Want this to be an inspirational thread more than anything.
How do you cope with losing a great guy who wants to be nothing more than friends after learning of your trans status? What do you tell yourself/do to feel better?
I recently met this guy who had no idea I was trans. We would talk for 6-8 hours a day over the phone, snapchat, and text. He was the sweetest, caring, most educated and open-minded guy I knew, with so much ambition and drive in life. What drew me to him was the fact that he cared about my soul and personality over anything, and even said multiple times he had a good feeling about me.
Our emotions started growing strong and so I figured I would tell him. As I expected, he was entirely mature about the situation, and handled my coming out with such class and grace. However, he said that unfortunately me being trans has changed things, and he would still be willing to stay close friends. Going to admit it hurt a LOT because I had really strong feelings for him, and thought if there was one guy who was going to accept me on this earth, it would have been him.
So share your experiences ladies! How do you get over such tough heartbreaks? Any success stories? When and how is the best way to tell a straight man?
My boyfriend of a year (the entire time I was full time) cheated on me twice, then as I was prepared to try to fix things (a week after a heartbreaking talk) he left me for her. This was also two weeks before my surgery.
It was probably the worst emotional pain I've ever felt. I cried for hours, and intermittently for at least a week. I'm still not back to normal...
What did help, a little, was getting out into the world again. I went dancing with some friends, I talked to folks, I went places... I didn't let my life die with my relationship. But in truth, I'm not sure if my heart will ever get back to normal. Some large part of my innocence died with him, and is never coming back.
6 hours on the phone? Whoah. Was it a long distance relationship?
I've been rejected four times in the past few months. I don't know if any of them had to do with being trans.
* I'm a supportive, funny, intelligent, empathetic, adventurous, person. I'm a patient and loving partner. Anyone who rejects me is MISSING OUT.
* Someone for whom transness is a showstopper is probably not a good match anyway.
* If they really loved me the way I deserve, my gender journey would be intriguing, not disqualifying.
* There are many people who will be right for me. Anyone who rejects me for any reason obviously isn't one of them.
* I pray for the courage to deal with the disappointment and hurt. Since I'm not sure about God, I pray to my inner strengths. Works just as well.
Hang in there, Roni. The right person is out there. But it still hurts.
Quote from: ZoeM on June 26, 2014, 06:44:07 AM
My boyfriend of a year (the entire time I was full time) cheated on me twice, then as I was prepared to try to fix things (a week after a heartbreaking talk) he left me for her. This was also two weeks before my surgery.
It was probably the worst emotional pain I've ever felt. I cried for hours, and intermittently for at least a week. I'm still not back to normal...
What did help, a little, was getting out into the world again. I went dancing with some friends, I talked to folks, I went places... I didn't let my life die with my relationship. But in truth, I'm not sure if my heart will ever get back to normal. Some large part of my innocence died with him, and is never coming back.
Zoe your heart will heal it takes time but it will.
I cry for a little bit then go play some videogames and take my frustration out on virtual guys. :)
I have never been comfortable in sexual expression, and feeling it would be unfair to subject a sexual being to a non-sexual relationship I've been single for the past 5 years. Since starting HRT I feel I've began to develop somewhat of a sense of attraction but I'm still too far off from knowing what I want to begin the search
Since finding out I put it in okcupid and said I was putting it on hold, but if anyone was interested they should still message me and I'll respond. I'm still getting to know myself and as a result I don't see starting a relationship as an option unless they are willing to be super understanding that the person I am today will be different than in a few years. I haven't switched my gender yet and probably won't until at the very least I start HRT.
I do believe being trans should be clearly stated on the profile though.
I am a bit of a coward, I really like to avoid rejection. I am basically over the loss of my marriage these days and I wouldn't mind feeling some companionship, but I think I am going to hold out until I am at least full time, probably until after srs. I don't want someone wanting me for the wrong equipment after all. In any case I don't anticipate attracting much female attention which unfortunately is the only kind I am interested in for romance.
I guess I don't deal with it too well, I eat too much, have a pity party, and have my wonderful friends pick my spirits up. After a while it doesn't hurt so bad, I was surprised that the rejection and hurt of the end of. 10 year relationship didn't take all that long to get over though. Still facing it in the first place is very tough.