I don't see any beard!
I'll have a gander at the Body Shop and see what they've got.
Thanks for all that info :) I'll let you know what I find.
Ros
...and yes, Westfields! I can think of a few of these places where it'd be easy to freak out or freeze. Confidence I guess is key. Most times I think people are so busy going about their day they don't really notice people who cross their path. Buses and trains might be another issue though.
So much too think about!
Thanks again.
Welcome to Susan's, Ros.
:)
Thanks gennee! ^-^
Ros
I bought my first load of make up from Myers. Yes it was a quiet counter I just told her my sister had been having a bad time so I decided to give her a brand new make up set from the ground up plus a few extras. When asked we had the same colouring and skin type, was constantly told what a kind brother I am. (Well don't we all have a 'twin sister') I've kept my docket so now I know what to buy.
The Body Shop is also a fun place to visit, in a kid in a candy store kind of way
Wow...popped off to Body Shop in CBD after work, and exited some 45 minutes later having had lovely help and assistance from the staff! I was also wearing make up of a light (I am fairly pale) natural tone. With the same goodies in my bag. Amazing! Then off to the wonders of Priceline for a cosmetic bag and some other bits and pieces.
It felt wonderful. Just need to catch my breath...
Quote from: rosinstraya on June 23, 2014, 08:09:42 AM
I don't see any beard!
The flip side of the beard not being dark enough to laser is that it is usually fair/light enough to not be seen after a shave with a bit of make up applied.
Quote from: rosinstraya on June 23, 2014, 08:16:44 AM
Most times I think people are so busy going about their day they don't really notice people who cross their path. Buses and trains might be another issue though.
On trains they're even more likely to ignore you... noses in books, newspapers, magazines, iPads, phones, etc
I'm hoping that my beard is more on the light side...sort of managed fairly well today some 10 hours after shaving, well it felt like it anyway.
You're right about the trains and a lot of buses, although some days it seems everyone stares at you when you get on, whatever you look like. Maybe that's just me. I tootled home on the tram tonight and there were no issues.
Thanks for all the advice, it has really helped!
Yes, people will always glance up at the newcomer. Assessment of risk and danger. If you look harmless enough, they go back to disregarding you.
I love the planet enough that I drive everywhere - I just have had very poor experiences on public transport. :/