I made a thread a while ago asking about how to tell one of my parents about my scheduled SRS, who knows that I'm transgender and transitioning but doesn't know the full extent about my plans for SRS. The consensus that I got was either to not tell them, or tell them flat out that I'm getting SRS and let them decide what they will.
To me this is very insensitive. I understand many people's relationships with their parents are ruined because of transitioning, but many are not. Also, they're not our friends, they're our parents. At the end of the day they deserve to know what's going on with their child's life whether they or the child likes it or not.
The parent that I need to tell isn't ignorant of my transition or what I'm doing, but it's not the most comfortable thing in the world to talk about, so we've kept it in the dark. They understand what and why I'm transitioning though. It's going to be a very awkward conversation so I'm looking for advice on those who have had these discussions or any kind of advice on how to break it to them?
Since they know the what and why of what you are going to do I would give them the "how" part. I would show them the experience of the surgeon you wish to use and ratings for safety, satisfaction and adverse effects. YouTube even has some short segments showing a real SRS in progress. For some reason people get a bit of relief from seeing statistics so educate them as good as you can. Good luck! :)
"Parent, there's something I really need to talk to you about."
(Make sure you have their attention).
"You know I'm transitioning male to female because that is the only way I can ever be my genuine self, right? Well I've discovered there is more I'm going to need to do. The only way I'm ever going to be at peace with my body is to have it changed to match the way I feel inside."
"This surgery is very safe and has been performed successfully many thousands of times. A huge majority of people that have it become very satisfied with their bodies."
"This is something I know I need to do. I hope you can support me."
I hope this helps, Teeg. I agree it's not an easy situation.
I was pretty direct that I was having it. My parents had truly accepted me and were doing some of their own reading, so it really amounted to dates and curiosity about which surgeon I had picked.
They boarded our cat for us while we were gone and for a period after we were back, too.
Ultimately, it comes down to what fits your relationship with them and what you think is appropriate to tell them.
I have the kind of relationship with my parents that discussing transition was never an issue. Mum's biggest worry was wondering what she could do to help..