I know you can't speak for all straight girls, but in general, do you find straight girls are okay with transguys or not? Thanks for any responses.
Some will, some won't. Just as any other question of the form "will X date Y?"
Is it common? I would guess more common than straight men that would date a MTF (not counting fetishists).
yes some will. it's best to find out where they stand in regards to LGBT+ issues so you could find out where YOU might stand in that kind of situation with a girl you like. ask a girl how she feels about LGBT+, casually mention pride or anything to do with that and you'll start a convo. from there casually slip in "would you date someone who is trans??" sometimes they're ignorant so don't get mad or discouraged. this is how i go about it, even if they're just friends, i tend to wanna know where they stand anyway. you'd be surprised on how many women don't care, they won't see you as any less of a man or w/e like that. honestly when dating anyone, but especially straight girls imo, it is best to be open because they will have to deal with things like people questioning their sexuality or even them questioning it because some people might not see you as 100% male even though she might. it is all mixed and not just black and white. i only date straight women, i have no issues and i'm sure others don't either!!
Quote from: invisiblemonsters on June 23, 2014, 03:02:23 PM
yes some will. it's best to find out where they stand in regards to LGBT+ issues so you could find out where YOU might stand in that kind of situation with a girl you like. ask a girl how she feels about LGBT+, casually mention pride or anything to do with that and you'll start a convo. from there casually slip in "would you date someone who is trans??" sometimes they're ignorant so don't get mad or discouraged. this is how i go about it, even if they're just friends, i tend to wanna know where they stand anyway. you'd be surprised on how many women don't care, they won't see you as any less of a man or w/e like that. honestly when dating anyone, but especially straight girls imo, it is best to be open because they will have to deal with things like people questioning their sexuality or even them questioning it because some people might not see you as 100% male even though she might. it is all mixed and not just black and white. i only date straight women, i have no issues and i'm sure others don't either!!
exactly, couldn't have said it any better
There are a lot of open minded straight girls out there.
Let me be the one to say that trans MEN are MEN, therefore if they're straight, they date straight (or bi or pan, whatever) women as a straight relationship. If they don't see you as a man then they're obviously someone who you don't need to consider anyway.
Just as my partner is a gay man... He is still gay with me because I am a man.
transmen are a lot better than cis men when it comes to terms as in emotional support so i would say yes lol. no i'm not knocking cis men its just rare to find a cis male who is emotionally there lol
I'm marrying a straight woman in less than 2 months. She knew me as a cis-male in HS and I moved away for almost 10 years. We started hanging out when I moved back and I knew she wanted more. I told her I was trans and although she was quite surprised, not 5 minutes later we were suckin' face. Lol
I've had several long-term (6mo-2yrs) with straight girls. Pretty much everyone knew me as just a regular dude before things became serious. I really think a lot of it depends on how you carry yourself and the chemistry you form with someone.
In my opinion women in general are more open minded when it comes to love. They want their heart strings tugged, to feel pretty, wanted, etc.
Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 23, 2014, 07:42:37 PM
transmen are a lot better than cis men when it comes to terms as in emotional support so i would say yes lol. no i'm not knocking cis men its just rare to find a cis male who is emotionally there lol
It's not all that rare, but because of the constant stereotype that men, cis men in particular don't and can't have feelings, much like you are doing now, many men (cis and trans) feel shame for opening up and admitting that, hey, they are human too and are capable of feelings just like the rest of the human race. HTH
PS: the whole "trans men are so much more emotional and supportive, etc" stereotype is crap as well.
It totally depends on the person. My last girlfriend identifies as 100% straight. It was kind of funny...when she first kissed me, in my own little self hatred I actually said "so you're bi?" and she was super confused...and said "no, why would you ask me that?" or something to that regard. Never ever used anything but male words, treated everything exactly how it should have been treated, even never have dating anyone other than bio-males. Some ladies just do not care.
Quote from: Kyler on June 23, 2014, 07:40:37 PM
Let me be the one to say that trans MEN are MEN, therefore if they're straight, they date straight (or bi or pan, whatever) women as a straight relationship. If they don't see you as a man then they're obviously someone who you don't need to consider anyway.
This. The answer is yes, but not all of them per se, and you wouldn't want to be involved with those ones anyway.
On a related note, even before I truly figured myself out and still presented as an andro/Butch female, I met a few girls/ women who called themselves straight but "made an exception" for me, and went back to cis guys after we parted ways. So there must be some of them that don't care what the outer package looks like.
That's a broad question. Yes is the simple answer.
It seems like if a girl has a problem with a transguy, their issue often comes down to genitalia. Or they say it does. I'm of the opinion that good sex can be had with any configuration of equipment. I would be iffy about anybody who wants to talk about my junk right off the bat, but I understand it happens, especially if you are openly trans.
I've seen successful couples of straight girls and transguys, and it looks like the biggest obstacle is gossip and questions from friends and family.
I think that most would, but it's safer to aim towards the open-minded crowd. There can be small exceptions, so if you were interested in a girl and are thinking about things long-term, then I suggest being up-front with her about it.. you don't have to blurt it out as the first thing you say, but mention it somewhere in between those first few dates.. I have made a mistake in the past when I told after we were in a relationship for a while, and she (claimed to be 100% straight as well) took the news awfully.. and well, let's just say it didn't work out because of that. So yeah, being open about it firsthand can save you a lot of trouble. I'm with an openminded pan-girl now and can say I've been happier than ever.
I am completely pre everything and not even that masculine, and I've only dated straight or "bi only for me" girls. I think once you like someone, you like that person, and that's it.
Maybe if the girl has a mission in life to have a genetic baby with her lover, a transman would be out but so would a cis guy who can't reproduce. Another thing I would think could potentially dampen a relationship is if her family/community blocks her (actively or passively).
OK, I'm trans (duh?) and bisexual. So, this doesn't come from a cishet girl, and it might not be the perspective you're looking for. I am incidentally married to a ciswoman, but attracted to certain guys nonetheless. (So most of you can stop reading now. LOL)
I become attracted to guys when I just click with them, share interests or a sense of humor about things. Being a sweetheart doesn't hurt either. Looks can fade over time, hair can thin out, beer bellies can swell, but the core remains. Having a "Y" chromosome is not on the list of characteristics I'm looking for. At the end of the day it's not important. I am in it for the long haul, and not at all into the himbo-du-jour like some of my friends.
Yes they will I've only had straight and bi girls interested in me, But you have to really pass as male and be masculine, And not really have any signs of female physically if your pre T or it would be best to wait. But there are alot of open minded people.
Quote from: Brandon on June 24, 2014, 12:28:42 PM
Yes they will I've only had straight and bi girls interested in me, But you have to really pass as male and be masculine, And not really have any signs of female physically if your pre T or it would be best to wait. But there are alot of open minded people.
To the above, I would say it is more a matter of who you are as a PERSON, considering confidence and stability....than passing or physical "tells" or how long/if you're on T. Sorry, but I just can't tie attraction and desire up with barriers where "If you pass this mark or level of maleness...I will consider being attrracted to you or dating you."
Quote from: ineverknewyou on June 24, 2014, 05:26:25 PM
Another factor, I guess, some cis-women are looking for males they can start familys with etc, so unless they are willing to adopt/get a donor etc, I don't see a problem. That's the only thing I can think of as to why it could be a deal-breaker.
But homosexuals can't have kids either, so I don't know how a straight cis-girl would react to being in that situation herself, for many it's ok
You should tell that to all of my gay friends who have kids.
I had a straight girl who liked me. I think it's more common when you've been on T for a while and appear physically male, but she liked me even when I looked entirely female. She said she liked me as a person, and wanted to be with me, even if she wasn't a big fan of what I had going on physically. When she saw my changes on T she was really excited about them because it was like, she already had the emotional attraction to the man inside of me and now there was a matching physical manhood as well.
Some girls will care if you haven't had surgery, but others won't. Just like some will care what their family thinks and others won't. Some are really caught up in the whole biological kids thing or the "traditional" set up but there's enough open-minded people out there.
The thing about wanting to make kids seems weird to me. Lots of cis/hetero people are sterile, and you almost never hear about conflict around that detail with them.
Quote from: Jill F on June 24, 2014, 07:53:26 PM
You should tell that to all of my gay friends who have kids.
I'm in a gay relationship and we could definitely have kids.
1. homosexual and trans people have kids.
2. Not all of us trans guys are so sensitive and empathetic, I really have to work at it.
3. Some cis gals like us and some don't.
--Jay
Quote from: Greeneyedrebel on June 24, 2014, 01:07:00 PM
To the above, I would say it is more a matter of who you are as a PERSON, considering confidence and stability....than passing or physical "tells" or how long/if you're on T. Sorry, but I just can't tie attraction and desire up with barriers where "If you pass this mark or level of maleness...I will consider being attrracted to you or dating you."
Well I'm younger than you and thats what girls want n hs masculinity and a nice fit body which I have, But in hs you can't any sign of femaleness unless your dating a bi girl so yes in highschool of you want a straight gf thats what it takes and helps to have everyone know and see you as male to. Know if your out of hs yes there are different expectations and so her marturity level most likely went up so its easier specially on T.
Quote from: ineverknewyou on June 24, 2014, 05:26:25 PM
Another factor, I guess, some cis-women are looking for males they can start familys with etc, so unless they are willing to adopt/get a donor etc, I don't see a problem. That's the only thing I can think of as to why it could be a deal-breaker.
But homosexuals can't have kids either, so I don't know how a straight cis-girl would react to being in that situation herself, for many it's ok
Not all guys can give a woman a baby trans or not hell my uncl can't but it never stopped and some guys just don't want kids. Its called infertility. But who knows you could end up meeting a woman who already had a child and you could father him or her.
Quote from: Felix on June 24, 2014, 08:27:40 PM
The thing about wanting to make kids seems weird to me. Lots of cis/hetero people are sterile, and you almost never hear about conflict around that detail with them.
Because watching my wife have my baby while holding her hand would be a beautiful thing, Life is beautiful so us Birth. Not only that watching that child grow up into a man or woman. But agree with the second part.
I deleted my message because it wasn't really thought through. But as I can see it won't be totally removed because it's still quoted.
Quote from: Brandon on June 24, 2014, 11:23:12 PM
Well I'm younger than you and thats what girls want n hs masculinity and a nice fit body which I have, But in hs you can't any sign of femaleness unless your dating a bi girl so yes in highschool of you want a straight gf thats what it takes and helps to have everyone know and see you as male to. Know if your out of hs yes there are different expectations and so her marturity level most likely went up so its easier specially on T.
I think you'd be surprised at how completely different the high school scene can be from school to school.
Quote from: Brandon on June 24, 2014, 11:37:01 PM
Because watching my wife have my baby while holding her hand would be a beautiful thing, Life is beautiful so us Birth. Not only that watching that child grow up into a man or woman. But agree with the second part.
A lot of people aren't into that time, and it only lasts a day or two anyhow. I have a kid, and childbirth was not the beautiful part for me. It's beautiful to watch her discover the world and enjoy life, but the pushing her out was gory and expensive. Childbirth is dramatic and important, but they come out covered in slime and blood, and there's a lot of screaming and misery involved.
There are a ton of already-born children in group homes who would love to have you as a father, and who could show you just as much beauty and meaning as they develop.
The bigger point was really not that though. I just never hear the argument about fertility with cispeople. Nobody checks sperm counts or uterine function before dating a cisperson unless they are in their late thirties or forties, and even then it would probably be seen as weird and a little offensive to most.
Quote from: Felix on June 26, 2014, 12:45:49 AM
I think you'd be surprised at how completely different the high school scene can be from school to school.
A lot of people aren't into that time, and it only lasts a day or two anyhow. I have a kid, and childbirth was not the beautiful part for me. It's beautiful to watch her discover the world and enjoy life, but the pushing her out was gory and expensive. Childbirth is dramatic and important, but they come out covered in slime and blood, and there's a lot of screaming and misery involved.
There are a ton of already-born children in group homes who would love to have you as a father, and who could show you just as much beauty and meaning as they develop.
The bigger point was really not that though. I just never hear the argument about fertility with cispeople. Nobody checks sperm counts or uterine function before dating a cisperson unless they are in their late thirties or forties, and even then it would probably be seen as weird and a little offensive to most.
Well I'm speaking from were I'm from and where I go to school at yes if you don't look like a guy look scrawny and not masculine your not gettimg anything from highschool straight girls because immaturitu but I lucked out.
And of course childbirth wouldn't be good or fun for your trans, You probaly didn't wanna have a baby like that anyways but for some it's beautiful.
And I agree with the last part alot of straight girls use childbirth as an excuse for why they won't date a transguy not realizing some bio guys can't do it either.
Quote from: Brandon on June 26, 2014, 02:38:28 PM
Well I'm speaking from were I'm from and where I go to school at yes if you don't look like a guy look scrawny and not masculine your not gettimg anything from highschool straight girls because immaturitu but I lucked out.
And of course childbirth wouldn't be good or fun for your trans, You probaly didn't wanna have a baby like that anyways but for some it's beautiful.
And I agree with the last part alot of straight girls use childbirth as an excuse for why they won't date a transguy not realizing some bio guys can't do it either.
I don't know if I want to argue about any of this. I'm really happy for people who see childbirth as glorious, or who go to a school with popularity rules they like. But I did not see myself as trans when I had a baby. I saw myself as a woman (albeit an odd one), and my boyfriend saw himself as a man. He asked me to marry him. We checked all the boxes. I went to a lot of high schools and dropped out, but even my favorite school didn't have a dominant culture that I could generalize to the rest of the world. Life is not that simple, and most of us have a type we find sexy that has nothing to do with high school (or middle school or college) popularity. Tiny social bubbles are not useful.
It's complicated. When I was living as a straight girl, I had no idea transmen existed. I would have loved them back then - interchangeable prosthetic member, understanding of gender issues, no need for birth control - but obviously my opinion is biased. The first transman I dated would have had to deal with my new awareness and transition and then probable breakup.