Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: EmmaD on June 29, 2014, 12:26:15 AM

Title: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: EmmaD on June 29, 2014, 12:26:15 AM
So the time has come to transition at work.  Tomorrow I meet with my boss and let him know what I am going to be doing.   
I am a manager but in a specialist position so while I only have 1 team member reporting to me, I do work with a large number of people in the business so this may be viewed as a big deal.  I am the only person in the organisation doing my job!

The plan (such as it is since the HR team may have other "suggestions") is to go full time on January 5th, 2015*.  I will be away from work for 6 weeks prior to get my face fixed up a bit.  My time off is already sorted, just didn't say what for.

Biggest worry (actually one of them!!) is once a small number are aware at work (management and HR only at this stage), they will start seeing breast development and other things that they just haven't noticed before.  With hair loss, I have been able to hide in plain sight but that will change!

Frightened is an understatement!

* I am aware Grace set a timeline and didn't make it.  I hope I can keep to mine. 
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actuallly!
Post by: Hermosa_Tabby on June 29, 2014, 12:52:05 AM
And?

How did it go?

I am super close to this stage as well. I am hoping since my boss was born in the South Pacific it will be no big deal, but it's hard to make assumptions.
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actuallly!
Post by: Ms Grace on June 29, 2014, 12:54:03 AM
Hey, all the best! I really hope it goes really well for you. :D

I just knew I'd go nuts if I tried sticking to my timeline. But then I wasn't planning any facial surgery so I can imagine that would have cooled my jets somewhat. If you think coming out to the boss is scary, wait until you come out to the rest of the staff! Chances are you'll get to a point where you're dying to tell them...that was what it was like for me anyway!
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actuallly!
Post by: Cindy on June 29, 2014, 03:05:03 AM
Oh No another Aussie girl count down!!!!

Good luck Emma. We will provide our usual sympathetic support :icon_woowoo: :icon_nervious: :icon_joy: :icon_censored: :eusa_dance: :eusa_clap: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actuallly!
Post by: Ms Grace on June 29, 2014, 03:12:10 AM
hee hee...

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi251.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fgg300%2FGRimm240sx%2Fsoit_zps399288ff.jpg&hash=a582c7193ea846e8b174f0e34a840ff78c342b14)

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actuallly!
Post by: Monkeymel on June 29, 2014, 03:14:11 AM
It's nearly a year since I told HR - I was a product manager so a public face and a congress to present at... HR were good; telling the CEO personal assistant helped ensure that we could pick the right time to tell him... Informed a few close friends; some had guessed something was changing but didn't know what - then organised meetings on afternoon of 14.08 - told all close project colleagues - and HR sent an email at 1630 telling company of my decision and giving me 100% support.
Went home got my hair done and back to work on 15.08 and never looked back.

Yes it's scary. I out those scary thoughts in my "monsters lurk here" box and slammed the lid shut. Replaced it with "I'm me - I'm free" and had fun with people not recognizing me in meetings.

Good luck - remain strong and believe In yourself!
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actuallly!
Post by: Jessica Merriman on June 29, 2014, 03:20:39 AM
Quote from: EmmaD on June 29, 2014, 12:26:15 AM
* I am aware Grace set a timeline and didn't make it.  I hope I can keep to mine.
But we tried to help her make it to her deadline! *giggles* ::)

Really I hope it is a smooth transition at work with no hiccups. I can't even imagine how many butterflies are living in your tummy right now. :)
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: EmmaD on June 29, 2014, 06:08:24 AM
Thanks everyone!

Not too sure I am looking forward to the "usual" support from you guys!  Better get working on a contingency plan just in case there is some sort of hex on Aussie girl countdowns!  Mind you, Grace's fail at her countdown seems to have gone spectacularly well!!  Not sure I am that special! ;)

On Friday, I told a close friend (he hasn't been told a thing) I was having 6 weeks off and he came back with "are you going to come back as a woman?  You've got the boobs for it.  What will we call you? ... "  Fortunately, I was on the phone and not face to face.  I just sat there going OMG OMG WTF to myself!!  I didn't disclose anything, just laughed! 

It really must be time to get moving.
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actuallly!
Post by: Cindy on June 29, 2014, 06:43:00 AM
Me thinks this ladies secret isn't as secret as she thinks!
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actuallly!
Post by: Ms Grace on June 29, 2014, 06:56:45 AM
Gosh, I think so!!
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: rfhaas on June 29, 2014, 06:40:35 PM
You sound like you have a good plan to me :) I hope all goes well. Let us know tomorrow. I.hope (please, please) to be about one year behind you. My plan is to start HRT right after the new.year. I have to come out to my wife and family first. Work should be much.easier,  I've been a male nurse for 23 years. Can't wait to find out how it went! Let us know tomorrow
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: Jessica Merriman on June 29, 2014, 07:08:43 PM
Quote from: EmmaD on June 29, 2014, 06:08:24 AM
Not too sure I am looking forward to the "usual" support from you guys!
We are totally supportive, well, in a betting pool kind of way! *giggle*  :D Right Grace? ;D
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: Rachel on June 29, 2014, 07:24:05 PM
Good luck, I am sending good thoughts your way :)
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: Sylvie on June 29, 2014, 09:27:54 PM
Good luck!!
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: rosinstraya on June 29, 2014, 09:43:08 PM
Hi Emma,

If your timeline is Monday 30/6 then I guess you may just have had or are about to have that discussion! All the very best to you and hope it all goes/went spectacularly well.

Hugs,


Ros
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: EmmaD on June 29, 2014, 11:36:24 PM
Well that is done!

Took 15 minutes and he is completely on board. He said that this is my journey and he will do whatever I need him to do. He is going to go to HR to get them notified but thinks we may just decide what I want and tell them.  He also made all the right noises about not second-guessing things and that it is good to remember this is a very focused point in time with a lot that has gone on before.

I gave him a letter that he read and just said "I'm fine with it".  He then said he would much rather read the letter than write it!  For someone who has had no experience with trans stuff, he was pretty cool.

I may have got myself a bit over-anxious but I am still shaking.  Must be hormonal!

Thanks for all the nice comments.  Very much appreciated.
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: Cindy on June 29, 2014, 11:53:22 PM
Congratulations!!!

Now how many days was it?

Hugs
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: Joan on June 30, 2014, 02:19:29 AM
Great news! Really pleased it went so well for you.

This is kind of my horizon too, so I know how nervous you must have felt and how relieved that's over with a positive outcome.

Time for me start planning a bit more :)
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: rosinstraya on June 30, 2014, 02:29:08 AM
Fantastic stuff Emma! It's lovely that after the worries he was good and decent about everything. Onwards!
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: Monkeymel on June 30, 2014, 02:35:55 AM
Congratulations - am glad it went well. One small step - but an important one
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: helen2010 on June 30, 2014, 02:38:06 AM
Brilliant, Emma.  Hope it continues to go well for you.  Sounds like a great start.

Aisla
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: Ms Grace on June 30, 2014, 03:21:54 AM
Great news...only six months to go! :)
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: rfhaas on June 30, 2014, 04:11:44 AM
Yay
Title: Re: Time to talk to my Boss - scared actually!
Post by: EmmaD on June 30, 2014, 04:57:30 AM
Thanks everyone.  And I really mean it.  Today has been a day where your comments of support and humour have helped me so much.

My money is still on Jan 2015 at work!  Like I have much control over that!!!

My love to you all.

Emma